I can’t cope

This doesn’t work for me at all but have you tried writing your thoughts down. Not necessarily a journal just the thoughts that are running through? @MissGremlin

Another suggestion from my psych. Just simple things like, I am a failure, I don’t want to …. I’m not coping.. There is also an app. ‘How we feel’ it has a checkin and a lot of feelings so if you are unsure of what you are feeling it can help.

I know it’s helpful for some.

@Captain24 i do write things out sometimes, usually by writing poetry.

Thankyou for the suggestion sweet ❤️.

I’m so sorry, I forgot about the poetry @MissGremlin. At least it’s something.

How’s your colouring going?

@Captain24 it's ok sweet.

I haven't done any for the past few days.

What have you been doing instead? Or just nothing? @MissGremlin. No judgement of it’s nothing. At home all I have done is sit on the lounge and stare at a blank tv screen!

@Captain24 i can't even think right now. I'm sorry sweet, I'm going to try to sleep.

Thankyou for being here and chatting to me, I hope you have a good night ❤️.

It’s ok @MissGremlin. I’m really hoping sleep

finds you soon. I hope it’s restful for you.

I’m really tired. I’m hoping I will go straight to sleep but I’m not sure that that is going to happen.

It’s been a rough kind of day with my parents. I did enjoy my alone time at the beach, even though it was that cold I was turning purple!

But my brother is causing a lot of stress. He stresses me at the best of times but he is hurting mum. He has always been the golden child and I was the nothing child. He won’t do anything unless his ex/partner allows it. All mum has asked for is dinner. Just one dinner with her son. He doesn’t like my dogs but pix really despises him. If he wasn’t such an arsehole to her it wouldn’t be as bad. My dogs will be at dinner. It’s at where we are staying so I’m not leaving them anywhere.I know all this sounds minor but he just has no respect or thought for anyone. I don’t care if I don’t see him, I’d actually rather not. My mental state is far from being able to cope with him. But I guess I’ve already shutdown so I guess I’m already there.

sorry that was just a ramble but I’m just really stressing out right now

@Captain24 sounds like you're mood has really crashed, being around your brother this evening.

I'm curious... you say your mum sees your brother as the "golden child", but also that he isnt treating her with respect or being flexible with his demands. Where as from what I get the impression is that you are very self-sacrificing for your parents wants over your own.

I would have thought that this would lead your mum to see you as the easier child and more pleasant one?

(Even if parents dont verbalise preferences between children!)

I wonder if you're being too hard on yourself there?

I know its so easy for me to see myself as the "burdonous child" because when my sister visits she helps my mum with so much physical things around the yard. Where as I'm the one with all the MH problems that have cost a fortune over the years, and doesnt have the physical health to be helpful either.

I voiced this once to my mum, and she acknowledged that my sister is really good with helping out physically; but that i provide her with social support, care and companionship which my sister isnt very atune with. We have different skillsets in how we help my mum.

Here’s the thing @AlwaysMyself. He isn’t even coming until tonight. I haven’t seen him yet!

Just what she says, bro is smarter than me but just never tried, bro is a better swimmer than me, bro is good with dogs I’m scared, bro is good at being sarcastic (mum sees that as a good thing). It’s always been bro this… bro that… bro can… There is only recently that I have been a good child and that’s because of my job and of my house.

There has always been comparison and he always came out on top. Right now she is worried about him with his ex/partner. She is manipulating him and he is allowing it.

I do do a lot for them and I have pointed that out in the last few days, I have also pointed out how much they do for me too. I’m hoping she will see that. But when her and my brother get together it’s put everyone around them down. They are so much alike which is not a good thing because they aren’t very nice people.

Im glad your mum has separated both of your strengths. To acknowledge what child provides and where. That to me sounds like respect and love. Well I think anyway, I’m not really sure what that is though, just hoping that it is. I wouldn’t really know.

Anyway… have you got any plans today?