I can’t cope

I struggle to function without sleep. But somehow I do manage it at times. @MissGremlin. The abuse wasn’t really bad. It was childhood and a lot of mental abuse that has really stuck and my parents believed in punishment that was over the top. My psych calls it physical abuse. That’s where the cPTSD comes from.

I think it’s a good idea to bring it up. Just in case there is a little more to it or he may have a way to help.

I have to work on sleep hygiene, obviously with bipolar, but also with nightshifts and swapping back to normal. It’s a big thing in my life. I do it really well while I’m working just not always on my days off.

I use to do a lot of laying in bed and I still have bed only days but I do my best not to. It is a safe space though. I get doing your crafts there especially being comfy and safe. I do everything in the living area, either my kitchen island or my dining table. I have a really homely home though and it’s a comfort and safe space to be. Especially since no one comes around and invades it.

Im just about to go and bath the dogs and then head around to mums. I really don’t want to and don’t have the energy or motivation but it has to be done.

A chill day for you sounds nice though. How’s your diamond art coming along?

I am done for the day. Washing, changing bed linen, bathing dogs, mowing mum and dads lawn, whipper snipper and mowing mine. All washing ironed (what needed it) folded and packed away except for my doona cover as it’s still drying in the dryer. I’ve had a shower and washed all the dirt off me and just got out of a relaxing bath.

Im ready for bed

@Captain24 you've done a huge amount of things today sweet so I can understand why you are ready for bed.

Hope you can rest for a while now sweetheart.

Wow @Captain24 you have done soo much today

Way to go my awesome friend 🧡

Now time to totally relax and rest up

I think I’ll be in bed at 8:35. Pix has her dinner and needle at 8:30! @MissGremlin

Im thinking I’ll sit here and go through some pictures to order for my diamond art. I want to try and order them tomorrow .

Im might do some of this diamond art later. It’s hard to get started in a new one when I’ve just completed a big one.

I have a pounding headache!

How are you going? Still blah?

@Captain24 I think an early night will be good after everything you've done today sweet.

I have to check if I can get some more diamond art kits, have alot to pay this fortnight and it's the first payment of the higher rent so that's worrying me.

I think that's why I'm struggling with my new diamond art, it is hard to get going but once you've done a bit it feels a little less overwhelming.

I'm sorry you have a pounding headache, have you taken anything for it sweet?

I'm still feeling blah, I actually crashed it on my lounge for 3 hours but it wasn't really rest as such. Things are sitting pretty heavy for me at the moment (I'm safe). I just finished making my bed so that's done now and I fed Casper.

Hopefully you can make it through. @MissGremlin. Do you have any other diamond art kits or are you on your last one?

Maybe I’ll get stuck into some of it tomorrow after I go grocery shopping. It’s like you just need to get back into the rhythm of it.

I’ve had some electrolytes and some pain relief but nothing is working.

Im sorry things are heavy and it wasn’t like rest. At least the bed is made and Casper has been fed. What about you? Have you had any dinner?

@Captain24 i know I'll only be able to cover a couple of the increased rent payments before I'm going to be hit with eviction notices, it's just not an amount I can cover especially with the way the cost of living is now. I still have a few more but 2 of them are big ones and I really want some smaller ones so they don't take as much to do.

Yes i think finding that rhythm is tricky when you first start them. Good thing is there's no rush to complete them.

Oh that's tough sweet, sounds like maybe it will need a good rest/sleep for it to settle.

I'm glad my bed is done but have to do the others still. I'm not hungry at the moment but maybe later I'll nibble on something. Have you had anything to eat today sweet?

That’s so tough @MissGremlin. It’s so hard to not be able to afford to live. The cost of living has gone up dramatically. It’s ridiculous and income isn’t going up enough to cover it.

Seeing the results sooner is good. This one is only 30x40 so it shouldn’t take too kind, the other one I have is the same. That’s why I need to get these ordered especially if I have to have surgery and can’t do anything for weeks. How big are your other ones?

At least one is done. Does it matter about the others?

Dad got me a salad roll for lunch. I’m trying to work out what to have for dinner. My head hurts and I don’t feel like anything but I have to eat to take my meds.

Have you eaten today?

@Captain24 that's the thing, everything keeps going up but not the income we get.

The one I've started is 30×40cm and so are 2 of the others i have, only 1 is 20×20cm. It's definitely good to have them just in case you do need to have surgery.

I can leave them until tomorrow.

A salad roll sounds yummy. I know it's hard to even think about food when you have a headache, maybe just something little tonight?

I made a roast beef so ate a little of that earlier today.