I can’t cope

Okay, knowing she is brighter and more alert is very positive - so let's hold on to this knowledge (if we can?) @Captain24

I really hear you, lovely. This all sounds so, so hard. You're allowed to feel all that you are feeling.

I am here to keep you company.

I know that nothing will simply take away how hard this is (and nor should it) - but I am wondering what could be a focus to get you through tonight?

I know you said that you're going to bed, but can we create a self-care plan for this evening?

Relieving to hear the vet said Pix was a bit brighter and healthier last night. Hoping that helped at least a little with the ability to self-talk against the overhwhelming anxieties @Captain24 . Hope you got some sleep.

Thinking of you and @MissGremlin today. If i am recalling correctly, today is when you both have challenging appointments to attend. Sending extra hugs of safety, care and wishes for the people you get to be understanding, compassionate and gentle.

Hello @Captain24 sweet, how are you feeling today? Have you had any updates from the vet this morning?

Thankyou @AlwaysMyself, I already know how my meeting is going to go but it's just a matter of going through the motions.

I’m thinking of you today as well @MissGremlin. Im praying (if that’s ok) that they have some answers and solutions for you!

Thanks @AlwaysMyself. The vet rang me and Pix is doing really well. They have started her diabetic curve and will keep me updated during the day. They did send me a text message with how much the weekend cost they said $3600 with a blood transfusion. I was in shock. Called mum and said I need help, messaged the vet back and said when did she need the transfusion. They got the wrong patient! So far Pix is at $1300! That’s affordable! I have even booked my psych back in for next week! When she checks her emails it’s all over the place but I’m hoping she understands them and keeps me booked for next week and bills me now!

Pix is going to need insulin. Probably a low dose but it’s still needed. So that is heartbreaking but I guess I just have to deal with it as it comes. It’s important that she gets the best care I can give her. She is my life.

I have settled a little bit. I am overwhelmed still with what today brings and what routine I need to put Pix into. But mum will be there to help and we have gone through it in the past, many years ago but at least we have an idea of what to expect.

Im trying to tell myself that one got this.

Just trying to clean the house, do the washing and bath Jett before I get Pix back sometime today.

Hey @MissGremlin

Just tagged you in a post above

Thankyou @Captain24 sweet and yes that's ok ❤️.

That's really good to hear that Pix is doing well and I'm glad you've booked your psych for next week.

I'm glad your mum is going to help through all of this. Pix is such a special girl and lucky to have you to look after her.

I know it's going to take time to adjust to a new routine and it's probably going to be tough at times but you've got this sweet, i know you do ❤️.

Oh gosh, that would have been such a confusing shock hearing the incorrect vet bill and transfusion!! Glad you questioned it and they realised they looked at the wrong pet account 😊. Yay for being able to afford the psych next week 🥰, lock that money in for the appointment lol. 😊

I suspect the need for insulin will be a lot more stressful and burdonsome for you than Pix. Once she is in routine of when food time is and that she gets a small injection too then she will adapt and see it as normal. Part of the benefit of not having a pre-frontal cortex in the brain!

One of my dogs has an eye cream twice daily. He doesnt *like* it and it took a bit for him to get used to us "touching his eyeball", but now he just knows it is routine and even lets my mum do it when i'm away 😊. Compared to if i have to give him anti-inflammatory liquid and he squirms to avoid it in his mouth because its not something we need to do often so it isnt "routine" or "normal" (only a handful of times a year).

Is the variable work shift timings the biggest challenge to a routine timing of feeding & insulin for you?

The vet couldn’t apologise enough @AlwaysMyself. She must be really tired though as it has been a big weekend at the surgery and she was on call from Friday night until this morning! I have posted a review on their Facebook page and going to put one on the community page. I don’t do that kind of thing but they deserve it after the treatment and care both Pix and I have received. Pix is going to need a regular vet so I’m going to use the one she is seeing today and the one over the weekend. I trust them both to care for Pix correctly. The vet over the weekend said Pix is really lovable, it may not be return from her as much 😂. But she said she had Pix sitting on her lap. So she has been looked after.

Pix is really stubborn and I don’t think she will work with the routine! I’m hoping she does but I just can’t see it happening. It’s another challenge I’m going to have to deal with.

Pix use to just lick the liquid anti-inflammatory out of the syringe but she wouldn’t the other night I had to grab her and shove it in. I think all the poking and prodding she has had in the last few days has made things harder.

Yeah work is a problem and being babysat. I need a routine that’s going to work in with me and mum. Plus walking times and stuff. Times that mum can pick Pix up to give her breakfast and insulin. There is a lot to consider and that’s why we need to do it together. I know when we had Mish it was 8 am and pm meals everyday. But whatever we have to do to keep Pix alive and well.

How are you going today?

Let me know how you go? @MissGremlin

I’ve asked my psych to bill me when she gets my 3 emails! All saying different things! But I’m so glad that I have the chance to see her and possibly in person for the last time. I haven’t told her that bit yet. She gets excited when it’s in person!

We have to work on this together for the best way for Pix, mum and me. Mum absolutely adores Pix so that helps a lot and knows how much my dogs mean to me. She will help however she can.

It’s going to take a while for it all to settle down. I know it’s permanent but I’m still hoping that it’s only temporary. Think the worst hope for the best!

I hope today is ok as possible for you. I’m thinking of you.

Apparently so far today she is doing even better. @AuntGlow. They have started her glucose curve to see what level of insulin she needs so I’ll have a lot more information this afternoon. It’s still going to be very challenging, stressful and a lot of work. I’m still not coping with it all. I still cry frequently, even right now. We know how much I don’t usually cry and don’t like it but I just can’t stop the tears.

I just went to bed with Jett and my weighted plushy. I did sleep reasonably well, I am just so tired. All the stress, no sleep Saturday night, to stressed to get much sleep Sunday.. it’s all adding up.

I am currently trying to clean my house so it’s semi respectable. As for self-care I don’t really have anything. My whole focus is on Pix and I don’t fit into the mix. I don’t matter right now, she does. It’s a lot for her to take on too.