I can’t cope

I’m doing it tough. I’m trying to do my puzzle but it’s hard to concentrate. I need to feed the dogs but I need to get myself off the lounge first. I need to finish making my lunches for work. But I need to get off the lounge first. Plus I don’t feel like doing it.

Why does it all have to be so hard? I still don’t even have the words to say how I feel. I still don’t have to words to say what’s going on. My parents were here not long ago but I still feel really alone. Why does life even matter?

Hello @Captain24 sweet, I'm sorry i haven't been here for you. I crashed it on the lounge.

How are you doing at the moment sweetheart?

@Captain24 now that I've got time to sit while I'm waiting i can reply properly.

I hear you on it being unusual not having the words. Can definitely understand why it's odd and scary for you. I think for me sometimes when there's many things happening at once that I find it hard to say how I'm feeling cos each event that's happening is linked to different feelings.

When everything feels like so much effort it's hard to be able to manage anything. But you've cooked pasta and I'm guessing you've finished your lunches by now and probably fed the dogs too. So i think you've done incredibly well sweet. Also hope your arm is ok.

I can only imagine how hard it's going to be both on your back but also I know your worries about not being with Pix.

My doctor manages my seizure care. They aren't too often but can be increased when stress and sleep are big factors.

That's a possibility, I have mild sleep apnoea too and wake up choking and struggling to breathe, it's honestly horrible.

How did you go with your puzzle sweet?

I'm glad your parents were there for a bit but can relate to still feeling alone. I'm sorry things are so hard right now but know that we are here for you ❤️

I’ve got no idea how I’m feeling just that it’s not good. @MissGremlin It’s like I’m just a large mess of nothingness.

I did feed the dogs! I have only just made the pasta salad for work. It needed carrot but I couldn’t be bothered grating it so I didn’t put it in. It’s only for me so it doesn’t matter.

I’ve done a lot of my puzzle and I’m almost finished it. Not sure if I want to keep going or not. I want to because it’s close to the end and lots amazing but at the same time I just can’t be bothered.

My arm is ok. It’s got a blister on it and I’m guessing my work shirt will rub on it. My back is aching from sitting on the stool to do the puzzle. Probably not my smartest move but oh well. I’m going to miss Pix terribly and wonder how she is doing. She’ll be with mum so I know that she will be fine and mum knows what to watch for.

I’m glad they aren’t too often but I’m sorry it happened. Can you see your doctor about last night?

They can around to drop treats off for Pix for after her needle. I’m not sure if the ones I was giving her were causing her sugars to be high as they had honey in them and that’s what I have to give her if she goes into a hypo.

I do have a ‘friend’ (she thinks we are) that I met through a support group I use to go to and she keeps messaging me but it’s all links to stuff she wants me to share or wants me to go to. I don’t want or do any of that stuff. Each message just brings me down more. I did message a friend I was in hospital with but she hasn’t replied. I messaged her 2 days ago. She is always busy though and has support workers with her all the time, so I get it.

@Captain24 sending you hugs sweetheart ❤️.

You did well feeding the dogs and it's ok that you didn't do carrot for the pasta, you've done well to still do it ☺️.

Well done for doing alot of your puzzle, maybe saving the rest for another day is a good idea if you're not feeling up to finishing it today.

Ouch for the blister, hopefully it doesn't rub too much on your work shirt. I'm glad Pix will be with your mum and that she knows what to watch for but can completely understand how you'll still be worried about her.

My next appointment is either Monday or Tuesday so I will mention it then.

It's possibly the treats, I guess it's a matter of trial and error if what foods may affect her. It's nice if your parents to drop some treats around though ☺️.

Oh those links that people send annoy me and I don't participate in them. Guessing all you can do is politely let her know that it's not something that you are interested in doing. I'm sorry your other friend hasn't gotten back to you, it sounds like she gets a bit busy. I'm here though, I'm sorry i can't always reply straight away. Just know it doesn't mean that I don't care and don't want to talk to you, it's just that things get very busy and full on here for me.

I got frustrated with the puzzle so I gave up. I’d only just break the delicate pieces. @MissGremlin

I’ve been asleep. My back is hurting really badly.

Please don’t think I don’t want to talk to you. It’s just easier with her as I don’t have guidelines to follow. I also get that you can’t be around at all times.

Hopefully the GP can help when you see them.

@Captain24 totally understand getting frustrated sweet, it will be there when you are up to finishing it.

I'm sorry you are in pain but glad you got some rest.

It's ok sweet, i understand. Sending you hugs sweetheart ❤️

I’m a failure. I just cooked dinner for the next 3 nights but it’s horrible. I feel really sick after it. I can’t do anything right.

@Captain24 oh sweetheart, I'm sorry to hear this. But you are definitely not a failure, these things happen sometimes. Please try to be gentle with yourself ❤️

I’ve made it hundreds of times @MissGremlin Ive never had a failure.

It just adds to my day