I can’t cope

I’m a little proud of myself. I have just whipper snippered the back yard. I know it doesn’t sound like much but considering all I want to do is sit on the lounge and stare at a blank tv screen, it’s a massive task. Also my backyard isn’t small! I have stopped a few times to come in and check on Pix but that doesn’t matter it’s done.

Now I am going to have a go at mowing it. I may not be able to finish it but even if I do some of it that will be ok. I really need to get it down though so that snakes don’t come.

I have done the front and back yards, plus weeded to front garden. It has been a really productive day. I am tired and very sore.

While it’s been productive it has really been a great day.

Pixie is doing so much better, she didn’t need any pain relief today which is awesome. She has even been climbing the stairs to get on the lounge and bed which is a huge achievement. She also ate her dinner and stood there while I gave her her needle. She was a really good girl and I’m a little proud of her.

Im waiting to hear back from work as to whether I can have the week off for my surgery. I’m hoping my boss checks it tomorrow. I need to know. I don’t like the whole unanswered questions.

Im feeling pretty alone at the moment so I think it’s probably best to go to bed.

@Captain24 it's a very scary time for you hun, I think it's totally understandable that you're in a bit of a freeze and struggling to engage in self-care. Really glad to read that Pix is doing better!! Eating, climbing stairs, tail perking up - so reassuring to hear!! What a lil trooper she is haha.

I'm sorry that things are up in the air a bit re: work. Fingers crossed, because I think having the surgery sooner could be very beneficial for you! No one wants to be stuck in waiting-mode, but especially us ADHDers! 😒

Fingers crossed 🤞

Kudos on the accomplishments today too! Your garden looking freshly groomed is probably helpful for your psyche too, and I imagine that the movement and time spent focusing has been a boon to your mental state. I'm proud of you too 😊

Hope you get some good rest tonight, maybe all the yard work will have helped you get a bit tuckered out and make it easier to nod off!! Sleep well hun 💜

It is scary. @Jynx. It’s 1:15am and she just went out to the toilet. It’s an odd time for her to do that but she was taking a little while so I got up to check on her. She was fine but it scared me! She is peeking up more and more. It’ll take a few days to get back to her normal self but she was really sick. She is a tough little bugger though.

It’s hard. I’m there for Pix all the way but my MH is still just as bad. At least today I could accomplish something so that is really good. I wrote down what I did and what happened yesterday, what I did, what I ate, what was going on.. all things to check and see what happens the day before something like this happens. See if there is some sort of pattern. That’s from my psych. It does feel good as it looks much better. It has become a little overgrown since being on holidays and have a big of rain while we were away. I need to keep on top of it for snakes.

Having surgery sooner will give me more answer quickly. Find out if the cells have grown back. I just wish my boss would do his job and check this stuff.

I fell asleep pretty quickly so that was good. I’m just awake now though. Hopefully I can go back to sleep. I have an alarm set for Pixies meal times so if I sleep in it’ll wake me up.

Thanks for responding. Thank you.

Hi @Captain24 ,

so good to hear Pixie is doing a lot better and appearing brighter again. 🙂

Well done on the gardening!

Just food for thought re: time off for surgery - if you run out of sick leave and have to take leave without pay for work, you can apply to centrelink for income support whilst you are medically unable to work and can’t get paid through work: https://my.gov.au/en/services/work/recently-unemployed/payments-to-help-if-you-re-unemployed/jobseeker-payment You can even apply up to 13 weeks in advance - eg with a planned surgery & recovery period.

Did I read correctly that your psych has offered to charge a discounted rate due to the current situation with your mental health and financial hardship? 😍

It’s all good my surgery is just minor at this stage and it’s only a week off. I just don’t have a lot of sick leave built up as I’ve used it as MH days. I just can’t do that anymore. It wouldn’t have been a problem except for Pix being sick! @AlwaysMyself. Also he only gives a couple of days off and I’d have to go back to work quickly. I did that last time and had a heap of complications. I’m wondering if going back so quick is what caused the complications. Driving on really rough roads with a seatbelt. I’m hoping with a couple of extra days off it may help with it physically. It did mess me around really bad mentally with all the hormones that came with it. I’m not even through it yet and to start all over again is a bit scary.

If I need the next surgery it’ll have to be long service leave.

My psych did discount my appointment. That’s was so nice of her. She also offered next week as well but I felt really bad and wouldn’t accept it. I wouldn’t call it hardship it’s just a really tough at the moment, this pay and the next pay. Plus surgery bills on top! If Pix didn’t cost me nearly $3000 I would be alright!

How are things going for you?

Hey @Cuddlebear

I forgot to tag you over here. Sorry there has been a lot going on for me in the last 2 weeks, that’s why it slipped my mind.

Hi @Captain24

Dropping by to let you know I’m thinking of you, Pix and Jett

hoping this gives you a smile

Thanks @Flutterbug9

She seems to be doing well at the moment. She is a little lethargic right now, I’m not sure if it’s because I just gave her a bath, just normal or if it’s the insulin. Just keeping a close eye on her.

I’ve just done some things around the house, now I’m going to have a shower and wash my hair, come back and check on her and then jump in the bath.

How are you going?

I reckon "financial hardship" can be temporary - it doesnt have to be longterm/enduring to count in my books @Captain24 🤗.

I'm glad you were able to accept the discount for last session, and that you have the *option* to accept it this next session too if you want/need to. 🥰

Hopefully Pix's energy picks up soon and isnt a cause for concern. 🤗

My dogs are "couch potatoes" so i am used to dogs who are sedate and sleep all day 😅. Such a difference.

@Flutterbug9 i love that meme 🥰😆.

My female dog chases and bites her tail too 😅🤣. I took a video of it once for like-minded workmates to describe how our project was feeling lol.