I can’t cope

She is late!

@Captain24 hoping the physio appointment goes ok sweet. Can understand struggling for words.

I'm really not good at asking questions, there's too much fear of saying something wrong. Driving back home before was really hard, fighting against thoughts and urges when you're exhausted makes things so much harder to manage. I'm safe, I've done the dishes, put a load of washing in, had a shower, hung the washing up and I'm having something to eat at the moment. Really feeling all over the place though, trying to get through to a crisis service.

Physio was good. I can walk after unlike last time. I’m back on full duties to see how that goes and I go back to the physio next week for discharge if all is going well. @MissGremlin

Im an open book. Nothing is to personal, wrong or stupid. Maybe it can help with anxiety. I’m trying to think of funny moments and maybe you’ll feel comfortable asking questions of those moments.

I 100% get the urges while driving! I drive 35-40 minutes to and from work on country rural road with lots of trees around.If you get my drift.

When you are exhausted the thoughts just take over and you have no control over them. It makes things so much harder. Can you have a rest today?

@Captain24 I'm glad you can walk sweet, hoping all goes well so you can be discharged.

I can't even calm down, I've been trying so hard to. My whole body is in a full on state of panic and it hasn't stopped since last night.

I get your drift, it's exactly what it was like this morning for me 😞.

The thoughts are very much taking over today and it's really scary, I have no energy to fight them. I'm safe for now and I'm laying on my lounge at the moment with Casper and a wheat bag to keep warm.

Hi @Captain24 @MissGremlin

I think reflecting on funny moments is a wonderful thing to do when you are feeling anxious and you are very right, when we are exhausted everything becomes that much harder to deal with, I hope you can have a rest @MissGremlin

Thankyou @Tolly, I'm really hoping that I can get some rest. The exhaustion is alot to deal with at the moment, but it's not just tiredness (I'm safe).

@MissGremlin thank you for letting us know you are safe. I am really hoping that you can get some revitalizing energy from having a good rest and be extra kind to yourself as well. 😍 some nice food or drink and snuggles on the couch.

I have a story that mum loves to tell @MissGremlin @Tolly

I was about 15 and I got undressed to get into the shower, so obviously I was naked. As I stepped in to turn the water on I saw a massive huntsman. It was huge. So I screamed and ran into the lounge room where my mum, dad and brother were. I was in a panic. I have a massive fear of spiders.

So mum asked dad to go and remove it know full well that he wouldn’t, he too is scared of spiders. So mum had to go and do it and I tentatively looked into the shower to make sure she did.

After I had the shower and got my pyjamas on and went back to the lounge room. Mum really enjoyed pointing it that I ran in there with my whole family sitting around…. Stark naked! In my hysteria I didn’t even think to put a towel around me! 😂 I was 15!

@Captain24 haha that's hilarious 😂.

I'm sorry but I'm going to hop off for a while. I just got in trouble from the mental health person that rang. They are going to close my case off cos there's nothing they can do to help me, this is exactly why my doctor didn't want to do a referral to them cos they do more harm than good. They are meant to be an acute service and put things in place for longer term support. I'm safe but feeling so hurt and let down, really feel like i don't matter to anyone. I'm going to try to have a nap.

@Tolly

Awww Poor @Captain24 LOL. I had to laugh...

What was your bro's reaction to see you there nudie rudie?

I don't think I can be tagged at the moment so I'll pop by later.

Sorry things are hard @MissGremlin