I can’t cope

Hey @Jynx

I hope you had a good break and got out into nature.

It’s such a shock. He is a nice guy when you get to know him. It was dealt with a great deal of respect, dignity and care for him and for us. We had a minutes silence. It’ll be a hard day tomorrow for the bosses as it’s his crew. The crew in tonight have arranged to stay back and make sure everything is ready to go for when that crew is ready to start. How nice is that?

I also have a voice message from my gyno’s receptionist to call her. That didn’t do that last time I had my surgery and my results weren’t good. It’s sounding pretty bad this time. I will just wait and see what the call brings tomorrow! I have the morning free as I go to bed at 12 to get ready for nightshift.

It’s all happening right now. My head is going around in circles. I thought of that guy all day, now the call, it’s just a loop.

@Captain24 not so much, found out I had an inspection and it was this whole debacle cos like... I thought it was too soon for another one, but by the time I'd emailed to say so my RE agent was already off for the public holidays. So I had to clean house just in case it went ahead... only to get emailed this morning to say 'oh woops yes our mistake, no inspection for a couple months' 🙃

But I'm not mad that my house is clean and my yard trimmed, lol. Silver linings!

I'm glad that they're honouring his memory and being supportive of those impacted 💜

Oh hun, that is so hard to sit with for sure! I hope it's just like... arranging a follow up or something super benign. I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's not super horrible news 🤞

Are you able to do something to distract yourself for a bit?

At least your place feels good and clean. I like that feeling. @Jynx. So it was a busy few days. I’m sad you didn’t get out though.

I’ll ring in the morning and see what’s going on. He comes to town every four weeks and I think this Friday is the day. If I do have to see him I’m happy to travel 2 hours each way to get the news sooner. It could be nothing though.

I don’t know what to do to distract. I’ve just watched some tv but my mind was going in circles the whole time. I listened to music all the way home but that didn’t work either.

@Captain24 I'll find a time eventually, and it'll be the right time - when the stars align ya know?

Hmm maybe something that requires a little more focus and brain power, so that your mind can't go wandering so easily? It's why I choose video games over tv sometimes, cos I actually have to concentrate!

You could chuck on music and like, sing along to it. Or find an audiobook or a podcast on a topic you're interested in. Sometimes when it's just audio, it helps the ol' ADHD brain to also do something with your hands - like some lego or colouring in. Maybe find a documentary on youtube or a streaming service and see if you learn something new! Kurzgesagt is one of my favs for this 😉

That’s true, when it’s meant to be it will happen! @Jynx

They sound interesting but I think I’m just going to go to bed and listen to white noise. I’m really tired. It’s been a big day and I was up at 4:30. Maybe rest is what I need. This is when I wish I had prn.

I won’t be around for the next 2 nights as I’ll be on nightshift. I will tag you though after my phone call.

Just sitting here waiting until 9 so I can ring the gyno office. It seems like such a long time away. Time is going so slow.

@Captain24 thinking of you sweetheart ❤️

All the washing is done and on the line, grocery shopping done, dishwasher is unpacked and repacked. Dogs are fed. There is nothing else I can do but wait until 9 @MissGremlin

How are you feeling?

@Captain24 you've done amazing to get all of that don't sweet, well done. How's the diamond art going?

I'm actually really struggling, I've got a migraine and my ears are really sensitive to any noise (I'm safe). I have an appointment today that's going to be very long and I'm really anxious and stressed about it, only good thing is that my friend is taking me there so I'll have bubs to cuddle.

This is my regular morning before my first night shift. I don’t usually do it all so fast though. I just have to cook meals for work, which I’ll do later as I’ll have it for lunch before I go to bed. @MissGremlin

I have t done anymore since Sunday. I might do a little bit today.

That’s not good about the migraine and noise. I’m not sure about you living environment but are you able to ask them to keep the noise down a little?

A long appointment does sound anxiety provoking. I’ll be thinking of you. What time is it? I’m glad your friend and bun are taking you. Bub will be a good distraction and special little cuddles that I’m sure you need. A little connection.