I can’t cope

Feeling left out and disconnected is an awful feeling... I make it my intention to be inclusive, because I know what that feels like too. I am sorry you have had experiences where you have felt like that as well @AlwaysMyself. And I am sorry you are going through this at work @Captain24, that must make being there really, really tough.

I am curious, where are you noticing the most connection in your life right now? 💛

Just to be included @tyme.

Im just really not ok and it hurts. It hurts that im not included at work. Im going because i have to but that im around people. I’m not able to find any joy anywhere. (Other than seeing a koala!)

It’s really dehydrated and it’s only young. It doesn’t look well but the 2 guys have taken it to the vet.

Are you ok?

The pics are through! @AlwaysMyself

At school I came down the stairs and heard my ‘friends’ say… let’s go before captain gets here. So I wasn’t included.

I don’t think anyone would care to know me anyway. I’m not much.

Im sorry you went through that.

Hey @AuntGlow. I’m on my phone so I’m not capable of responding to 2 posts so you’ll get a double sorry.

It is hard and no I can’t see outside of it. I’m scared as to how long it’s going to take to run its course. Last time it was a really long time. Im talking nearly a year. I didn’t have to right support last time though.

She didn’t really say much. Just if I’m going to sit and stare at the wall to try and remember to change rooms and do it in the front room. To continually have a mars bar in sight. To use my weighted plushie. To use the dogs. Just gentle things and to not push myself. Just let myself be.

It’s really tough being there in the first place @AuntGlow. The forcing myself to get there is so hard. I’m definitely not enjoying it. Then on top of it, being excluded. It’s not a place I want to be at.

I guess the most connection is kinda with my mum. I’ve talked to her a few times while driving, including when I left my psych appointment. I just make random excuses and talk about other stuff. She has no idea what is going on inside of me and would never ask and I wouldn’t tell her anyway, I’d only get judgement. I would really say it’s a connection I guess, but at least I’m having conversations with someone.

As for positive connection, I’ve got nothing.

I know I’m not a good person and that I’m a horrible friend.

My friend from hospital sent me a message the other day saying ‘hope you are ok?’

I responded yesterday with ‘no not at all. 2 appointments with (psychologist) in two days. At 3:16 today she liked it with a sad face. No follow up. No nothing. It hurts a little. I do know that she is struggling as her son and his wife have just moved out and she is lonely. But I have asked her how she was going. I have asked if there is anything I can do. But all I get is a sad face.

Maybe I’m being selfish, maybe a just deserve it, maybe I’m just a horrible person. I knew I wasn’t worth knowing. I’m nothing, I’m a nobody. Why do I even exist? I’m not worth anything. Everyone around me (in real life) doesn’t want to know me. Work… anyone..

Sorry everyone. I think I need a break. I’m horrible, I’m being horrible, I’m negative and I’m selfish.

Im just not worth being around.

I’ll leave you all in peace.

Hello @Captain24 sweetheart, you're not a horrible person and I'm sorry that you feel that way.

I am glad you are around and it's a pleasure knowing you here.

Sending you love and hugs, I'm here for you ❤️

Oh, lovely. You are not a horrible friend at all. I understand this feeling though - when something happens to trigger a thought or feeling that maybe we aren't enough - it can feel so, so real when we have a relational wound. @Captain24

But please know that you are absolutely worthy, exactly as you are.

We all care about you very much.

What can we do to create a sense of safety right now? Just one little thing.

Can Pix or Jett give you a cuddle? 💛

Heya @Captain24 @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself ,

Thinking of you all.