I can’t cope

Even if you get a few hours of sleep every night you will still be tired as it’s been so long. At least you got some sleep and your body got some rest. @MissGremlin I mostly sleep

well and I’m still really tired.

I’ve had a huge morning and don’t k ow how I have done it. It’s taken everything out of me. I have just sat down for the first time since 7:30 and now I have to go and have a shower and go to bed to then go to work tonight. I went to 5 different places today and have had to talk to people at all but the supermarket. I even went to Bunnings and I only know one person that works there. I went straight to the only as Ike I needed and she was in that aisle! I just couldn’t escape people today.

Im going to bed now in the hope that I can get some sleep. Not sure how that’s going to go as I’m really overwhelmed and over stimulated. But I can only try. I probably won’t have time when I get up to come on here as I have to get the washing off the line and iron it so I have clothes for tonight. But I’ll try.

I am thinking of you though, please know that.

@Captain24 I'm going to reply a little later to your post as I'm a mess at the moment (I'm safe).

But i wanted to say that you've done so well to get things done, I'm so proud of you. I hope you have a relaxing shower then can get some much needed sleep before work tonight.

Thinking of you too sweet, love and hugs for you ❤️.

Oh, poor baby... this would be a lot for you both. @Captain24

What support do you think you might need to get through some of these unknowns around Pix' health?

I am glad to hear your back is feeling better - has anything specific been helping?

I can hear you absolutely did try and I think noticing and celebrating when you feel good will help you in accessing those feelings more often. 🫶

What kinds of stuff did you explore in your session? And the 3 things to be grateful for is such a wonderful rewiring practice! I wonder if you could have a buddy to do this with each day - to help keep you accountable/inspire you if you are feeling stuck? @MissGremlin comes to mind here. 🥰

Do you have 3 things today? I would love to hear them.

You've got me thinking about what mine would be too. 🤩

It’s a lot for all of us @AuntGlow. Mum and I are working together to get this all right. Mum comes around at 8:30 on my work days to give them breakfast and Pix her needle and then take them to her house. She brings them back after the walk in time for me to give them dinner at 8:30 of a night. I feed them before I go to bed after nightshift and then mum does the dinner time one when I’m on nightshift. So we have a routine happening. She has been a bit up and down in her sugar levels but it’s all trial and error. Sha has been an amazing ball of energy in the afternoons except for the last 2 days as it’s been really humid but the other two dogs were the same.

The vets have been really supportive of trying to get Pix through this and help me give her the best possible care.

Just pain relief and time was all it needed. My back still aches a little but it’s pretty much better. It usually only lasts about a week. Just the first 2 days I can’t stand up! It happens occasionally. I have a bad back.

It was a really different kind of appointment. We basically got to what I see as important in values. It all was weird but I came back around to how I was feeling even though it was really off tangent.

I’ve done a couple of days of the gratitude but other days I just haven’t been able to see anything. I feel shutdown right now and very detached. So it’s really difficult. A buddy would be good I guess but then that will put pressure on them and they don’t need that right now but also I think it would put pressure on me and if I didn’t have anything that would mean I have failed and let someone else down.

I had a rough few days at work but last night I shut down. I was in a pretty easier truck. I didn’t really have to do much as it was a water cart and the roads were already pretty wet with all the drizzly rain. So I just sat. But then I did need to drive around the pit a few times and just couldn’t. I just sat. I couldn’t talk on the radio. I couldn’t talk at meal times with the others. I just sat.

Right now I’m just waiting for my washing to finish and then go to bed for a couple of hours. I’m not sleep tired. I don’t want to get off the lounge. I just don’t want to do anything. It all feels really hard. Especially when I let it affect my work so much last night.

Anyway. How are you?

Hey @MissGremlin

Ive been thinking about you.

Hello @Captain24 sweetheart, sorry I haven't been around much. This week is really full on for me and all my energy is being put into just surviving.

I've been thinking about you and Pix and Jett. How are things going for you all?

Hey @MissGremlin

It’s ok not to be around. You have a lot to deal with right now and it’s all getting really bad for you.

I haven’t been around either. Being on nightshift is harder to be on here but I also haven’t had it in me.

I just wanted you to know that I haven’t forgotten about you.

@Captain24 completely understand not having it in you. That's been the same for me, I've been able to respond to a few posts but then I'm just drained.

Thankyou for thinking of me sweet and know I'm always thinking of you too ❤️.

I at least got a couple of hours sleep today. The vet called and she wants to see Pix this afternoon instead of tomorrow. So now it’s one less day to wait for the results. Plus one less thing on my overwhelming appointments tomorrow.

This is the first time I have spent time with Pix since Thursday. She seems good but it’s really humid and she struggles with that a fair bit. It is cool inside though. She looks bright.

Now I have to find something in me to get today’s tasks done. I’ve got nothing. Nothing in me. No spoons.

@Captain24 I'm glad you were able to get a couple of hours sleep sweet. Hope the vet appointment goes ok for Pix. Sounds like tomorrow is a busy day for you.

Hoping you've been able to enjoy spending time with Pix today.

I hear you on not having any spoons sweet, are you able to find some little moments in between tasks for some self care? Even if it's just having a little drink or stepping outside and taking some breaths of fresh air.