I can’t cope

I’m just at the hospital waiting for my psychiatrist appointment. @tyme

Work was ok. I did get irritated when I didn’t get my second break because they wouldn’t listen to me. My nurse said yesterday that irritability is a sign of going into a hypo and to take an anti-psychotic. So I did and it didn’t work so I guess I had the right to be irritated! Lol

How have you been for the last couple of days? Hope your appointment went well today

@Captain24 - no second break in a 12 hr shift?!?! Ouch.

I wonder if breathing through the irritation would have made a difference?

My appointment went well today. Just new MH care plan. According to the dr, I have to be proactive about my mental to maintain a healthy baseline. She also acknowledged the hard work I've done to make such a massive improvement in the last 15 months. Woohoo!

I believe this will be the same for you 🙂

Yeah the no second break didn’t help! @tyme.

I did take a deep breath before I responded to anything on the 2 way! But there was a couple of sketchy parts on my run where it would feel like the truck was going to tip over especially when heavily loaded. So I thought of you and did the breathing you suggested and I made it!

Im so glad you were recognised for you efforts and how far you have come. That must have made you feel proud. It’s a fantastic achievement

My psychiatrist appointment was in person not via Telehealth! @tyme She is such a lovely person. It’s much better in person

I took notes with me of everything that has happened in the last 4 weeks. She listened to everything and asked questions all the way through. Because my mood fluctuations are so rapid and volatile she is considering hospital but I said no. She asked me what supports I had over the break because she is concerned and has organised one of the MH team to give me a call.

My meds have changed again. She was reluctant do to that due to the break but I’m having dangerous side effects from mood stabiliser she put me on last time. I thought I was getting dementia early. So over the Christmas break I’ll be withdrawing!

At the end of the app the three of us just chatted about pets and general stuff. I actually left feeling ok.

Sounds very good @Captain24 ! It is a little concerning you are having med changes over the break, but then again, it is even more concerning if the medication is having dangerous side effects.

I forgot to ask. Remember last time how you had a meeting with HR? How did that go?

The one I’m having the side effects to is causing toxicity! @tyme . I get if you need to delete that!

The HR meeting went ok. They wanted to know quite a lot of details about what’s been happening. I didn’t give them all the details just enough to think they did. She is calling EAP and apparently, even though I already have a therapist through them, they send out a team of maybe 3 people with different roles and apparently they all work through stuff with me. That will be interesting. The down side to the meeting was they are concerned about me needing to leave early or not coming into work. They are worried that I don’t know the signs of when I maybe putting others at risk. She doesn’t get it. She doesn’t understand that you know the signs.

Argh, fair enough @Captain24 . I guess they have to do take those precautionary measures in case something happens.

As a workplace, they'd be in trouble otherwise.

I hope you find EAP helpful. They are usually more 'tailored' to your work setting - not general mental health support.

Hopefully they help but if they don’t it’s ok. @tyme. As I told the psychiatrist today I’m willing to try anything to get through all this.

Did you have a good day?

It'll help in terms of your work. If you have work-related questions, it'll be good to bring it up with them. @Captain24 .

As for my day today, I just had my appointment in the morning, then came home to go for a swim. As I was swimming, I decided to vacuum the pool so I spent the time doing that. However, just as I was about to finish cleaning the pool, it started storming 😞

I was going to go back in later, but didn't get to in the end... it's hailing here now lol.

It's okay because it'll be hot the next few days too. I can get into the water then.

Did you have a sleep after work?

I’m so jealous that you have a pool @tyme

It sucks about the storm. I would have stayed in anyway so love swimming in storms. It makes the water softer. At swimming club we all used to do better times. Hope the hail isn’t damaging.

I hope you get to enjoy it tomorrow. It’s just started a raining but I don’t think there is much in it. It’s only 26 here tomorrow but it should be warmer the next day.

I’ve had 2.5 hrs sleep. Pixie’s boyfriend was in town for the morning so I had to get up early for a play date.