I can’t cope

@Captain24 thankyou sweet ❤️. I don't usually remember details like that so it's actually made me feel emotional. I'll be there for you this time aswell sweet if need be.

This one has taken me months already, probably close to a year actually. But I started it and then didn't touch it for months. Maybe it's something you could try at some stage and see how it feels.

I know it's alot but a problem shared is a problem halved or so they say 😂.

Hopefully I get through it ok @MissGremlin. It’ll be emotional though.

I should listen and try it. All I have to do is sit in the chair and do it. It is fully set up!

Im going to try and get some sleep ready for tomorrow. I need to leave at about 6:30 as I need to call into Petbarn on my way there.

Thanks for helping me through today. I know I got a bit much while I was at the doctors but knowing I had someone helped.

Im in nice clean sheets and clean doona cover. Hopefully no one decides to vomit tonight!

Thank you so much. I hope you can find a little better of restful sleep tonight.

@Captain24 yes it will be emotional but I know you'll get through it and I'll be here for you ❤️.

No rush or pressure to do it, just whenever feels right for you.

I really hope you can get a good night's sleep sweet.

You weren't too much at all, you never are too much. I'm just sorry i didn't get to message straight away as i was sleeping until I woke up in a panic and saw your posts.

Oh yay for nice clean bedding. Fingers crossed noone vomits tonight.

You're so welcome sweetheart and thankyou for being here for me too. Night night ❤️

Oh @Captain24, that would have been so so distressing. 😣

I am relieved she is okay. What did the vets say to do in terms of monitoring/supporting her?

Back pain is always so hard to operate with, isn't it? Are the meds helping at all? I am wondering if physio or osteo could support as well?

He sounds like a really caring and thorough doctor, which is so nice to read. 🥰

How you're feeling is understandable, and more importantly, it's allowed. I am curious to know if we can explore where there was some change (even if it was really small)? I ask this because shifting our all-or-nothing language can be helpful in allowing us to see where we have evolved (because you absolutely have in the time I have known you).

I really hope your appointment tomorrow helps you to feel held in your vulnerability.

Oh, that would be a very tough adjustment to make... does this mean you can still see her online? She's been so wonderful for you. 🥹

Not hearing back from people can feel so heavy - I wonder if maybe they have personal things coming up for them too?

I am so glad you have @MissGremlin, she's incredibly kind and helpful... as are you. You've got each other's backs - remember that. 💛

I’ve just woken up because Pix was making noises and I thought she was going to be sick. I needed to still be asleep. I had 30 minutes to go until my alarm went off. Now I’m wide awake.

Feeling a little worried about today’s appointment and saying goodbye to the safety net I had. It’s going to be an emotional day.

My psych did say if I wasn’t up for it just to email her and say it’s Telehealth. I really don’t want to do the drive but I need to go for myself. Plus after the connection from the last in person appointment I think I really need that connection again.

My back is sore so I’m hoping these other tablets help. I can’t take them in an empty stomach though and I have nothing for breakfast. I was just going to call into maccas on my way.

I needed comfort last night after a big emotional day. So I slept with my weighted plushie. When I woke up it was still in my arms. That was comforting. I must have needed it.

It was distressing @AuntGlow. I just had to give her a little more food and just watch for anymore signs of vomiting. Now I know not to panic so quickly.

The pain relief it took last night helped big I don’t want to drive with that in my system so I have another different one to take today. So I’ll see how that goes. The physio would be great I just don’t have the money right now. Which is disappointing as she would have gotten me through work easier.

I have evolved over time but with my bipolar depression and it being so bad it changes things. It kinda erases the work that has been done until I come out of it. Then when I finally get through most of it all that I have grown with will come back. It’s really weird. It’s just a long process to get through it.

I did enjoy the beach on the last day of holidays so that was a good thing. It dod show a little bit of improvement. We will see how the beach goes today. Whether I can find mindfulness in that. Other than that there hasn’t been much other than actually have 2 1/2 days where I managed to achieve a lot. The rest of the time was mostly in bed though. I do have all that written down for my psych though.

I will definitely still see her online. She is just moving buildings 2 suburbs away. She can’t leave me!!! 😜

Its ok. One messages me during the night and is having a tough time so I haven’t messaged her with what is going on. I’ll keep it to myself. I should know not to rely on anyone. I will be there for her though. I’ll respond if I have time during the day but I really want today being about me and taking care of myself.

I’m sitting here waiting for the pet shop to open. The drive has been ok. I’m just sitting in the speed limit and taking it easy. I feel a little more relaxed driving than last time but I did take the anti inflammatory but also one of the pain killers instead of two. Maybe that’s helping with the relaxed feeling.

Also I’ve allowed myself plenty of time to get there. I’ll have enough time at the beach before my appointment and to be able to get lunch if I want it.

Im hoping the rest of the drive is just as easy. I do have school traffic through the blue mountains to deal with though. So that will be a bit stressful.

O should hopefully be there just after 11. It’ll give me time to unwind before my appointment. Last time I was rushed and anxious. I could have done with some more sleep though.

Pix was ok with mum and the needle. She went to walk away and mum just said her name sternly as I do and she cowered and had the needle. Mum said she yelped though maybe it was because she was giving it to her but she does with me as well. I was really worried about it. Mum has done it many times before with her past diabetic dog but this time for me it’s different m, it’s MY beautiful girl.

Hello @Captain24 sweet, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you today ❤️

Thanks @MissGremlin

Ive just been to the beach and now im about to go in

I’m not ok