I can’t cope

@Captain24 i know you know what it's like, it's just a horrible space to be in. Can understand the resentment with Pix having diabetes as i went through similar when my last girl Laylah was diagnosed with renal dysplasia.

I usually at least get dressed and do my hair but today I've just had no energy, I've felt like things are so heavy and like I'll never feel happiness again (I'm safe). I love my hoodies and if around the house bras are definitely optional.

@tyme it's just pain from every angle at the moment which really takes a toll.

I went to the dentist cos the initial appointment after a referral was done was free but the surgery i need to get my wisdom teeth and the other taken out is just over $300. Not something I can afford so I have to suffer with the pain.

I'm confuzzled. I somehow read that you were working night shift for the next few nights? @Captain24

Soz!

But yes, let me know about the results. It's harder not knowing than knowing!

Yeah I’m on nights but it’s the same hours just at night instead of the day. I’ll get up at 4:30pm and leave at 5:30pm and get home just before 8am! 😂 @tyme

Nah, I go bra less in public! Just when I go shopping or anything. If I have an appointment or something I’ll wear one! @MissGremlin. I never wear a bra at home.

The happiness thing is hard. At least I have my psych trying to convince me that there are better days ahead. I just don’t see them. Not a lot brings a smile to my face, only fake ones. Life does feel very heavy at times. It just seems to be constant for both of us right now.

And when like seems hard, that's when we need each other more @Captain24 @MissGremlin

@Captain24 i can't go out without one but it's usually the first thing to come off when i get home.

That's the thing even when I've been able to have those smiles they haven't felt genuine or i get that guilt after.

I wonder if we just smile for the sake of smiling, it actually releases chemicals to help you feel better? @MissGremlin

Maybe this is the trick? Just do it whether you feel like it's real or not? @Captain24

I’m really sorry. I know I said I’d be around but I just need to go to bed. Sorry to let you both down.

Im really tired and things aren’t good.

I’ve been trying really hard I just can’t keep going and really need some sleep.

Im sorry

@MissGremlin @tyme

PLEASE don't be sorry! Go to bed! @Captain24

OMG, I didn't even realise the time! I need to go too!

Argh... I'm running late... again...

Goodnight!