I can’t cope

Argh, you are such a thoughtful and lovely mum. Pix is so fortunate to have you @Captain24 .

As for swimming, it wouldn't have minded staying in, but I thought the lightning was a bit dangerous.

As for the hail, I wasn't expecting it at all because it has been so warm. Usually, before hail, I feel this sudden freezing drop in temp...but not this time!

It's okay, as I said. We will have much warmer temps in the days to come. I think even reaching 38 degrees soon.

I do like the pool, but it does take a lot of work. It's a salt chlorinated pool. But I have to go to the pool shop every month to check the levels of everything in the water. Other option is to get someone to come out to do it. It's good for now. At least the kids can get into the water. They get cold though. They are used to 30 degree pools for their swimming lessons. Our pool is only 24 degrees on a warm day. It is solar heated, but doesn't really reach as hot as the kids like it.

Everyone is telling me it’s a lot of work. @tyme So I’m not sure how I will go with that. I get that the kids find it cold but I’m sure they will love it in summer though. At least the solar takes the chill out of it.

If we had a heated pool here I’d be there everyday off doing some laps. I’m a huge swimmer.

I love swimming too @Captain24 - well, let's just say I've learnt to love it. I was made to have swimming lessons and training in a squad, but I hated it. Now, I'm grateful I've learnt to swim.

Backstroke is my favourite.

Backstroke @tyme Me too! The first time I went to regionals was for backstroke! I could never do butterfly and I’m pretty slow at breaststroke. So all my regionals were freestyle and backstroke

Mine strengths would be breaststroke and backstroke @Captain24 . Then again, I just like playing around in the water. It's so good for sore backs. It's low resistance exercise, so perfect for my joints back back.

@Captain24 , such a good chat on the peer group chat tonight. I really enjoyed it.

I hope you get a good rest now! You deserve it! You've had a LONG day.

It is so good! @tyme When i

lives in the central coast they had an indoor heated pool. I would go at 5 am every morning, go home and shower, then head off to work. I would feel energised all day. It was awesome.

It was an awesome chat. I made me think about how far I’ve come and what I’ve learnt.

Out of 28hrs I’ve 2.5 hrs sleep

Anyhow, I’m feeling very mentally drained so I think the safest thing is to shower and go to bed.

Hope you have a good night and great day tomorrow (don’t forget to finish vacuuming the pool)

Talk tomorrow?

Yes please @Captain24 ! Talk tomorrow! We can chat more about the pool, swimming etc. I used to do the same as you. Go to the Olympic Pool in Homebush, swim for 2 hours then go to work - yes! I was great!

I thought over here might be better @hanami

My trigger is getting worse. Since I got this job and built my house she feels the right to be involved in every aspect of my life. I’m still treated as a child and I’m 45! I don’t know if I’m noticing it more now as it’s all coming out. I think both are getting worse.

Hence the alone time and self care needed

The withdrawal is a major concern too. My psychiatrist didn’t really want to make changes while there is no supports but the side effects from the one I need to withdraw from was causing toxicity.

Ugh, @Captain24 doesn't sound good. I know you'll get through these next few days. Could be a bumpy ride but you've got this. Then once you are through, next year will be a fresh start.

❤️