I can’t cope

It’s getting really really heavy and intense @MissGremlin. I’m still laying in bed with my babies. Just doom scrolling and dozing. I really should get up and eat something. But being in here is my safest option.

That makes sense. You have found the table so that’s a good thing and progress. Is it achievable to do just a small little thing each day and gradually add to that so that it’s not so overwhelming.

@Captain24 I'm sorry it's getting intense sweet. Would it help to read through what your psych emailed you or maybe putting something on to cook and doing some diamond art? Sending you hugs sweetheart, you're not alone ❤️.

I found a tiny part of the table. I'm really not sure how achievable it's going to be, but I'm going to at least try and see how I go with it. Hoping to try and do a little bit tomorrow so we'll see i guess.

I’ve just put a pot of water on to boil to have pasta @MissGremlin

I might try some diamond art or maybe watch some tv. I have a few episodes of home and away to watch.

Yeah, I get what you meant when you found the table. I say that too when I have a pile of stuff everywhere. I’ll do what I can to support you from over here.

What are your plans for tonight? You must be about to start your bedtime routine.

@Captain24 so proud of you for getting up and putting water on to make pasta. Watching some TV or doing diamond art sounds perfect.

Thankyou sweet, I'm hoping i can manage it otherwise I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the inspection.

No plans other than sitting in bed and either doing my diamond art or making lucky stars. I'm actually almost done with my routine so sort of just chilling until I can hop into bed.

I haven’t turned the tv on yet. I’m just sitting here looking at a blank screen. That’s a pretty bad warning sign. I don’t want to be up, I just want to be in bed. @MissGremlin

It’s a lot to take on. Inspections are really hard and stressful at the best of times. Without added pressure. I use to fear them. But at the same time I struggled to keep my house clean. The stress was intense.

Im glad you are ready and could just cruise through it. I really like the thought of just laying in there. I hope your diamond art brings you some peace tonight. I’m so glad you have both though. It’ll be a mostly diamond art day for me tomorrow while I have mums dog.

@Captain24 hmmm, maybe turn the TV on and see how it feels sweet. I get just wanting to be in bed and you've not had much sleep since finishing work. Hopefully once you've had dinner and fed the dogs you can hop into bed and get a good night's sleep.

It really is alot to take on. Inspections are tough at any time let alone when mental health comes into play. I cancelled my last one in December cos there's no way I could manage so I know i need to push through somehow to get things done this time.

I'm hoping I can do a bit of diamond art but even looking at it right now, it's just not feeling ok. Thinking it will be another night of making stars while listening to music or watching a TV show.

I’ve just eaten, taken my meds and gotten back into bed for an hour. @MissGremlin Im in a really bad way.

I know Jynx is not talking to me but I was hoping tyme would be around tonight but I don’t know if I can stay up that long. I miss chatting with her but I’m always just so tired.

Maybe the fact that you have to get it done may help? It’s a lot of added pressure but for me that pressure pushes me. I’m not you though.

Tell me to mind my own business.. but why does your ex do the lawn? That sounds really hard to have them around.

I get the not feeling ok. I did look at mine and just walked past it. I don’t have the ability right now.

@Captain24 I'm here sweet, other than just being here it's there anything else I can do to help?

I'm not sure if anyone is around tonight, it's hard when they often don't come on until later.

Knowing i have to get things done helps to a degree but also puts alot of pressure on me and then I crumble.

I've just sat in bed, will see if I can do some of it if not I'll be making stars.

There’s nothing anyone can do @MissGremlin. I was hoping my psych could help but she said I just have to ride it out. She did laugh and then say it’s easy for her to say when she is sitting in an office and I’m the one trying to live with it. It was quite funny.

It doesn’t matter, I don’t really deserve their time anyway.

I find the same, that I crumble but for me it’s usually after the event. I had a lady have a heart attack at the store I use to work in. I had to sit with her and follow the 000 workers instructions while waiting for the ambos to turn up. She stopped breathing so I had to start CPR. The ambos arrived and took over. I had to do an incident report and lots of other stuff. I was waiting to find out if she lived or not. Got a call to say the only reason she was alive was what u had done. Then I broke into a million pieces. Once it had all settled I just lost it.

I am reading and I think I got it but I’m really hoping I am wrong for your sake. That would make for an especially hard day.

Im glad you have made it to bed. You must have a lot of lucky stars?

@Captain24 having to ride it out is so tough. It's also one of those things that's easier said than done. Well just know that I'm here, to listen and support however I can ❤️.

You do deserve their time sweet.

Oh wow, you did incredible for that lady. Can completely understand crumbling after though. I used to do volunteer ambulance work and country fire service so I used to come across alot of different things. In the moment of things happening you have adrenalin going through you so when things have settled that's when it all starts to hit.

I wish you were wrong. It makes for a very hard day.

I have quite a few but I don't rush with making them and I'm often chatting here or with others whilst I'm making them.