I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 - how are you? I've missed speaking to you. I'll be around for the next 3 hours or so if you are around for a chat.

Hey @tyme

I’ve missed you too! How have you been?

My life is shit right now but I guess I will get through. I guess I’ll be around for at least a week

Sorry life's not going to great for you @Captain24 - I haven't caught up yet, but anything in particular?

I’m still adjusting to the new meds. I went home from work and hr early on Monday because of something minor that happened and I broke. I was crying so much that it was bordering on hysterical. HR rang me yesterday and said they were standing me down pending on a fitness for work certification. I just read it and it’s all bs! Right now I hate my illness. Hate me and hate life.

That’s it in a nutshell!

I have been in contact with my nurse through it all though and have not long got home from a meeting with her

Sorry it’s so negative. @tyme

Thanks for the update @Captain24 .

I hear they are concerned for safety reasons. With so much they can be sued for, they are covering themselves I guess.

And I also hear how frustrating it is for you. Where do you get a work fitness cert from? GP?

I'm sorry this has happened.

Something similar happened to me in the past. I was called into the main office was devastated because I felt I received no support from management. They pretty much asked if I was fit to be at work, and in lay terms, 'don't trouble anyone'.... I came out bawling. I felt so hurt. I was going through hell, and they pretty much added salt to the wound.

Hugs to you @Captain24 . This is another one of those bumps in the road. Some bumps are more painful than others. I'm here for you.

It hurts so much @tyme. Work is all I have. I’m scared that they will sack me. If I lose it I lose everything. But I don’t think they can. Yes I get that they are worried about others but I’ve never put anyone at risk. It’s so scary.

It’s all put my head into a really dark place. I’m really not ok at all

I'm hearing that @Captain24 . Work was my way of stability at my worst of times.

Of course, I'm not saying you can't get another job, but I know how much you love your current job.

As I said, I think it is more to cover themselves in case anything happens.

Are you able to get the med clearance letter?

I have emailed my GP with the letter HR sent me and the details of what they require for certification @tyme. My GP will do it and I see her on Thursday.

It has made me scared to reach out now though. I’m now only comfortable on here and with my team. It has been a major set back. I have lost all confidence in myself ( I was actually gaining some!) and confidence in others.

I know I will get through but I feel like I have to start again with confidence in all levels.

Also I did reapply for the guided service. I haven’t heard anything yet but I guess it may be next week.

Oh hun, I'm sorry this has been a set back. Yet I also want to acknowledge your strength and resilience. You have come so far, and progress is what matters. It's not about not having these waves in life, but learning to surf them, eh?

@Captain24 . I believe in you. I'm here to ride the waves with you.

My nurse made me tell her some of my good points and how I think others perceive me. That was hard.

But you are right. I am strong and I am resilient otherwise I wouldn’t have made it this far.

Thank you so much for believing in me @tyme. I really need to hear that right now.

I guess I need to learn to surf eh!

It doesn’t help how I’m feeling when I couldn’t get to sleep last night and when I did Pixie woke me up to go out to the toilet. Then I couldn’t get back to sleep again.