I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 , yes I do get 'hypos' which later turned out to be emotional dysregulation. When I learnt to better regulate my emotions, I have FAR fewer hypers and hypos.

I remember once I was soooo dysregulated that I escaped from a psych facility and ran for hours without stopping. The energy, adrenaline, etc was really taking me to dangerous places. In the end, the police had to track me down. It was also late at night.

I've been down a very very dark and dangerous path @Captain24 @creative_writer - but I'm so relieved I'm on a different path now.

Precisely @creative_writer - hypomania is not part of BPD, however the behaviours can be mistaken for hypomania.

The first day of my hypo can be risky @tyme @creative_writer. Then I settle a little bit I’m full of energy, buzzing, not needing much sleep and really talkative and fast talking. I’m friendly, outgoing and great to be around. I have all the confidence in the world. This lasts for a few days.

Hearing you @Captain24 !

By the way, NO ONE out there would realise I have BPD because i am the most outgoing, 'social', confident person out there. Even my own sister doesn't believe it. I told her I was so nervous and anxious to go to a wedding, and she couldn't believe it.

However, once someone gets close to me, they will realise what my real fears and anxieties are!

• @tyme I think even PTSD can be mistaken for hypomania. It’s weird. I’ve had times where I’m like, am I in a mixed mood? Or am I hyperaroused plus depressed? I feel like I’ve become more predominately depressed with my mood episodes over time. I can get hypo mania and mixed episodes into control with meds, routine, appropriate light exposure. But sometimes I do find myself slipping. But my depressions are very stubborn.

I also talk really really fast @Captain24 when I'm in that state. Once someone said, "Boy, you talk so fast, it's like a bullet being shot out!" I didn't even realise I spoke fast...

True @creative_writer . There are so many interrelated symptoms, and hence a lot of confusion.

The bipolar therapy I had didn't make an ounce of difference, but the BPD therapy I had certainly did make a world of difference.

Looking back, I can see all the mixed signs and symptoms that were mistaken for other things.

One of my psychs even wanted me to have ECT for the depression! I'm so glad I didn't. Because now I know it was the BPD that was causing the depression.

No stress @creative_writer - I can grasp the general gist of what you are sharing.