I can’t cope

I’m proud of getting everything cooked on time and together. @AuntGlow. Over the last week I have been taking care of myself by taking it easy.

There is a combination of things that could be causing, that I’ve been okish for a few days and now my time is done, that I had a big day today, that I have to go to work tomorrow. I slept properly last night for the first time in a while and now I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning.

@Captain24 really hoping you can sleep through until 4.30 sweet and that it's a good sleep.

It's ok sweetheart, I'm so thankful that you have been around to chat this weekend, it's truly meant alot ❤️.

Hope work goes ok for you too.

These are wonderful achievements @Captain24 🥰

It sounds like getting things done (but with room to breathe) and getting proper sleep really helps? Am I understanding that right?

When is your next psych appointment and do you have any updates around your health? I know there has been a lot going on for you, so no need to share if it's too much right now. 💛

I’m not really doing anything other than diamond art for many hours each day. From the time I get up to the time I go to bed @AuntGlow. It’s distracted me but I’m not sure it’s healthy.

I see my psych in a weeks time as I go back to work today.

No health updates. I won’t find out until May of the cells have grown back or not.

Turns out diamond art was just a distraction. I’m not as ok as I thought.

Im about to have a shower for the 8th day in a row and go to bed to do it all again tomorrow.

@Captain24 sending you some hugs sweetheart ❤️

Hello, my friend. @Captain24

I was just about to message. How was work today?

Also, I know you said diamond art might not be healthy, but anything that helps you to feel better, lighter, more connected, more safe, or more hopeful is a healthy choice. 💛

It's okay to notice you may not be okay at the same time. What can we do create a sense of safety for you right now? I am here until 11.

PS: Yay for a shower! I just had a really long, warm one. It's getting colder in Victoria this week, so it was very regulating - I feel very lucky to have access to hot water right now!

Work was hard @AuntGlow. I was doing a job I like and was busy, it did distract me king of but not as much as I need.

I guess so. I’m about to order 4 or 5 more pictures of the dogs. If it’s keeping me busy at home I guess it’s ok. I’ll see what my psych says next Tuesday.

I went to bed early as 4:30 comes around quickly. I’ll be around more tonight though. I’ll be home around 8pm

My gp said I had to shower everyday so I’m trying to, he wants a lot of me but I’m meeting him half way.

A warm shower is good in the cold it’s just getting out is the problem.

How are you?

T/W mentions death.

@moderator can you please put a trigger box on this if it needs one?

Im in shock.

When I started out at work. There was this guy. He was pretty sleazy but my cousin was in his crew and told home to leave me alone and he did. We got to know each other over time and he always talk on switch over. He is in another crew to me. When I did a dayshift in his crew a couple of weeks back. He asked how I was and we chatted for a while before pre-start started. He did the same on the nightshift overtime that I did. He sat with me and just chatted.

So I get to work today and they have big bosses in the pre-start meeting. They held a separate meeting after the normal one. He was fatally injured in an accident near his home over the weekend. It’s such a shock and very sad. But even sadder is the fact that his first grandchild is due in 4 days.

Hey @Captain24 I'm sorry to hear that - I can imagine it has been quite a shock. Especially someone who has been part of your routine, who has been kind to you and you've connected with. Even if you weren't close close, it would probably still feel like a loss. And knowing that his grandchild will be growing up without him is really just, so so sad.