I can’t cope

Can you use a range of services? I mean, have a range in your strategy kit? I'm sorry that you have experienced this. It sounds so hard to be pushed aside like that @MissGremlin

I'm glad you can still come to connect on the forums.

@tyme it's no secret how much problem I've had with different services. I only have one crisis service that I can reach out to. Now I have nowhere else to connect with other than the forums.

Are you part of the recovery club @MissGremlin ?

@tyme no I'm not. Honestly scared to cos i know it's only temporary and the thought of finding something good and then losing it is hard.

Yep.. the roast beef and it was awesome! I just feel like I’ve had a really good dinner that I enjoyed as apposed to just eating. @tyme

Pasta sounds good!

Thats a lot of people! How long were they all there for. I get the out of obligation but it makes me feel good that I did it and made a difference to someone. Do you feel the same? How long did it take to recover? 😂

I start the changes tonight. So we will see what happens. Can only hope. The Pdoc said that this is an episode with what I was describing. I knew that as it’s different to depression and I really dont have a lot of control over it and have to ride it out. But I am trying to take care of myself and accept that everything I did today was worth being proud of. Plus I took my time. I did have to force myself to scrub the shower though! 😜

Come round there is plenty left! It was perfect! @MissGremlin

I get the emotions with custom as they have a story behind them, whether it’s a good memory or a sad memory. When I did the Pix and Angel one it was sad as it was their last photo together but finishing it felt a bit like closure and a memorial.

Im not picking which one, I'm putting my hand in the box and grabbing one! There is 2 in each box so I’ll just do the one that was in the box with this one. I have no idea who it is.

I hope you can have something to eat even if it’s just some toast.

@Captain24 haha oh if only 😂. Hoping i can do a roast next weekend.

Yes cos of how the friendship is it brings up alot and then there's the memories of the beautiful cat. Can completely understand that closure.

Oohhh a mystery, that's exciting in itself.

I'm really not hungry, I've been feeling nauseous today.

Nice! I haven't had roast beef in ages... although I'm not one to LOVE red meat at all. I should eat more though @Captain24 !

I just having them over all at once was better than having a few over at a time but needing to deal with it over a few weekends (instead of one). One big HIT and then I recover. I think I took 2 days to recover lol.

As for the meds, makes sense. It's not because you are asking to feel this way. If it's a chemical thing, you can only ride it out, so good on you. I seriously admire how you can even get up each day, feeling so 'crap', and still make yourself do things. Well done to you.

Gotta be pleased about that!

I do t really eat a lot of red meat as such, I will have mince but I don’t think that counts! I love roast beef though! @tyme

You are so amazing all the things you do for people. Have you always been like that? Is it BPD related? 2 days isn’t very long after all that!

Yeah. It’s bipolar just doing what bipolar does. I have to live with this forever. I was on that webinar and those that spoke that are ‘recovered’ well as recovered as you can be still have relapses often. So there is no really escaping it just lengthening the time in between. Theres not anything I can do about it. Medication is suppose to helps get through it and stabilise it. Maybe these changes will work? Who knows? 🤷‍♀️

Things have to be done. I have changed everything around in my life to try and take care of myself better. I push myself when I get home from nightshift, just to wash all my work clothes and clean the house. Then I have a job list for my first day off with all the basics plus one thing that need to be done around the house, hence the shower. Next week it’s scrubbing all the dog hair out of the laundry!

After that my next couple of days are just whatever I want to do. Usually it’s just diamond art or have a nap. Just self care things. I do have to leave the house everyday though so I find something to get out for even if it’s 5 minutes. The last day before I go back to work, I do my washing from the week, clean the house, shower and wash my hair again (getting on top of that!) shop and food prep. That usually just takes the morning and then I can relax in the afternoon before heading off the next day. That is helping me with getting things done better. I find just one job list for the day and a half has me more able to do it knowing I don’t have to do anything for the next few days.

So I am really trying to do the best for myself that I can.

I think doing something nice and personal for someone is meaningful. Mum wants this diamond art and another one that I did for her birthday. I thought it was silly as I just did them but it feels really nice to give her a gift handmade with feeling. @MissGremlin

Have you eaten at all today? Is that why you feel off? Or is it something else?