I can’t cope

@Captain24 that would be good if they could extend it. Also glad that your interest rates aren't as high as others and that paying it fortnightly reduces the time of the loan.

It's definitely hard when it's a struggle to focus. You are so close to being finished whether it's today or tomorrow it will feel so satisfying to see it complete.

They are horrible, the soreness can last a while as everything gets really tense. Plus then there's the brain fog that lingers and leaves me feeling really out of it. It can help to know how long things take to do cos sometimes our brains see it as a huge and long task when it's often not the case. But still when we aren't feeling the best even the smallest tasks can feel like too much.

Casper isn't hard to bath and I just let him dry naturally after I've towel tried him. I just bathe him in the bathtub, it's easy for him to get in and out of and I have a little shower head type attachment on there. That sounds awesome having your laundry tub to use for them.

I brush my teeth everyday but not shower but that's mainly cos I can't afford the water cost.

I think they would as it’s to help indigenous people to get into their own homes but it’s a while away so I’ll see what happens. @MissGremlin

It will. I don’t really look at it as I’m doing it. I just focus on each section. I don’t see the whole until it’s done then I can see how good it looks and it’s a reward at the end.

It can still be really hard but I just try and focus on the fact that it’s only a little bit of time.

My dogs hair dries terribly if it’s not blow dried! They are long haired chihuahuas! Plus they get done everytime I’m on a break even during winter so it’s too cold for them and I want them to stay use to the hairdryer in summer.

Bath tub is good. I never thought of that. The shower attachment is the best. Mum has one for her dog. The lady that helped with all my bathroom, laundry and kitchen stuff was my best friends mum. On the laundry tap she wrote ‘Pixies shower’ on my paperwork for the builder!

Is water expensive? I only use town water for the kitchen as the rest is on tank. I do have to switch the pump over though when the tank is empty and it must be close right now with not having any rain. I was in the shower one day and the water just stopped. I had to run outside in a towel and switch the pump over! 😂

@Captain24 it's good that they have ways to help indigenous people get into their own homes. Yes it's still a while away.

That's the same for me, just focus on each section. But it's so good to see the finished picture at the end.

Yes it can still be very hard but knowing that it takes 'x' amount of time can help.

Hehe oh I can just imagine their hairs looking crazy if they dried naturally 😂. Definitely good to keep them used to the hair-dryer, i don't even own one 😂. I don't bath Casper during winter unless it's absolutely necessary, but he's inside all the time unless i take him out and even then he's supervised.

Haha awww i love how she put it as Pixies shower on the paperwork, that's so cute. The shower head attachments make it so much easier.

Well I think water is expensive but I think most things are expensive 😂. My bill is about $150 for 3 months but that's only for supply and usage. Oh I remember running out of rain water when I lived in the farm and you'd have to switch over to the other tank. Hopefully it doesn't run out when you're mid shower again 😂.

It would go everywhere! Jetts does anyway as he has really soft and silky hair plus he won’t stand still and through himself around on the washing machine! Pixies hair is better to dry but if it’s not properly dried it sticks out in patches. @MissGremlin

That does sound like a lot. Mines around $50 but I do use the tank and it waters my lawns as well. I’ve run out of hot water in the shower too and had to go and switch the gas bottles over. They are out the front of the house though! 😂

Jett is sitting in the dining chair at the table. The one that’s closest to me! He’s a little bit cute.

I was just talking to mum and she is going to try and find her pattern for dog coats and I’m going to make some for the dogs. Jett is so skinny but really long and I can’t really find any long enough to go all the way down his back. So I’m going to make some for all 3 of them.

@Captain24 haha why am I not surprised with Jett, he's such a character 😂. Pix having patches that stick out would be funny. Can completely understand why you dry them 😂.

Considering I really don't seem to use much water it is alot. Oh when the gas bottles run out, yep been there too 😂. Where i used to live we had 42 acres of land, it was amazing, there was about 5 houses on the whole street or dirt road. So you never had to worry about being close to anyone or hearing your neighbours.

Aww he's so sweet, Casper is snuggled up next to me.

Ooohhh making some coats for the dogs would be so cool to do. I find that alot of the ones at the shops don't fit Casper properly. The front legs are fine but the back legs just don't allow for enough room. Not that he needs to wear anything, he just has fun dressing up 😂.

I'm struggling to manage my thoughts at the moment and have lots of tears, I'm really worried about an online friend that's suicidal, the fear of losing someone else that i love is too much for me to sit with. I'm safe but thinking I'm going to try to sleep to switch off for a bit. I'm sorry sweet.

Sorry about your friend, that must be really worrying and scary to sit with. @MissGremlin

I get the fear of losing someone else. You have been through a lot recently.

Sleep sounds like a good idea. I hope it helps you even if it’s just a little bit.

It’s all ok, I understand. No need to be sorry.

@Captain24 it really is so worrying, I hate feeling helpless cos I can't be there with her.

Not sure how I'd cope with losing someone else or if I'd even be able to.

Thankyou sweet, I'm just laying here cuddling Casper. I'm trying to stop the tears from flowing, everything just feels so heavy (I'm safe).

How far away does she live? @MissGremlin

I get the helpless feeling. I feel the same with you. I wish I could be there for you even just a day.

Let the tears flow. It’s ok to cry. Even though I told my psych that I won’t! 😂 Just lay and snuggle him. If that’s what you need and all you can do then that’s ok.

I do understand the heavy feeling I even used it to help describe how I’m feeling with her yesterday. It’s so heavy that you just feel like you can’t move.

Im here with you

@Captain24 she's in Melbourne, we will be meeting in may when I go over there.

Awww sweet, you don't know how much it means to hear that. Thankyou and I feel the same way. I might not be able to be there physically but i will always be here as much as I possibly can be ❤️.

There's no stopping these tears, it's not even possible to hold them back. As much as it's uncomfortable for me and i struggle with not feeling like I'm in control, right now I just have to try to accept it.

Yes that heavy feeling where your whole body feels like lead. It's honestly horrible but some people don't understand it, I wish we didn't have to know what that feeling was like.

Thankyou for being here sweet, i appreciate it so much ❤️.

That will be nice @MissGremlin.

so you haven’t met before? Is it just texted base or zoom kinda thing?

It’s ok, it’s just the way I feel. There is only about 3 people that I would like to actually meet!

I can be hard. I cried for 3 hours one day and just couldn’t stop. I didn’t like it but it was needed and I had a pounding headache afterwards. The dogs didn’t know what to do so they just laid in the bed with me and Jett tried to lick the tears of my face.

Just let it be. Apparently it’s a good release to get your emotions out.

I think my psych gets it. She has adhd and I think she has had previous problems in the past. ADHD can also cause depression.

Im here for you all day today and all day tomorrow.