I can’t cope

Jett has to be touching me so every time I roll over or move so does he! @MissGremlin

That’s not good. I get emotional occasionally but have never woken up like that. You’ve had a busy day. Well done

How’s the anxiety going?

I’ve cleaned the house, washed and ironed my work clothes, had a shower and washed my hair. My work jumpers are in the wash and I have to unpack the dishwasher when I get home. I’m sitting at the GP waiting. It looks like he is on time today! I’m the only one sitting here!

Im tired as the couple of hours sleep this morning wasn’t enough. I’m having lots of heavy thoughts though.

@Captain24 Jett doesn't understand personal space 😂.

It's really not nice to wake up like it especiallythe not knowing why there's tears.

The anxiety has been pretty constant all day. I just had to make an unexpected trip out and my car started overheating and then wouldn't start. I'm at least home now and sitting with Casper, it's his dinner time but he hasn't asked for it yet lol.

You've done so well today doing all of that sweet, so proud of you. Hope your appointment goes ok for you.

Really hoping that you get a good night's sleep tonight, I can imagine after work that a couple of hours wouldn't be enough at all. Those heavy thoughts are tough to sit with but you're not sitting with them alone, I'm here with you ❤️.

He has NO concept of personal space! 😂 @MissGremlin

Maybe it just your mind and body just having enough. I get emotional sometimes when it gets past the nothing left to give.

Im glad you got out it’s a pain about your car though.

He was actually on time. It was ok I guess. He didn’t really listen about my thoughts though. They kept me awake this morning when I was trying to sleep. He didn’t say that I need to make an appointment with the Pdoc though. He kept questioning my safety.

He doesn’t have the pathology results from my surgery though, so I will have to wait until next Friday! At least I’ll be busy for the next few days and then I’ll be at work. I’m not at all stressed as it is what it is. My problem is the control thing and I just want to know!

Im really tired. I’ve unpacked the dishwasher so my list for today is done. Just heating up some party pies for dinner and I think I’ll watch some tv.

How are you travelling?

@Captain24 after talking to someone earlier I think it's from yesterday's feelings of guilt around feeling joy, cos I was very emotional when I went to bed.

I'm glad he was on time, I'm sorry that he didn't listen about your thoughts though. Have you got an appointment booked with the Pdoc?

Completely understand the control side of things. Guess it's good to be busy so there's less time to think about things.

My anxiety really kicked it up a notch tonight, I was just sitting on my lounge feeling okayish and then just went into full on panic mode and the heavy thoughts set in (I'm safe). So I'm sitting here with Casper snuggled up to me.

I'm hoping you can get a really good night's sleep tonight sweet ❤️

Sorry @MissGremlin

My head hit the pillow and I was out cold and didn’t wake up until just now.

It could have been that. I’m sorry it’s so hard. I wish I could help.

I have to ring on Monday and see how I go about making an appointment earlier than what’s available online considering she asked for it. I do see my psych on Tuesday though.

Im sorry it got worse for you and you had panic. Anxiety is hard to deal with. I hear those heavy thoughts. I’m glad Casper is a comfort to you.

How are you feeling today?

Morning @Captain24 sweet, you don't have to apologise, I'm glad you were able to sleep easily and for a good amount of time too. How are you feeling?

Hopefully there's an earlier appointment that you can get, also good that you have a psych appointment on Tuesday.

I woke up just before 6am, I'm feeling a bit blah today and my head really hurts. Just laying in bed with Casper for now but I'll do his breakfast soon.

I’m feeling better after having a good nights sleep. I’m not so tired and drained. @MissGremlin. I’m confused about my actual feelings though. My psych should help with that though.

I hope the blah lifts a little. I’m glad you slept until 6. You seem to have a headache or migraine a lot lately, is this normal or do you need it checked out? It must be hard to constantly live with it. I actually thought I was getting a migraine at work the other night. I got this pain in my head and then it felt like I had a belt around my head getting tighter. I took pain relief and that seemed to help. I couldn’t risk it turning into anything as I was working in the dark and if it did I didn’t think I would be capable of driving home in the dark.

It’s nice just laying in bed. I can’t seem to do that anymore. I wake up and I’m up, laying just makes me antsy and agitated.

Do you have plans for today?

@Captain24 glad you are feeling better after a good night's sleep. I get the confusion about your actual feelings but yes hope your psych helps to make sense of them.

Still only got 4 hours of sleep though, I was about to go to sleep at like 11ish but someone set off fireworks which then triggered flashbacks so I couldn't sleep then. I do seem to have a headache or migraine every day, I had an mri 2024 that was fine and blood tests have all been ok. Think it's just stress and a lack of sleep that causes it but it's horrible to constantly have pain in your head. Glad the pain relief helped, definitely don't need that when you're at work and then having to drive home.

I can lay in bed for a while but I'm usually up and down doing things. So I'll get up to feed Casper but then sit back in bed, do dishes then back in bed etc. But I totally get that antsy and agitated feeling, all depends on what mood I'm in. Like now I'm laying here and I'm restless and can't keep still. I got up to feed Casper just before and took him out to the toilet.

I don't have any plans for the day at all, what about you sweet?

4 hours is just not enough is it. On sorry the fireworks caused flashbacks. That must be hard. I don’t really get flashbacks but I have t really had any severe trauma just abuse, mental and physical. @MissGremlin

I was really stressing because it’s dark out there and all the trucks coming at me with their lights was worrying me. I’m glad you have been checked out. The lack of sleep doesn’t help. I get headaches then as well.

I use to be able to lay in bed all day. Like you, get up and do stuff and then go back to bed. But focusing on sleep hygiene has made that harder, everyone tells me my bed is just for sleeping. The dogs make it difficult as well.

Nonplans sounds good. I have a few things today. I have done a load of washing, changed my bedlinen and about to put the sheets in the wash. The doona cover will have to wait until I bath the dogs and wash their towels. Then I’m going around to mums and going to mow their lawns. It depends on how I’m feeling but I really want to whipper snipper and mow mine as well. If I do all of it then all I have to do tomorrow is go grocery shopping and Monday will be a free day. I’m hoping it all works out as I’ve planned!

@Captain24 it's really not enough, not when I've been awake since early hours of the morning with no naps during the day. Flashbacks are horrible so I'm glad you don't have them, but I'm sorry for the abuse you've been through sweet, you didn't deserve any of it.

Yes that would have been very worrying, I'm glad that the pain relief helped. I'll actually talk to my doctor about the headaches again when I have my next appointment cos I'm rather over it. I wake up with a headache almost every day.

It's good to have that sleep hygiene though, being in bed too much isn't good for anyone. I often sit in my bed to do my crafts so it's not that I'm just doing nothing, it's just a comfy place to be.

Sounds like a busy day for you, you've done so well to do your bedding already. I might actually wash mine today but it means getting them washed and dried in the same day. Fingers crossed it all works out as planned so you can have a rest day on Monday.