I can’t cope

@Captain24 the night time ones, about 18 months now. Daytime I've had panic attacks for years.

It's alot of colours but means more detail to the pictures.

I've been working on another one aswell, usually do the custom one during the day and other other at night.

Did something happen to cause the night time ones? Not asking for details if you want to share that’s ok. @MissGremlin

My dad’s cousin has panic attacks quite often. She has agoraphobia and can only go some places where she feels safe or with a safe person.

It does mean more detail. I love these ones. Most of the time 😜. I’m going to place another order in about 2 months time or when I start the last one of this order.

@Captain24 I'm actually not even sure why they started. There was alot of trauma that happened about 4 years ago now but then this started about 18 months ago. But the trauma was 13 months of hell, 13 months of having to fight through court. Then after winning and getting back what I did, I was left to pick up the pieces of the damage done to others as a result.

I used to only go out with mum, she was my safe person. When everything fell apart then I had no choice but to go out alone, I struggle with it, i have panic attacks but I try to focus on just doing what I need to do and getting out of there. I have agoraphobia and social anxiety aswell.

Just curious, how much does one of the custom ones cost where you order from? Cos I want to get one of Casper but really want it to have proper detail compared to the cheap ones.

That sounds really rough @MissGremlin. Such a tough time for you. Have you been thinking about it in the last 18 months? With dad’s cousin she all of a sudden had panic attacks and stuff. She had a breakdown and her husband took her to a psychiatrist and he unblocked a lot of hidden memories. She knew they were there but not to the extent. It was a pretty serious DV situation with her ex husband. She has never fully recovered.

I have social anxiety as well. It’s pretty bad and hard to deal with. Hence going out shopping when no one is around. I don’t get panic attacks but I get anxiety attacks. Agoraphobia must be really hard. I think I was heading to that stage as I was getting a racing heart and had to breathe through it when I was leaving the house. That’s why my psych is making me go out everyday.

Mine for the 40x50 are around $50. I get the larger size as they can add more detail to them. I had trouble finding a photo of Jett because he is so black. But keep taking photos of Casper at random times and places to see if you can get any good ones. Post them to me and I’ll see which ones I think will work. Just when you are ready, not now obviously. Give it sometime to get good ones.

@Captain24 i mean it's hard not to think about, but things are also brought up in a regular basis so I'm constantly reminded of it. It's a situation that i really despise myself for allowing to happen. That's horrible about your dads cousin, I'm sorry she went through that. I've been through many DV relationships too various degrees and it's not something you ever fully recover from.

Social anxiety is hard. It's why I stick to going to the same places where I know the workers. Going out everyday is a good thing, I struggle and the longer I go without going out the harder it gets when I need to.

I have the ones of Casper in costumes which I'm thinking might be ok to use. I'll send them through at some stage so you can see.

I understand that you despise yourself for it. Are you a different person now? (Not being judgemental!) More on that when you respond. I’m sorry it keeps coming up. @MissGremlin

I couldn’t really imagine it. We were abused as children and I am still pretty controlled. Definitely mental abuse and I’m still suffering it now. But I couldn’t imagine what you guys have gone through.

If I don’t make myself go out then I do find it so much easier to just hide at home. But I told her I would work on it so I have to. I try to do what I say I will. They can’t help me if I don’t help myself and work with them and their suggestions. I want to get better so I have to listen.

No hurry just keep taking them and we will revisit it in a couple of weeks. I’m learning gradually what works and what doesn’t. The first one I did was of a black dog so I’ll find it and show you.

@Captain24 I'm going to save responding to this until later if that's ok. I have to go out soon so I'm trying to keep myself in an ok space.

I've ordered a black labrador one from shein but would love to actually get one of Casper.

Yeah that’s 100% fine. You don’t even need to respond. I don’t want to trigger you at all. @MissGremlin

That’s cute!

Im trying to find this photo!

@Captain24 i did a good job of triggering myself with it 😂. I do want to respond just wanted to keep the conversation lighter for now.

I have to pack up my diamond art to get ready to head out. Would much rather keep doing it than have to go out.

I found the photo! @MissGremlin

 I’ll still be sitting here doing it when you come back if you want to keep going.