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I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor23 Dec 2022, 9:36 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

It’s ok to not answer this question @tyme!!!

Are you on any meds? If so is it to help with mood fluctuations?

Feel free to not answer

In response to: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2022, 9:41 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@tyme I think my CPTSD has made my depression worse. My brain is very sensitive to experiencing mood episodes, stress isn't going to help and can trigger episodes. Depression and CPTSD feed into each other. I could see how BPD would feed depression too.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator23 Dec 2022, 9:49 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Yes, I am on meds. I take an extended release anti-psychotic - not because of psychosis, but because of it's other affects such as stabilising mood swings, reducing anxiety, increase energy, and most of all, support with sleep @Captain24 I also take an anti-depressant - I used to be on the max dose, but am now on a much lower dose.

Both meds have worked so well hand in hand that I don't want to change anything. But really, my dr are supportive if I want to come off the meds. My thinking is, because I'm doing so well on them, I may as well stay on it for a bit longer.

I take my med reductions VERY slowly. It can be done in a few months, but I've opted to do it over the course of a few years.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator23 Dec 2022, 9:51 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Yes, most definitely. For me, the CPTSD feeds the depression which feeds the BPD. I never even recognised I had CPTSD until my psych explained it to me. Even then, I didn't want to accept my circumstances as trauma @creative_writer - but later realised I had to if I wanted to recover.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor23 Dec 2022, 10:00 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Thank you for sharing that @tyme

Im on a mood stabiliser and anti-depressant/anti anxiety and now an anti psychotic/anti depressant .

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2022, 10:02 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@tyme I think it's good to take reductions slowly. My parents want me to get to the stage where I can reduce my meds, and eventually come off them. I need to stabilise before I can reduce my meds.

I feel like a lot of mental illnesses just feed on each other.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor23 Dec 2022, 10:04 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 finding the right combination is really tricky for bipolar since you often need multiple meds.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor23 Dec 2022, 10:04 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @tyme

I guess you are heading off now. Are you on tomorrow or are you off now? I know you don’t do Christmas but I want to wish you a very happy new year. Thank you for all your help and guidance during the last 6 months!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator23 Dec 2022, 10:09 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

No, I won't be on tomorrow @Captain24 . I will be back in the first week of Jan.

I've really appreciated connecting with you.

I'm so glad you have trusted me to be part of your journey.

Please take care.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor24 Dec 2022, 10:13 am AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I’m feeling really flat today. I have absolutely no motivation. The problem is though is that I have so much to do for tomorrow. All I want to do is go back to bed. I’m trying so hard but I feel like I just can’t do it.

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