I can’t cope

@Captain24 aww just lost the whole response I wrote! So apologies cos this will have to be a shorter version of me tryna remember what I wrote before 😣

Sounds like a super wholesome bday, and I'm so glad you got to celebrate and get saxophone serenaded!!

Backwards steps are something we also get better at managing over time. They become less demoralising as we keep finding ways to reassure and re-motivate ourselves 😊 Like not getting down on yourself for not getting things done!! You're doing amazingly 💜

I think if it's the ex-mod I'm thinking of she would be so, so proud of you!!

Love me some fizzy water, especially on hot days! What a fab gift 😁

I’m really slowly starting to get a little confidence in being able to keep moving forward @Jynx being able to keep slowly increase my abilities.

Yes that one! I would love to show her.

it was the best birthday in ages.

I think I’m stop going to need a fair bit of support in the backwards steps. Slowly working on them but mostly I can’t catch them on time. Good to know that they get easier.

I do get worried that I won’t be able to keep it up but at least I’ll know that it can happen

did it take you this much work too?

Just checking in @MissGremlin

how are things?

it’s raining so I may not be able to get anywhere in service

@Captain24 I'm really struggling. My thoughts feel so intense tonight and I don't feel like I've got the strength in me to fight them. I'm safe for now and trying to do my diamond art in between dissociating, also trying to get through to a crisis service.

Hoping the rain doesn't cause any problems while you're at work.

Thankyou for checking in sweet, I'm sorry I'm not in a good space.

@Captain24 I always knew you would hun 😊

I'm so glad!! You deserve to be celebrated!

It's definitely okay to ask for a bit of reassurance along the way when things get hard. Going backwards never means you are undoing progress, it's just another opportunity to practice and learn.

I think you're setting a pace for yourself that seems to feel sustainable, and if you need to adjust, you can adjust 😉

I guess it's hard to compare, but maybe? I feel like I am always going to be a work in progress, even after over a decade of working through things. But I see that as a good thing 💜

@MissGremlin hope you get through soon hun, sorry that things are rough.

Sending hugs to you both ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

@Jynx I've been waiting for almost an hour, I'm ready to give up on trying to get through to them. Thankyou for the hugs, they are very much needed.

I’m sorry it was hard. @MissGremlin. Hoping today is a little easier.

The rain stopped me from working so I sat around all night. I think I dozed off a couple of times. I’ve just had a shower and gotten into bed. It’s still raining and I can hear it on my time roof. It’s a good day to be sleeping!

I hope you got through to the service.

I just feel like I’m failing if I go backwards. I know in my head that that’s what happens but my mind doesn’t accept it. @Jynx I feel ashamed to admit if I’m going backwards. I’m ashamed to tell my psych about the ‘sandwich’. I will tell her though!

I was sitting in my truck last night listening to the radio station. They play some awesome songs and I caught myself a couple of times singing to the music. I stopped myself and it wasn’t very many times. But I little bit in me must have allowed it. I did sing a lot of songs in my head though. Which is new and my mind allowed me to do that.

It’s starting to feel less uncomfortable and more able to do. I don’t think that makes any sense. I am writing this before I go to sleep! 😜 I just hope I’m getting it right.

I guess it’s like comparing apples to oranges. It’s different for everyone. So do you feel it’s ongoing? That there isn’t an end? Or just that things change? Which makes new challenges?

@Captain24 today is feeling really heavy. I've done a load of washing and hung it out and done my dishes. I'm going to lay on my lounge and snuggle with Casper.

It's good you're getting some rain and it's a perfect day to be sleeping i reckon. Hoping you can get lots of rest sweet.

I did get through eventually but the person ended the chat on me saying I'm sorry I don't know how to help you.

Sorry it’s heavy @MissGremlin

I slept really well but have woken up tired. I could have stayed there for the next few hours! The rain is good. I’m watching my lawn turn green! It’s also growing though which means I’m going to have my lawn and mum and dad’s to mow! That’s not fun. It’s really good rain though. It’s the kinda rain the soaks into the ground and does what the farmers need instead of being so heavy and washing everything away. It’s going to make for a long night at work though.

Im sorry they couldn’t help you. What kind of help do you want?