I can’t cope

Hey @tyme

I did tag you in a post of what would happen if I had have said I wanted to go alone! Reading it will give you a little more understanding.

I think the not smoking isn’t helping. Yeah mum can drive, what they wanted was on my shopping list to get. I don’t know why she had to come. It was literally the supermarket at 9 o’clock at night!

It was good but not as good as I need. It was kinda just going about the motions. Even walking the dogs last night and watching the ocean isn’t doing the lift that I want or need. She has come for the first few days. Then I’ll get the rest of the time to myself. It was really nice having her there though.

That's so sweet that she wants to hug her because she is cute. It’s so cool that she is trying really hard to be good. It sounds like everyone is loving her. I really hope that continues and she can enjoy it and not get too tired and the real firecracker comes through! 😂. I mean that in the best way!

That’s awesome that she is now included into conversations. It sounds like a little grown up family.

Im not sure what is happening today. It’s a bit overcast and we have had a shower of rain.

How have you been?

Hello @Captain24 sweet, how are you feeling today?

You are so right @Jynx. That’s my mother. I had issues at my old job and was getting demoted. Mum was due for major surgery and wanted to cancel it because it was to much pressure for her with what was going on. She didn’t need the stress. She kept saying that she couldn’t handle it.

There isn’t really much on this beach. Just a lot of seaweed at the moment. The beach I go to when I see my psych is covered in rocks. They are beautiful.

I stuffed up this morning and took my nighg

meds. Im feeling so tired and wonky.

O also found this little bush track at one of the places we went. So I climbed up it and went to some memorial place. It wasn’t very interesting and o didn’t even think to take photos of it. Then I had an 1 hour walk back to the car. I just rang mum and said that didnt know where I was but a sign was leading me to a car park, I just wasn’t sure which one!! 😂

Hey @Captain24 ,

Argh.. joys of parents. I guess we can only make the most of things while they are around, no matter how hard it is.

I'm glad to hear that your having the company of your friend was nice. I can imagine it giving you just that little respite from your own head and the head of your parents.

Are you staying in different houses as your parents? Or in the same house but different rooms?

I really hope you can make the most of this holiday. It's a break that may not 'fix' things, but it can give some relief.

The little one came to see me earlier today. She said school is very tiring because she needs to be good. She said she and another girl were rolling all over the floor during a lesson yesterday. All the others were standing or sitting but she was rolling around... I'm thinking, "Yep! Introducing the REAL kid!" That's 100% her!

My sister said she feel asleep on the 5 min car ride home yesterday - she's seriously buggered.

Oh, is your bro on this trip too? I remember you saying he may be coming?

Take care if I'm not around when you are around later.

Hey @tyme

Yeah I try sometimes it’s just really hard. Especially when I don’t have the capacity to take on their bullshit right now.

I just come home from spending a few hours at the beach with her. It was really good and made me forget about my world for a little while. We just chatted and stuff. We also talked about how bad things are for both of us. How her being at the beach for a couple of days has really helped her, plus seeing me and just being around me. I told her the same thing, that having her at the beach in the afternoons has been amazing. I have enjoyed it. I didn’t tell her that I didn’t want her there though but I am so glad that she did come. It has been really good for me.

I am trying to take things in, trying to be mindful when I’m walking around and stuff. I found this path through the bush today and thought I would see where it leaded too. I climbed it and got to a regular path. I rang mum and said I didn’t know where I was but I was on a path to a car park. So her and dad walked from where I left them to head to the car. Pix was in the pram so she was fine but Jett wouldn’t walk, he was looking for me as I had left him. I think he was worried that I wouldn’t come back. The car park turned out to be the car park that was where the car was. I was waiting for them and you should have seen Jett when he saw me! It was so cute.

I love that she admits that she is trying v to be good, she k odd it does t come easy! 😂 I think that’s adorable that she has a friend rolling on the floor with her, sounds like it could be interesting if they do become friends! Leading each other on! It was day 3 so she can only hold it for so long!

Im guessing a lot of them are. They aren’t use to the length of the day or the structure!

My bro lives her, we are seeing him Sunday night for dinner and that’s probably it. So that’ll be good! I can try and handle a couple of hours of him. I’m staying at the same place as them. I have a living room that I can spend time away from them.

Do you know what stupid me did this morning? I took my night meds! If has been so hard to stay awake all day! I’m finally coming around bug I have nothing to take for tonight! Oops.

Hoping you are still around!

I took my night meds this morning so I’m really tired! @MissGremlin

I spent a couple of hours at the beach with my friend and that was good. I am really struggling being around mum and dad but I have to try and focus on enjoying the things we are doing. It is a bit hard though.

How are you going?

@Captain24 oh no, hopefully you can get a good night's sleep tonight.

I'm glad it was good with your friend at the beach. I can understand it would be tough but you are doing well sweet. How's Pix and Jett going?

I'm just doing my best to keep pushing through.

Pix and Jett are having a great time. @MissGremlin

I hope pushing through is helping you. Anything I can do?

@Captain24 glad they are having a great time ☺️.

It's hard to push through at the moment but I've been staying connected here which helps. Just you being here and chatting means alot so thankyou sweet ❤️

Hahahaa! You sound like me! I'm forever taking my night meds in the day, despite having a webster pack that is CLEARLY labelled. I serious am on autopilot all the time.

When reading your post, I thought it was so precious that you could spend that time with your mum. (Even if you preferred not to!). Put it this way... you'll never that those hours back again. I'm glad it helped both you and her. It sounds like she is sitting through a lot of stress herself. I'm sure it's not easy for her. Did your dad go with you too?

Also, how cute must Jett and Pix be! They must LOVE it there with you.

As for your bro.. sounds like small doses is enough, eh? I'm surprised but also not surprised that he lives there but hasn't seen you all yet. Oh well. I guess he's still with her?

What are you up to now? @Captain24