I can’t cope

I hope things have settled a little bit for you and you can get a few zzzz tonight as well @MissGremlin

@Captain24 oh my stars, that's incredible!! What a phenomenal mark of your progress, and having someone who is so in your corner that she's moved to tears by it? Phenomenal!

Do you have any bday plans? Maybe something involving a beach...? 😋

Iron deficiency can be rough. Have you had your thyroid checked too? I think it is quite involved with our energy levels. I'm no medical professional though of course... but hey you can always ask!

I hope Pix is okay 🤞 Poor thing.

I'm doing okay, had a reasonably productive day today. Still gotta do the vacuuming but... all things in time haha. I always feel bad though cos of how much it scares the cats lol.

Someone is hanging around my place and I’m scared. Jett is terrified of the dark and of everything but he is outside barking for the second time. Barking near the gate where whoever it was came in and stole my jumper if the line. They won’t stop barking. Maybe it’s a cat. I don’t know. They are really upset though and don’t usually bark at this time of night. Something is happening out there. It scares me. I was sound asleep. They both would have just woken up all the neighbours. My heart is racing. I went out the first time and couldn’t see or hear anything but they are at it again. I’m scared that they are out there. What is happening? They have just come in now but are really upset by whatever just happened. Now I need to try and go back to sleep.

@Captain24 that sounds really scary sweet. I'm hoping it's just a cat or another animal out there and that Pix and Jett settle down so you can get some more sleep. Sending lots of love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

It was amazing that she cared so much @Jynx. She said I was easy to work with because she has never felt that I haven’t tried. She has never finished an appointment and thought to herself she didn’t give anything a go. She did say that there is still a long way to go but that I will get there with all the effort I’m putting in and the things I am changing and putting in to place. I couldn’t have done it without her though. You and @tyme and @AuntGlow and @MissGremlin have all contributed and been supportive as well. I just wish the end was in sight though.

Nah, just dinner with mum and dad. The beach is too far away. It’s 4 hours each way. My psych wanted me to something little for myself. I thought about taking myself out for breakfast but it’s a Sunday and everywhere will be packed. So I’m going to buy a salad roll that I love (the only salad roll that I’ll eat!) and I’m also going to have a bath.

I’ve got a stack of bloods that he wants done so I’m not sure what is in them. While I hope noting shows up, I’d kinda a like something little to explain the exhaustion.

Pix seems better. She is more herself and is a lot brighter. She is on a lot of pain meds though. The opioids finish this morning and the anti inflammatory finishes on Friday. The antibiotics finish next week and the acid urine tablets are ongoing. Hopefully they stop anymore UTI’s and bladder stones

Productive sounds good. The vacuuming can happen when you are ready. I’d feel bad too if it scared my dogs. Pix doesn’t care and Jett tries to bite it! I only vacuum a mat and my room, sometimes the front room but we don’t use it so it stays pretty good. The rest of the house is vinyl board so it’s more sweeping and washing.

Maybe today can be a rest day. Have you touched ‘that’ room yet?

I was awake for about an hour. They kept going out. I had to convince myself that they couldn’t get into my yard as the gate has a lock on it. I’m hoping it was a stupid cat. I’m glad it didn’t get into the yard if it was. The fences are too high and they can’t get out. @MissGremlin

How are you going?

@Captain24 I'm glad you were able to go back to sleep sweet. Also thankful that they didn't get into the yard.

Last night was really rough and things today are feeling heavy. I'm safe and taking things slowly and gently.

They did it a couple of times but not for as long. But it kept waking me up. @MissGremlin

Im sorry it was a hard night for you. I guess you didn’t get much sleep. I wish things would lighten for you even just a little bit. Is there anything I can do to help?

Slowly and carefully sounds like a good plan.

@Captain24 it's frustrating when you keep getting woken up. I'm sorry that it was a rough night for you, but we can take today slowly and gently together.

Today i really just need connection, my mind is not in a good place. I'm safe and I've just got home, I messaged the support worker to cancel today as I don't feel like I can cope with having her come out. I'm about to hop in the shower then I might try to pack things for Friday.

I’ll be around pretty much all day except for my physio appointment at 10:15. @MissGremlin. I’m really tired and struggling for words and the physio is going to talk to me! I know her from school.

Ask me questions about me and we will try and keep the chat as lighthearted as we can. Try and distract from the thoughts. But thoughts are welcome also. I hope that makes sense. I’ll try and think of things that I don’t think you know.