I can’t cope

The ones I’m ordering will be 40x50 like the one I just finished. That’s why 30 x 40 seems small to me. I like to always have some ready to go incase I get a fad for it like last week. I have back ups for all of the crafty stuff I do. @MissGremlin

A roast beef sounds yummy. That’s what I made last Sunday with roast chicken as well.

I’ve looked at the pantry and noting inspires me so I’m going to see what’s in the freezer. I should have gone grocery shopping this morning. 😂 I will definitely go tomorrow!

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?

@Captain24 i don't think i could do anything bigger than 30×40cm. But more so cos I just don't have the space to keep them or put them up anywhere. I'm the same and always have extra craft things of what I like to do.

Roasts are the best 😋.

Hopefully you can find something in the freezer to eat. It's annoying when you don't know what you feel like, i get like that regularly 😂.

Don't have anything on tomorrow at this stage.

It takes a lot of time! I don’t do it very often unlike last week! It’s always good to have enough for if you get a fad on it. @MissGremlin. I’ve got mosaics that I haven’t done in ages in the cupboard. I have 3 shelves of stuff!

I just found some steam fresh prawns that I haven’t tried so I’m just heating them up and see how I go.

All I have is grocery shopping and the hope that I sleep in for a bit. Then it’ll just be diamond art as I don’t need to think. I’m still not up for anything that needs any concentration but I do need to distract from these really bad thoughts.

@Captain24 it's definitely good to have enough cos you never know what you'll be in the mood for doing. I chop and change so much with what do craft wise. Mosaics sounds cool to do, I've never done that.

Oh nice, prawns are always good.

Hope the grocery shopping goes ok. Doing diamond art is a perfect mindless activity. I get that distraction from the bad thoughts. I'll be around if you want to chat or just want company ☺️

I’ve only ever done kits but I have got a small wooden box and tiles that I want to put on it but I’ve just been game enough to try it! @MissGremlin

They were really good and I’ll buy them again. I do feel a little better after eating.

The thoughts are getting really bad and consuming. So a distraction is needed. Chatting would be good. Only if you are up fort it or want too. No pressure

@Captain24 maybe you'll get game enough to try it one day ☺️.

Glad you enjoyed them and that you're feeling a bit better after eating.

Definitely happy to chat sweetheart ❤️. Those thoughts might be there but you're not sitting alone with them and they won't consume you on my watch ☺️

I have the image in my mind of what I want but I lack the confidence to do it. @MissGremlin If I have surgery maybe I can give it a go. I won’t know until I try.

They told me that it would be really hard and dangerous coming out of freeze. It’s not going well. Thanks for looking out for me.

Im really tired and just want to go to bed. I still have over an hour to go. I can barely keep my eyes open.

@Captain24 finding that confidence can be tricky. But craft is all about creativity, sometimes it's just letting things flow and seeing what the result is at the end.

Coming out of the freeze is hard and dangerous, but remember you have a team of people that are looking out for you and you've got the community here aswell. Make sure you keep notes so that when you talk to your psych on Tuesday you can tell her what's been going on. Are you still ringing the Pdoc on Monday to see if you can get an appointment earlier?

I hear you on being tired, it's hard when you still have to wait to feed Pix before you can go to bed. Would maybe getting up and moving around help, just to get the blood flowing a bit. Don't want to be too awake but enough to just get through the next hour and a bit until you can go to sleep.

I think having distractions through work and creativity sound healthy, because they are bringing you back to a sense of safety within yourself - even if it's momentarily - and that's important! @Captain24

Oh, the sunrise sounds so magical! What a beautiful experience to have after a long shift. Do you have photos? And was it nice to connect with colleagues during that moment as well?

How did your GP appointment go?

Thank you, lovely. I am okay - I am just managing some residual asthma now, bleh.

I think I will ring her @MissGremlin. I’ll see if I can get in. I kinda don’t want more medication but if it helps with the thoughts and keeps me safe then I will. Anything to get to baseline and through this safely.

I didn’t even sleep well! I tossed and turned for a bit and woke up a few times. All of my own doing and not the dogs. But I didn’t really wake up until 8.

How are you feeling today?