I can’t cope

I finished off my list, floors are vacuumed washed and swept. The house is clean. I just have to wait for the washing to dry so I can iron it. I’m not going back to the supermarket, mum and going to get it for me tomorrow. @MissGremlin

I just laid down for the last 2 hours. I dozed on and off but mostly just laid with my eyes shut and my white noise going. Then the dogs got up and started barking! My delivery finally arrived!

Don’t ya hate that! 😜. The ‘ I haven’t seen you in ages’ here’s my life story!

I hope your counsellor appointment was ok and helped get some stuff off your chest.

How are you feeling?

@Captain24 you've done amazing to get everything done sweet and I'm glad that your mum will get what you forgot for you tomorrow.

Even just laying resting is good even if you only dozed off occasionally. Yay for the delivery finally arriving ☺️.

The worst part was that I couldn't even remember him 😂.

The appointment went ok, she's really proud of some things that I've been working on. She said that she felt lighter after our session today cos she knows how hard things have been for me. She's also pushing for another service that's linked in with them to give them another chance to support me, they were meant to last time but failed so she's doing another referral but making sure that I don't get let down again.

Things are feeling lighter at the moment so I'm trying to enjoy it while it lasts.

Have you started working on one of the new diamond art ones?

I needed rest @MissGremlin. I could just go back there now.

That’s funny, it happens to me a lot or they know mum or dad and think that I should know them!

Im glad it went ok and you feel a little lighter. Hopefully she can get you in this time. I really want that for you.

Yeah, I’ve started the one for mums birthday. I just realised how much bigger a 40x50 is over a 30x40! 😂

Mu psych emailed me back with a huge list of reminders and all talked in the way of a cyclone! If anyone read that email they would have no idea what is going on!

This pic is from my back yard.

This pic is when you  walk out the front door and look right.

@Captain24 i can understand that need to rest.

Today when I went to the shops I saw 3 people that I knew and had to say hello to in the space of 2 minutes just walking in 😂.

She wants me to have the right support so it's nice to have someone that cares enough to help me get that. Thankyou sweet, it means alot that you care so much ❤️.

Oohhh yay for starting the one for your mum. I'm yet to do anything bigger than 30×40cm but I'm looking at the 40cm side of the one I did and imagining an extra 10cm on to that and I'm like yeah that's alot of extra dots 😂.

I'm really glad your psych emailed back. Is it helpful to have the reminders? Haha as long as you understand that's all that matters.

You have such a stunning view from where you are sweet 😍.

That’s why I try and go early. There isn’t many people around and I don’t have to see or talk to anyone! @MissGremlin

Im glad she cares. That’s so good.

When I finish it I’ll take a photo with the smaller one next to it. There is a huge difference!

Sorry @MissGremlin I pressed the wrong button.

Yeah they are good reminders and helpful. Something that I can look back on and reread to help me through.

I did have a better view but they built a house right behind me!

@Captain24 it doesn't matter what time I go, i always see someone 😂.

It's a weird feeling to have someone that's actively trying to get me support.

I look forward to seeing it and the size difference ☺️. The one I'm working on at the moment is only 30×30cm.

I'm glad they are good reminders and that you've got them there for when things might get a bit tough. You've got this sweet ❤️.

It's a shame that they built a house right behind you but it's still a beautiful view.

I can imagine it’s weird, even just someone caring enough to try @MissGremlin I find it weird that my psych cares about me so much.

She always rights me really helpful emails on the rare times that I reach out. She knows I’m doing it tough if I try for an extra appointment.

The view use to go right across my backyard. But the view I still have can never be built out. It’s to the south though so there is no sunsets or sunrises over it. Which is a shame. East and west all you can see is houses.

How is your diamond art coming along?

@Captain24 yes it's very weird to have someone care enough to try. It makes such a difference when you have people that genuinely care.

I'm so glad your psych is so supportive and that she takes time to write helpful emails for you. I'm proud of you for reaching out when you could feel things getting bad.

It's a shame you don't get the sunrise and sunset view, I don't get it where I am either. I've never really looked around my area during the daytime to see what I can see. But there's just houses really and an oval across from me.

I'm about half way with my diamond art but I've packed it up for a bit.

It does make a difference. @MissGremlin

Thanks… I think it was for the best to contact her. The appointment is at 10am on Wednesday though so I warned her she may get me at my worst. I get home from nightshift at 8 that morning and I’m usually in bed by then! At least my house will be clean before I go to bed!

Unpacking at bed time or doing something else?

Im just sitting here doing it but I can’t get the thoughts out of my head. They come in loud and clear randomly.