I can’t cope

Sorry about the overwhelm. @MissGremlin. It does get hard at times.

I don’t know how to help you through that. What is your reasoning by not liking anyone there? Mind you I don’t really like any here either!

The pharmacist is great. There have been times where I have just taken a strip out of the box of meds and left the rest there. Then when I was through the worst of it and collected the whole box she checks in with my before handing them over!

Im glad you got it finished!

Thats so cute. Mine are both asleep right now on separate beds which is unusual. I haven’t heard from the vet yet!

Im starting to feel really rough. Things are starting to slide. I keep focusing on the diamond art but those thoughts are breaking through.

@Captain24 the overwhelm is hard.

It's not that I don't like anyone as such, it's just that I have so much anxiety around having people coming into my space cos of things that have happened.

I'm really glad you've got a good pharmacist and the strength you have to recognise when you need to only take a strip of the meds is incredible.

It's almost dinner time for Casper which is why he's active now. He's sitting next to me giving me his paw as if to say 'mum is it dinner time yet' 😂. Hoping you hear from the vet soon.

I can hear those thoughts are breaking through. What can we do to see if we can push them to the back so they don't get too out of control? I'm here for you sweet ❤️.

Sorry. I’ve been on the phone. @MissGremlin

That makes sense. I don’t like people invading my safe space. My place is mine and the dogs and they don’t like it when people come here either.

Pix is doing really well. We have to up her insulin 1/2 an international unit. The hard thing as there is no halves marked on the syringe! We must be getting pretty close to the right dose. Unless anything happens she goes back in 4-6 weeks and has the test done again.

Did Casper enjoy his dinner?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to end up like last night. It was really scary. I’m still sitting and doing diamond art. It is in my safety plan though.

He is never far away!

@Captain24 that's ok sweet.

It's hard when I have people here to do things with the house and I have to put Casper away cos he gets so excited, then I struggle cos I don't have him with me so I'm more anxious.

I'm glad to hear Pix is doing well. Oh that's hard, hopefully it's pretty easy to guesstimate it 😂. Fingers crossed that maybe this is the right dose.

He did enjoy his dinner, but he always does.

No last night got very scary for you. Glad you're still doing your diamond art. What are you having for dinner tonight sweet?

Awww look at him, he's so sweet ❤️

I have to lock the dogs away because they just bark constantly and Jett bites. Then I feel bad because they are in their own home and have to be locked away. @MissGremlin I sit there just thinking ‘when are you going to leave’ I just want to let my dogs be in their comfort space.

I’ll see when I start it tonight! 😂 there is a decent sized gap between 3 and 4 so it won’t be accurate everytime but it will be close.

Im thinking just the tuna and rice that I packed for lunch. I don’t want to do anything and that takes 90 seconds. I’m scared to stop my diamond art though.

@Captain24 yes I feel the same when Casper is locked away. I have a handyman that wants to come out to do work but it's going to be big jobs and I don't want Casper to have to be locked away for that long.

It's tough having the big gap in between 3 and 4 but as long as you get it close then it should be ok.

The rice and tuna sounds perfect. I get being scared to stop the diamond art. I'm here with you sweet, you've done so well today and I'm proud of you ❤️.

I want to get a guy in to do some work as well. But I’m worried about the dogs. If I do do it I could possibly take them to mums. @MissGremlin

We will do our best and hope that when we redo this test it goes to an even number. To jump just half a unit means we must be close.

It’s been a rough start to the day but sitting here doing this with you has helped a lot. Thank you. I really appreciate it. I stopped last night and look at where it ended up. Maybe if I just keep going it won’t get so bad. I am scared.

Calling in sick is sometimes the best possible choice we can make @Captain24 proud of you!

Sorry to hear things are feeling rough right now. I'm glad you're doing things from your safety plan and doing what you can to keep safe 💜

What's the best part of diamond art for you both? @MissGremlin

Thanks @Jynx. I was the right decision. I don’t think I would have actually made it to work. I had gotten up, had breakfast and packed my bag. It took so much to do that and then when I went to get dressed I just couldn’t do it.

Im trying to keep it from getting to the level it got last night. It scared me a lot!

I like the monotony of it right now. You just stick the right coloured dot on the right spot. There is no thinking involved but it’s a massive distraction. It’s all I’ve pretty much done since 8:30. But at the end you get a nice picture that you have put together. It’s good watching each section that I do come to life. I don’t look at the big picture until it’s finished though, that’s my reward for the many hours of work.

@Captain24 it would be good if you can take the dogs to your mums if you do have someone come out. I unfortunately don't have that option.

It would be much better to be on an even number so hopefully you can get that.

I'm glad it's helped to just sit and do diamond art together and you're so welcome sweet. I'm sorry i actually dozed off for a bit. How's things feeling for you at the moment sweetheart?