I can’t cope

Hey @MissGremlin

Thank you..

How’s your nothing day going?

@Captain24 you're welcome sweet. I hope things are going ok for you this morning with what you need to get done.

I haven’t done everything @MissGremlin

Washing done but not dry yet, shopping, Chiro, Jett’s appointment, food prepped. Iv head lunch and now I’m going to have a shower and go to bed.

my kitchen is a mess and I haven’t unpacked the dishwasher or cleaned

It’s taken a lot. More than I had to give. Respect with my realisations this morning and beating myself up.

Im guessing you’re not doing to well.

@Captain24 you've done really well to get those things done sweet and I'm proud of you for doing so. The washing will dry and the dishes and cleaning can wait until later. Enjoy a shower and I hope you can get a good sleep.

Try to be gentle with yourself sweetheart, you've done your best and that's more than enough.

No I'm not doing well at all but it's ok (I'm safe for now). I'm just laying on my lounge with a movie on.

I hope you can find some comfort with Casper. @MissGremlin or maybe a nap?

Im sorry I can’t be there for you but please know that I’m thinking of you and care

I’m just about to walk into work. I’m really not looking forward to it. But I’m here.

My GP appointment for tomorrow has been cancelled. I was going to have tomorrow night off with a certificate from him but now I have to work tomorrow night too. It made tonight a little easier but now it’s changed it a little bit.

Hey @Captain24 I'm around for a little bit tonight and wanted to check in

I just wanted to let you know that I relate to that guilt when you realise you missed an anniversary for a loved one who's passed, I think it's only natural that this will happen but it's clear that it's not because you've forgotten about them or that you love them any less - you had just been sharing about your nan as you mentioned. Sometimes life just gets away from us

With your gp tomorrow, could you maybe look into getting a drs cert online? I know I've done that when I wasn't able to get in to see my gp

Ah, sorry to hear the GP appointment for tomorrow has been cancelled @Captain24 😢. You can get a certificate for work from a pharmacist or Urgent Care Clinic usually. I know it might feel a little ... uncertain (?) of how they will react when it is Mental Health not physical health - but it is very legit and if you're honest with them about how things are and that you had a GP appointment that was cancelled, I would be very surprised if they don't give you a medical certificate! There may be limits to how many days they can do them for. I think my pharmacist was only able to do them for 2 days - but then I could go to GP if I needed more.

So in my distressed mental breakdown, I made a mistake. For some reason I was thinking it’s March. I haven’t missed nans anniversary it’s at the end of this month @AlwaysMyself @Ru-bee @MissGremlin @TunedIn Im not the bad granddaughter that I thought I was.

This distressed mental state is really causing issues. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. I can’t focus, can’t concentrate and can’t think. That’s distressing in itself. I think I’m having a mental breakdown. 😢

Work wasn’t too bad. I went by pretty quickly. I will go tonight. I don’t have to go for two weeks after tonight. If I had the Dr appointment I would have called in sick but I really need to save my sick leave for my surgery(s). Plus work is getting really picky at what certificates they will accept. Which is hard as you can’t get into a doctor. They cancelled my appointment for today but haven’t been able to fit me in for a new one yet. I have to wait a few days!

Thank you all for being so kind and caring. I’m really sorry that my world is crashing down and I’m struggling. I know I get too much but I appreciate you all checking in.

I'm glad i can be here for you while your world feels like its crashing down around you @Captain24 . Thank you for letting me be a part of holding off some of the rubble and finding you where you are at underneath it. 🥰

I'm glad you haven't missed the anniversary because i know how much it means to you and how bad you felt when you thought you had missed it. However, i also do not think you would be a "bad granddaughter" if you did forget it on/around the day -- its not like you forget who she is or why she is important to you! I think was it AuntGlow or Ru-bee who mentioned that you've been talking about her which clearly shows how much you love her and honour her and how important she is to you. 🥰😍. Sometimes i think its remembering people when they are NOT around and when there is NO obvious reminder if them that really shows honour and love for them even more.

I'm glad work wasnt too bad 🙂 and hope this helps with encouraging you about going to work tonight. I'm wondering whether your employment contract (eg Award or Enterprise Agreement) outlines what is considered allowed for personal leave evidence?

E.g. my employer allows certificates from any doctor/gp, pharmacist, nurse/urgent-care-clinic, allied health professional (for appointments), and even statutory declarations. Stat-decs really surprised me because they do not involve any medical person - but i guess as long as the pattern of illness isnt a cause for their concern they understand that sometimes we can't get into the GP (and GPs cant back-date them).

If they will only accept a Medical Doctor (not a nurse or pharmacist) that really does make it hard 😭.