I can’t cope

That’s actually makes sense @Jynx. Sketch and all 😂

Im still tired but not as exhausted with just being in the moment.

I woke up at 3:30 this morning and had my house clean, 2 loads of washing done and the fridge clean by 6. Then I did some mini bricks and about 4 hours of diamond art. I did take some meds at lunch time to try and help me sleep so I got nearly 2 hours just then. It took a lot to get to sleep though. I’m a little scared that I’m going the other way like I did when I had this stupid thing put in me last time. I would have done a lot more but I was starting to hurt and didn’t want to put my recovery behind like last time.

She is a bit flat today and drinking a fair bit of water so I have to watch her and may have to take her to the vet. She did come running when I said I was going to bed though. She is getting better with her needle so that’s good.

I spent some time in the sun yesterday and a little bit today. It’s really nice to be in it especially after the ridiculously cold day the other day. I think we are in for a really bad winter!

Going out later sounds nice I like it watching the sky when the sun is going down. Have you been getting much rain?

Yay @Captain24 I'm glad 😊

Sounds like a good approach, to not push yourself or try to do too much all at once. Hope you can continue to listen to your body and slow down before you strain yourself!!

Aww I hope she's okay! Definitely don't need the extra stress of another vet visit. But we do what we gotta do for our fuzzy friends hey.

Yes the cold sure is setting in quick!! And yeah heaps of rain recently. I don't mind - does make it harder to do any gardening or yard work tho! Hopefully we will both get a lovely sunset tonight 😊

@Captain24 you did so well to do diamond art for so long sweet. Hoping you got some rest.

I went to the shops which took alot out of me, i was talking to one of the workers that I know and had to fight back tears, he's really sweet and said 'you know where to find me if you need me'. I've done so much within the past few hours and now I'm feeling exhausted, I'm sitting frozen on my kitchen floor. I have to do my dishes so I'm going to focus on getting them done and then do my bedtime routine so I can do some diamond art in bed.

I hope so @Jynx.

last time I just smashed myself with lists as I had to be on the go constantly and had to be achieving stuff, no self care. I need to try and control it. I do have a psych appointment on Tuesday a Pdoc phone call on Wednesday so I’ll run it past both of them.

I’ll watch her tomorrow and then take her o. Tuesday’s I need to. I did get them up really early though. So I’m hoping that’s all it is.

Didn’t see much of the sunset, I hope you did. We really haven’t had a lot of rain just a few mils here and there.

I don’t do much gardening and currently my lawn mower is broken and so is dads so that’s making mowing the lawns hard!

Any plans for the next few days?

I did get some rest @MissGremlin. Hopefully I don’t have another night like last night. I have taken my sleep meds again though. My Pdoc said to stop taking them while I was so exhausted and sleeping all the time but I thought tonight was a good place to start again!

Im glad he was supportive, sounds like a nice guy. It’s hard when we do a lot, the energy it takes from us when we don’t have any to start with.

That frozen state is horrible. I hope you got your dishes done and are now in bed.

Guess what!!! It’s bin night!

@Captain24 I'm hoping you have a better night tonight sweet. I think tonight is a good time to start again.

He's a very understanding guy, I have a hard time usually with guys but comfortable with him (he's gay). Yes i have zero energy at the moment so even though I still do things I'm running on empty.

I did get my dishes done and I've just sat down in bed.

Haha not the dreaded bin night 😂

Here’s hoping we both have a better night @MissGremlin

It’s so hard with nothing to give but still have to give. I’m similar and still get things done when I just have nothing left. I’m glad you got the dishes done. It’s a least one less thing tomorrow.

Have you started your diamond art yet?

@Captain24 yes we both need a better night i think.

I could never leave the dishes until the next day, i do them 2-3 times a day. It's just one of those tasks that has to be done.

I haven't done any tonight yet. I'm sitting here just staring into space, deep in thought.

@Captain24 surgery is something that can make us feel very out of control - putting your life in someone else's hands. Maybe all the lists were a way of coping with that?

Perhaps you can think of the self-care as a form of control too!

I hope she goes okay - I guess regular checkups are gonna be part of your routine now too.

I didn't either 😅 But being distracted by the forums fam is ok by me!

Oh noooo and I know an overgrown garden is not easy for you... I wonder how costly it would be to hire someone to do a once-off of the lawns? Or would it be cheaper to get the mower fixed 🤔

Nothing too exciting on the horizon... might have to give the cats their flea treatment soon but that's about it!

The mirena that they put in is full of hormones that exacerbate bipolar @Jynx. Last time is what triggered this episode. I went hypomanic then into bipolar depression and then into freeze. I haven’t recovered and could need to face it all again. It’s a very messed up time.

Yeah constant vet visits is what I’m looking at. She is still in the early stages too so it hasn’t been worked out for certain what insulin dose she is on. More blood tests in 3 weeks. If I don’t need to take her sooner. Maybe a good nights sleep will help too.

I’m sorry you didn’t see it but at least being around has been good for you.

Dad’s mower is at the repair shop and hasn’t heard anything. I thought I might see on Facebook if there is someone that can fix them that’s not that shop. Mine starts but then shuts down straight away. The lawns are doing my head in. It’s getting so long and I don’t like it. Plus mum and dads is overgrown so that’s going to be hard to do. Since it’s getting colder I’m really going to have to push to get myself out there when I have a mower. I could see how much it would cost as a once off for my lawn. It’s quite large though.

Flea treatment time and shirt time! Whenever anyone says anything about flea treatment, I think of you and your cats!

Maybe you could plan a bush stroll if it’s close by?