@Captain24 wrote:
I do feel like why would anyone want to talk to me. I don’t understand why the others have cared. It’s hard for me to see that. I just see it as I don’t want to talk to me or know me so why would anyone else.
I get why it would feel quite puzzling to you that people genuinely care about you and want to know you. It's kinda about how we have a natural bias to our own ways of thinking, and we can often hold others to the same internal standards we set for ourselves. If you feel this way about yourself, why would others feel any different?
Because they are different. They're different people, with different experiences, values, and internal standards. So even if you don't feel like you are worth talking to, other people may not agree 😉
@Captain24 wrote:
Are you saying I have attachment issues? That I get attached to MH workers?
It's not so much about attachment as it is about consistency of support. Attachment is natural and normal for human beings to do - I can imagine you have a sort of attachment to your psych because of how much she supports and understands you. But that is probably different to the attachment you may have to friends or family or even other MH workers. It's not a bad thing to feel a sense of attachment, I think it's more about setting expectations.
It is the nature of the mental health sector that supports can and will change - they may have to cease their support or change the way it is provided. What I'm encouraging you to reflect on is what your support needs are, and how you can still get them met - even when there's changes or barriers. It's an understanding that the consistency of engagement may not always be there, but still being able to tell yourself you will be okay - even if the kind of support you think you need is not available. And perhaps reminding yourself that that you do have the ability to connect to people - more than just the ones you pay!
I'm hearing you on feeling like there's been a 'carrot dangled'. I would definitely encourage you to make a submission to our Feedback page - especially about how important transparency is in helping you feel a sense of safety and stability. I know that there can be reservations about submitting feedback, like wondering if anyone will even see it (they will) and whether your concerns will be taken seriously, but I firmly believe that the more people who speak up, the more likely that change will occur.
I do want to acknowledge that change has its toll, and that it will take time to rebuild trust and safety. And who knows how things will develop in time? Changes are still being implemented all the time around here and much that is still in progress. Which is also another reason why it's worth speaking up about what you want this space to look like going forward 😊
I like that - 'Thanks brain but...' Has it been helpful? Reminds me of this aspect of IFS, where even our inner critic, inner saboteur, or inner voice of anxiety or depression, are still parts of us that deserve care, understanding, and acceptance. So like, you could mix the two... 'Thanks inner critic, I know that you're trying to avoid the pain of failure, but I'm going to give it a go anyway.' Or, 'Thanks anxious part, I know you just want to protect me from potential pain, but I think it's unlikely to happen the same way as it has in the past.'
I'm going to pocket that one! 💜
Sorry to hear you hurt your back hun, hope you're able to take it easy for a wee while 🤞
(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡
