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I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 9:12 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

No she hasn’t @tyme. What’s it about?

It was actually a relief to know that I got in the ‘scale’ somewhere. Not a good somewhere but at least I ‘belong’ O felt like I was losing my mind, like I was going crazy. I was scared. I am still scared but different, because now I know where I’m sitting it’s quite scary in itself.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator30 Jan 2026, 9:23 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 , I think Radical Acceptance is an ACT skill. I didn't understand it for a long time, but after some experiences, I've learnt to understand it. Basically, it's accepting that there are just some things you cannot change and cannot control. Therefore, your energy focuses on the things you can control. A bit like the analogy: You may not like the weather, but you can't change it. However, you can wear the right clothes to suit the weather!

@Captain24 , In a way, knowing where you are allows you to work with things. It's about acknowledging what's happening and finding ways to do something differently. But yes, it can be scary knowing how precarious things are!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 9:32 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

So like, I know there is a lot that needs to be done around the house, but I can’t push myself to do it and I can’t change that but I can be gentle instead? @tyme

I knew something wasn’t right but I didn’t know how bad.

Im really sorry

In response to: I can’t cope

AlwaysMyselfSenior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 9:38 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Wow, I am so sorry your work over-reacted like that @Captain24 .

If you want to hear a comparison story from me last year, feel free - but I will put it in a box as optional.

TW: severe SI

Content/trigger warning

Last year I had a lot of workplace-triggered stress causing SI crisis. Two people in HR knew there was MH distress due to these work issues, including a history of SI - they were supportive. Something had happened at work, I tried to call one of them but no answer. Next day they called me to see what I had called for (they'd been in a meeting). I don't recall how the conversation went, but I ended up telling them I was calling the previous day because I was in distress, but instead because neither HR person was available I decide to drive home from the office because I could not stop thinking about suiciding from workplace-access-means, and since someone would be at my house I decided that was the safer place to work that day.

She didn't over-react. She didn't under-react either though, I don't think. She instead setup a system where if I messaged her to say it was urgent she would excuse herself from whatever she was doing if possible (e.g. can't if she was with an Exec!) and call me immediately. I never had to use this, but this was her way of ensuring I would be able to be safe at work. She supported me in my decision to stay working in the office generally because I needed the mental distraction that week whilst no one would be at my house during the day (if I took sick leave), and also supported the decision the following week for me to take a week off work when a different unrelated incident of verbal abuse triggered another crisis-level SI reaction - but this time my mother would be at home during the week and knew about it to keep me safe.

This is the same HR person who was glad to hear when I said I was taking time off at the start of this year for my MH. Even though she has transferred back to her old role in another department, she still said I could keep in touch with how things go - and I know she was genuine.

I admitted to active suicidal struggles in the workplace and still not told to cease working 😅 -- such a contrast to how your workplace handled crying!

Last year I had a lot of workplace-triggered stress causing SI crisis. Two people in HR knew there was MH distress due to these work issues, including a history of SI - they were supportive. Something had happened at work, I tried to call one of them but no answer. Next day they called me to see what I had called for (they'd been in a meeting). I don't recall how the conversation went, but I ended up telling them I was calling the previous day because I was in distress, but instead because neither HR person was available I decide to drive home from the office because I could not stop thinking about suiciding from workplace-access-means, and since someone would be at my house I decided that was the safer place to work that day.She didn't over-react. She didn't under-react either though, I don't think. She instead setup a system where if I messaged her to say it was urgent she would excuse herself from whatever she was doing if possible (e.g. can't if she was with an Exec!) and call me immediately. I never had to use this, but this was her way of ensuring I would be able to be safe at work. She supported me in my decision to stay working in the office generally because I needed the mental distraction that week whilst no one would be at my house during the day (if I took sick leave), and also supported the decision the following week for me to take a week off work when a different unrelated incident of verbal abuse triggered another crisis-level SI reaction - but this time my mother would be at home during the week and knew about it to keep me safe. This is the same HR person who was glad to hear when I said I was taking time off at the start of this year for my MH. Even though she has transferred back to her old role in another department, she still said I could keep in touch with how things go - and I know she was genuine.I admitted to active suicidal struggles in the workplace and still not told to cease working -- such a contrast to how your workplace handled crying!

You do not put any pressure on me @Captain24 ! You have never told me you expect or need me to be here supporting you. I am here because I want to. I like that you tag me. Please do continue to tag me!

I've been unwell with SI for 25 years. I reckon I can handle being around someone else also with SI for awhile 😉 😋. It's refreshing that is not just me lol.

Yeah, emotions can bounce a bit between that shutdown/freeze zone and the "activated" zone. I think it's why I have been having more challenges "coping" in the past month since finishing work -- because I am no longer so exhausted all the time. I have space to feel a little bit more.

I am doing OK this evening. But I am going to head off now to have an early night to bed, as I didn't sleep well last night. had a good appointment with my counsellor today, but I am aware there are some feelings that may pop back up for me once I try to sleep - but hopefully they will be gentle in their grief and not distressing. Or else I may be back online if I can't sleep and become distressed lol. 😅 But so far i feel OK.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 9:47 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Wow.. what a really supportive work place @AlwaysMyself. I know that you’ve had a really hard time there but the fact that HR worked with your distress is amazing.

It’s been a really long time for me too. But now it feels like it’s just standard. Maybe one day I’ll get to the point where it doesn’t happen and I hope the same for you.

I hope you are able to find sleep gently and have a good night.

Thank you for being there for me

In response to: I can’t cope

JynxModerator30 Jan 2026, 10:09 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 I think coping with freeze-state is definitely benefited by that Radical Acceptance that tyme mentioned! Reducing the amount of pressure, of tasks on your to-do list, and pointing the small amount of energy you do have towards those more essential tasks.

Tell me a little bit about how you're trying to engage in the comfort and gentleness? What is your self-talk like at the moment?

I totally do hear you about feeling forgotten about. I promise you that we absolutely do still care, and we are sitting with our own frustrations about some of the changes. We can only share what we know, so yeah some responses might feel a bit 'scripted'. As things continue to evolve, the comms team are hoping to get as much information out to the community as possible, so we will continue pass on your feedback as we go.

But please know that your experiences and concerns aren't being ignored - we can see how many members are being impacted by how things are unfolding, and it's something we're continuing to discuss. So please feel free to continue sharing how you're feeling cos it truly does help - the more our members share and provide feedback about it, the more 'data' we have to act on.

I send you so many hugs darlin, the squishiest kind!! 💜

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 10:11 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Trying to talk myself into having a shower and going to bed. I need to get up early again tomorrow for work. I don’t want it to be as hard as this morning.

I don’t want to go to bed and I don’t want to go to sleep. It’s the sign of the end of the day which is a good thing but it’s also means a new day is going to start. That doesn’t bring much hope just more despair

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

MissGremlinSenior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 10:31 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

Hello @Captain24 sweet. Have you managed to get yourself into the shower?

I relate to the not wanting to go to bed and go to sleep. It's really hard to be in that space knowing that waking up is only going to bring more despair.

Know that I'm sitting with you sweetheart, sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 10:32 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I think I need to learn more about radical acceptance @Jynx

I did do that the last couple of days. I took so much off my list and only did the essentials. It was the only way I could cope.

Being gentle is that I accepted that I wasn’t able to do it all, that is a massive thing for me, and acknowledging that I did mange’s to get done what had to be done e was an achievement. Just allowing my self just to sit and stare at the wall if that’s all I have the capacity to do.

I have t really had much self talk in the last couple of days. Not since I seen my psych Wednesday. From Tuesday’s appointment up until Wednesday’s 5pm appointment it was self hatred. It was negative and nasty. But since then I have really had much. I don’t have a lot in the way of thoughts just a few feelings. It’s like I have just zoned out of life. It’s just blank and I’m just going through the motions that I have to go through. Not much in the way of emotions either just mainly frustration. People are frustrating me at work, on messenger. I’m frustrated that I feel nothing and just am not functioning like I have been. Actually doing the basics is really hard. If I didn’t have work I would probably be sitting on the lounge until all hours and doing nothing. I don’t like going to sleep as it means another day of no hop and nothing is coming.

Do I need to write my feedback in the other thread or are you just taking it off what I write? I blame SANE not you guys, you are just the frontline that is receiving it. I think (well hope) that you all still care but just have your hands tied. One good thing is that we can pretty much write anything and no one notices. Oh and even through all of this I haven’t had a check in email! That’s a good thing but shows how much is not getting heard! Being able to pretty much write anything is a bit scary though as it could be easily triggering.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor30 Jan 2026, 10:35 pm AEDT

Re: I can’t cope

I had a two minute shower and have just gotten into bed. I really need to go to sleep though as I was tired at work today and my alarm goes off at 4:30 in the morning again. They are big trucks to be driving while tired!

I hope you can get a little bit of peace and rest tonight @MissGremlin

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