I can’t cope

@Captain24 I'm glad you slept well. Haha wondering what the noise was when the alarm went off 😂. That's a bit chilly so I'm glad you're rugged up and have a jacket.

Hoping work goes ok for you sweet, will be thinking of you.

Today's been hard, I did manage to nap for a bit but my head is pounding. I just got back from the shops not long ago and I'm having an iced coffee at the moment.

Just thought I’d take this!

It was a bit funny. @MissGremlin

Im really glad you had a nap. I’m actual a little relieved that you did. Just think we were sleeping at the same time!

Good work getting to the shops, I know how hard that can be on a day like today.

I hope you a savouring the iced coffee and enjoying it slowly. Taking in the taste and smell.

Im going to snake my phone in tonight so I have a timer incase I sleep. The trick will have a camera on me though and there isn’t much service, plus when I’m in the service area I forget I have my phone! 😂 but if I remember and have time and in that zone I’ll try and message you. No promises though. I do think of it at times when I’m not in that zone though.

@Captain24 still waiting for the picture to load..

Hehe yes we were sleeping at the same time, it was really needed after last night's crappy sleep or lack there of.

The shops were hard but I had no choice as I forgot to get bird seed yesterday and if he runs out if seed he gets really loud 😂.

The iced coffee was nice, didn't last long though 😂.

Just don't get caught with your phone, don't want you getting in trouble 😂. Secretly hoping you can have a chance to message cos I do love hearing from you but never any pressure ☺️.

I'm nervous about meeting support worker person tomorrow. Not sure what they're going to be like, what they can help with etc.

Oh that reminds me I got a message earlier to say that my diamond art should be here on Wednesday ☺️

@Captain24 yay the picture just came through. Such pretty colours for the sunset 😍

I’m sure it was hard @MissGremlin. But he needed it and you were a good birdie mum and went out for him even though you didn’t want to.

Sorry I didn’t message. I was too scared but only in range for 5 minutes at a time. I was going to find a hidey hole near the service but they were running there so I couldn’t.

I really hope it goes well for you today. I’m hoping you can figure out something together that works for you both

YAY… it’s only tomorrow that they will arrive now! I know how exciting that is and waiting at the door until they arrive! I hope they are early for you. Then the decision as to which one to start! I was just going to pull one out of the box and start but mum wants this one done so the next one will be whatever the other one in that box is! No decisions needed 😂

I hope you managed even a little bit of sleep and last night wasn’t quite so hard for you.

Im only around until 8:35 but I’ll try and respond this arvo if I have time.

I do want to know how you are feeling though.

@Captain24 i really didn't want to hear him squawk, it's bad enough he talks back to me 😂.

It's completely ok, i really was worried about you getting in trouble 😂.

Thankyou sweet, I really hope it goes ok and that they can help in some way.

It even says that they may arrive today. I ordered some more the other day but one of them got refunded and it was a stitch one 😞. Haha oh I love that idea of just pulling one out of the box. There's one i do want to do first but it's in the second lot i ordered not the first. Hoping you finish the one for mum soon so you can start a new one.

I barely slept, it was a tough night but I'm up and ready. I'm really just anxious for meeting this person today and also getting overwhelmed cos of what's happening here at the moment (I'm safe). After meeting the support worker this morning I'm hoping to get some rest.

How are you feeling sweet?

Hahaha my rosella use to talk too! @MissGremlin

Yeah, I’m scared of getting in trouble but if I find a hiding space I will.

ooohhhh today would be good. Maybe you can order the stitch one next time. It’s a shame you couldn’t get it though.

Im sorry it was a hard one again with very little sleep. I would be anxious too! It’s a lot of unknowns. I hope you get some rest.

Im really tired. Feeling really deflated and struggling with social connections at work. I was lucky, my second break was on my own so I didn’t have to try. I even knew an answer in trivia and didn’t respond. I just couldn’t. After the first break, I drove a lap of the pit and then just sat from 1:00-4:00. I was just tired and exhausted. Those random thoughts of what I wish for kept popping into my head. Not all the time but just it just felt like a jolt. It’s hard to work with the main thought.

@Captain24 I'm about to head out so I will reply when I get back.

Hoping you can get some good rest before work tonight, will be thinking of you sweet. Sending love and hugs ❤️.

@Captain24 i reckon Rosella's have attitude 😂.

It's out for delivery so will come today ☺️. I'll try to order a stitch one next time, order has to be $49 to qualify for free postage so I'll wait until next pay.

Meeting with support worker went ok, a mental health person came out aswell so it was 2 people which felt a bit overwhelming. I broke down in tears when trying to talk about things and then went into shut-down cos I felt embarrassed and angry with myself. I'm safe and curled up on my lounge with Casper now.

I'm sorry you're feeling tired and deflated sweet. Social connections are really tricky to manage espescially when we aren't feeling our best. The random thoughts are so hard to sit with, I'm sorry they pop in at times and it's understandable that it's hard when you're working.

Thinking of you sweetheart ❤️. We'll probably be sleeping at the same time again, I'm exhausted and hoping I can nap.

Did it arrive??? @MissGremlin

Im glad you broke down. I know it’s hard and embarrassing and that’s how I’ll feel with my psych tomorrow, but you broke down in front of the exactly the right people. They now see that you are not ok and need some help. Maybe nothing will come of it but maybe it will.Im a really sorry about how you are feeling about it though. Just give it a chance. Maybe it’ll just be someone to be able to talk too.

Its ok. It is what it is. I’ll be finished at 8 in the morning and then have a couple of days off. I just have to live with it. It’s becoming really too much. Especially effecting me at work but no one notices so that’s ok but I’m going there and doing my job safely so that’s all that really matters. The countdown is on though until I finish.

I hope we were sleeping at the same time! That would mean you got some rest!

How are you feeling now?