I can’t cope

My poor baby @tyme. I’m heartbroken. I’m just crying. She’s my beautiful girl. Hopefully I got her in early enough. I’m praying so hard that it’s not permanent. I don’t find out what dose of insulin or how often until I see the nurse tomorrow. The vet couldn’t tell me as they are still monitoring her. The vet rang me while I was waiting for my gyno appointment. I had to hold myself together to go in.

Im really struggling tonight. My reason for living isn’t with me tonight. The last time she spent a night away from us was when she had knee surgery over 2 years ago. That was hard but ok as she wasn’t sick. If I had have left it over the weekend she would have died.

Jett just keeps barking. He has barely stopped all day. The barking is why everyone hates my dogs.

I’ve just cancelled my dietitian appointment as I just can’t afford it on top of everything else.

I thought my world was falling apart, now it is. I can’t stop thinking about my baby. I love her so much, more than anything. She is my rock, my saviour, my baby.

I hear your stress @Captain24 I know how much Pix means to you and how difficult it will be tonight.

Have you been able to tell your mum? I wonder if she can provide some comfort?

What does tomorrow look like for you? Will you be going to the vet or do you have to wait until you hear back from them?

My thoughts are with you, Pix and Jett. I know how hard it is on Jett too.

I rang mum when I left Pix at the vet. I was almost hysterical on the phone. I could barely talk or drive. She has checked in on me before and after my gyno appointment @tyme

They will give me a call as to what time I can pick her up. Then I’ll find out more details on the care that she needs and how to do it. I’m hoping it’s just one needle a day but I’m pretty sure it’ll be 2. Mums old dog was 2. Plus meals have to be at the same time everyday which is hard.

I have to make an appointment to see the vet on Tuesday. If Pix doesn’t do well over the weekend she said she will fit me in on the Monday.

Jett is struggling as well. He is very sooky and clingy. The only time he isn’t touching me is when he is out barking.

I am so tired and exhausted emotionally and physically. I need to go to bed but I can’t because I don’t have Pix with me to be at my feet.

I literally have tears running off my face. My shirt is wet.

How did fire cracker go with her first full week of school?

Awwww @Captain24 ,

I know how much you love your baby. She is your protective factor and she's saved you many many times. It's totally understandable you are crying - and it's okay to cry.

You are crying because you have a deep connection with Pix and you love her dearly.

At this time, what you can do to help you through the moment? It doesn't have to be big. ANYTHING that will make you feel that tad better. Tell Jett you love him. I'm sure he senses change. You don't want to have him stressed out too much either.

My eldest brought home a valentines day mug for me today. It was very cute and unexpected. Thank god she loves school this year. She's always hated it.

As for the little one, I told her last night I would keep her home from school today. She said, "NO! I Said NO! I'm going to school!"... so yeah... I guess she likes it? She's slowly getting used to it, but still very tired. She's tiny and the smallest in the school. Everyone knows her as the kid with her uniform down to her ankles practically!!!

What's one nice thing you will do for yourself now?

@Captain24 I'm so sorry to hear about Pix, how utterly devastating! 🥺

I am sending so many hugs and healing vibes your way. Keep it simple and take it one step at a time if you can. You and your wee fuzzballs are in my thoughts tonight 💜

She is a really special little girl. @tyme. She is so different, the love I have for her is different. I dearly love Jett and not any less than I love Pix. The love quantity is the same but she is just different.

I have held him a lot of the day. He has licked the tears from my face. He is a snuggly little boy and I love him dearly.

As for anything nice… I don’t have anything. I can’t do anything. My kitchen is a messs and even cupboard doors are open and I can’t be bothered to shut them.

I’ve just gotten into bed and now Jett is waiting for Pix. It makes me feel so bad. I can’t do anything to help with that just hold him.

That is so sweet of the eldest. Im glad she is looking school and the same for the firecracker. Sounds like she is enjoying herself!

I need all the healing vibes I can get. @Jynx. The pancreatitis I can handle. My dog before Pix use to get it. It’s the diabetes that needs to go away. I need it to be transient. I need it to be only for a few weeks. It is so hard and expensive to manage. But I don’t want to put her through it. I don’t want meal times to be tainted with needles. I’m really scared. Really scared and absolutely shattered.

All those thoughts, feelings and fears are so valid. It's a parent's worse nightmare @Captain24 Remember, it's not your fault.

I hope you find a way to have rest tonight so you have the energy to see to whatever Pix needs tomorrow. I wonder if she's had this for a while and hence all her medical episodes recently? She sounds so vulnerable at the moment.

You gotta be strong for her.

Thinking of and wishing best for both of you

@MissGremlin @Captain24

@Flutterbug9 thankyou sweet. Sending you love and hugs, always here for you ❤️.