I can’t cope

Thanks @Nala2022.

It’s all too much and I just want to give in.

I just had lunch and taken my night meds, anti inflammatory for my back and cold and flu tablets for my cold. That’s a lot of tablets.

Im going to go to bed and get a couple of hours sleep. At least I can go to bed earlier as mum has my dogs already. I e got nightshift tonight. It’ll be a long night and probably lots of down time to think. The thoughts come in heavy and fast at 3 in the morning when you aren’t doing anything. Especially when it’s only 2 degrees and I’m sure it’ll be worse with feeling so sick

I have that commitment so I should be safe. I’m a people pleaser and don’t like letting anyone down.

I’m really sorry things are feeling so heavy and overwhelming right now.

I can hear how much you’re just trying to get through the next stretch, especially with a night shift ahead and knowing those thoughts tend to get stronger when things are quiet.

It’s good that you’re able to get some rest now while your mum has the dogs. Try to take things one step at a time today/tonight and be as gentle with yourself as you can @Captain24

Hi @Captain24 😍 I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time today and also that you are not feeling well and in physical pain. It always makes it so much harder when you are struggling physically. Thank you for letting us know that you are remaining safe. I hope you can really rest and do something comforting until the physical pain subsides a bit for you. We are here and thinking of you.

Hey @Tolly

I got 5 hours sleep so that was good. Should help with getting through nightshift.

My cold feels worse. I sneeze all the time and one eye keeps watering and my nose doesn’t stop running! My back feels worse

now that I’ve been in the car. Plus it’s really cold and night even 3 in the morning yet.

That’s all without my mood. It doesn’t feel any better but I do have to work so I’m safe while I’m here as I would risk anyone else or do anything on site which would cause legal battles for my bosses. There is enough risk for them. Mining isnt a safe job and those trucks are big.

I’m about to head in and see how I go. Hopefully I can work out some way to keep my thoughts at bay.

Im going to sneak my phone in so maybe I can get on here a little bit

Hey @MissGremlin

I hope you are ok? I’m thinking of you

Hey @Captain24 how you travelling this evening?

Alas, it does suck that we don't have as much capacity to sit with members these days, especially later in the evenings, as they're one of the busiest times.

I do applaud you for taking the initiative to reach out though, I think it's always good to seek out connection and distraction in such meaningful ways, especially when we're feeling so overwhelmed!

Maybe next time you could tag another member, or see who's floating around the social spaces? Even if you don't want to post in the daily social threads you could still scope out if someone is around who might be able to sit with you.

Sorry to hear you're getting sick, that sucks soooo much 😞

I’ve just gotten home from work @Jynx

I know that you guys aren’t allowed to anymore and I am sorry that I asked. I was also wondering how your life is going and what’s been happening. We have gotten to know each other over the years and now it’s feels a little like strangers in the night.

Im not sure anyone would want to talk to me. I’m not a good person to talk to. I even often wonder if that’s why things have changed with the ability to chat. Is it my fault. Am I too much. Am I not worthy. All those kind of thoughts pop into my head.

My cold is feeling really bad and my house is freezing with no air con. I’m hoping that they can fix it on Friday when they come. The cold house is not helping my cold. My body is just aching. I did get to rest last night though as there was 2 of us doing my job and there wasn’t enough work for 1! I just dozed in and out. The thoughts were loud and strong but there was nothing that I could do about them. I didn’t have the energy to do ‘thanks brain’ from ACT.

Im going to bed now as mum kept the dogs over night as it’s way too cold for Jett in here. He wouldn’t have had my body heat to sleep. I will put a jumper on him when he does sleep with me if the aircon isn’t fixed.

Im feeling really down and out. Like the wind has been taking out of my sails. I feel lost and alone. I just feel really broken and disheartened with life. It’s like I just can’t catch a break. I thought I was coming out of freeze and it’s really scary and hard but I’m now not sure if I’m back in it again. I just don’t know and so lost and confused with it all

My cold is so much worse since I woke up. Plus it’s a feels like 4 degrees outside and the wind is icy cold. Imagine what it’s going to be like at 3 in the morning. So cold.

Mu back is really hurting again. I can barely walk. I’m struggling to breathe between the cold and back pain. I guess it’s a distraction from what is going on in my mind. But it’s not helping my will to live.

I really don’t want to go to work but I have to. It’s just not an option to call in sick. I can get some sleep on Saturday I guess. Hopefully with a working air conditioner that doesn’t cost me too much to fix.

It all feels too overwhelming at the moment.

@MissGremlin

I hope you are ok? I’m thinking of you, even if you are able to pop in and like this post if you can? I’d just like to know. No pressure of course as sometimes it’s just too hard.

Just want to let you know that we're sitting with you @Captain24 💙

I'm sorry to hear things have been really heavy - it sounds overwhelming and exhausting, especially with being in pain and being under slept.

Hoping you are able to catch up on sleep on Saturday and do something that relaxes you - maybe diamond art, and cuddling with Pix?

~ @Honeymoon