I can’t cope

@Captain24 it's definitely challenging at times that's for sure.

It's ok sweet, i hope you can get a good sleep. Really hoping tomorrow is a better day for us both. Sending lots of love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

I told my psych how early I have to go to bed every night and she was a little concerned. But didn’t say anything just that I was listening to my body but 8:30 is a bit early. I told her I can’t stay awake past then. She has put it down to depression. I did tell her that I had a bed day yesterday and she said that that was ok just not to make a habit of it. @MissGremlin

I did sleep for a couple of hours after my appointment and thought that would keep me awake but obviously not. I did do a bit this morning though. Weeding the garden took a lot of effort to get me out there even though it only took half an hour. Putting fuel in my car caused anxiety though! 😂. Some of the servos have run out of fuel so I had to get some as I need to get to work on Friday and didn’t have enough to get me there.

@Captain24 i think it's good that you're listening to your body and going to bed early but i do understand the worry of it being a bit too early. A bed day is also ok when we need it. You've had a busy time with work and also doing so much around the house.

Can definitely get the anxiety over fuel but glad you were able to get some. The whole fuel situation is just crazy at the moment.

@Captain24 that is such a good thing hun, to have that motivation coming from someone so supportive.

Meanwhile it's like, above 20 down here all week! So odd for this time of year.

Please don't feel the need to apologise for doing what is right for you! If it keeps you safe I'm all for it. Nighty night hun! 💜

It’s in the high 20’s here as well. Just extremely cold overnight. @Jynx

I have a question for you. I live my psych appointments and get so much out of them and I love my psych, she is so amazing. Why do I almost always feel really rough after the appointment?

I just can’t stay up any longer. It’s just not physically possible. @MissGremlin. But now it’s just before 7 and I’m awake.

It’s getting hard out here. The servos keep running out. At least it’s different ones and different fuels. With the price going under $2 I think everyone will be getting fuel. I couldn’t risk it. Diesel is the biggest problem as lots of people have diesel cars and the farmers all need it to run their machines. One of the guys at work is going to start doing the extra 2 hours of overtime on nightshifts just to pay for his fuel getting to and from work. He is also going to buy a petrol car this week.

How are you feeling?

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I get that feeling when you can't physically stay up. Sometimes I struggle with waking up early cos it makes the days so much longer and they feel like they drag on forever.

I can imagine it would be getting hard out there. We've had servos run out here but there's heaps around so it's not hard to just go to another one. Diesel has been the biggest issue and alot of people that have cars that run on it have switched over to petrol cars at the moment. It's definitely a necessary fuel for farmers and also trucks to be able to keep the country running.

I'm feeling quite emotional and have lots of thoughts at the moment. I only woke up a short time ago but in a panic so I'm still trying to calm down from that. I'm safe and just laying here with Casper focusing on his breathing.

How are you feeling sweet?

They do drag on. I need to work on changing my sleep habits a bit but then when I work I have to be in bed early. Work messes everything up! There is only 6 years left of the mine so then I’ll need to find a new job that will pay my mortgage. @MissGremlin

Farming and essential services need to come first. The country can’t run without them.

Im just sitting here doing diamond art and I want to get it finished as my new ones could be here today. They are in the next town over and should ship them over here today. I want to start on mums one and maybe I can give it to her for Mother’s Day.

Im feeling really down, I have nothing to give right now and it feels really hard. Im hungry and cant even get myself something to eat.

How are you going? Any plans for the day?

@Captain24 i can understand how work would mess it up. It's like you are in one routine while on shifts but then another when you aren't working. 6 years is still a while away but cab imagine not alot of jobs these days are enough to cover mortgages the way they are at the moment.

Yes i completely agree with you.

Oohhh that's exciting that your new ones are close to being there. Being able to start on mums one and giving it to her for mothers day would be awesome. I only did one section of my diamond art last night as I was struggling to focus.

I'm sorry you're feeling really down sweet, I'm here with you ❤️. I get that feeling when you just have nothing to give, but know that you're doing well to even just be doing your diamond art. Hope you can manage to get something to eat soon even if it's just a small snack.

I don't have any plans for the day. My body is sore after a seizure last night (I'm safe). I'm hoping to give Casper a bath at some stage and maybe I'll manage a shower myself.

I’m hoping if I get in contact with the people I have my mortgage through that they may extend it from 25 years to 30 which will drop my repayments down a little. I’m lucky though I got it through indigenous Australia so my interest rates aren’t as high as they are for others. My mortgage is $1400 a fortnight. Plus paying it fortnightly reduces the time of the loan instead of monthly. @MissGremlin

It’s hard when you struggle to focus. I have to finish this section and I have one more section and it’ll be done. If I don’t finish it today it will definitely be finished tomorrow.

Seizures must be so hard. I can see why your body is sore. Does the soreness last long? Bathing dogs feels like such a huge effort. That’s why I timed it the other day. Now I know it’s only 40 minutes to bath and blow dry both of them. It doesn’t feel as daunting. I’ve timed a lot of things recently to see if it takes the pressure off and it has.

Bathing Casper would be more work though. He is a little bit bigger than my two! How do you bath him? I just do mine in the laundry tub, I made sure it was big enough when I built so that Pix would fit in as I only had one dog then. Plus I put a special tap in that has a spray as well so it’s like a shower!

I should probably shower too. I told my psych that I would try and shower and clean my teeth everyday.