I can’t cope

I did get rid of them, it was hard but I did it. They also checked in to see if I was ok. I told them not really but I’m getting support. @MissGremlin

Potato salad sounds nice. I like it but can’t make it. It never works for me. I need to put my dishwasher in but need to wait for gas to heat the hot water.

Do you have any other plans for the day?

@Captain24 you did so well to get rid of them, I know how hard it is. I'm glad they checked in with you aswell and it's so good that you are getting support as you truly deserve it.

I actually only made it for the first time myself a couple of weeks ago, but so far I've got it right everytime and it's been very yummy ☺️. I just have to pay attention to the potatoes when they are cooking otherwise I'll end up with mashed potatoes 😂. I'm good at forgetting that I've got things on and cooking cos my brain gets distracted with other things. Ahhh yes having to wait for it to heat up, hopefully it doesn't take too long. Have you got something else you can do in the meantime or are you taking the chance to have a bit of self care in between things that need to be done?

I don't have any other plans for the day other than just trying to make it through it (I'm safe). I had to make a phone call which I've done and now it's just a matter of waiting for them to call back.

Thanks @Tolly

I appreciate the care shown.

I get distracted too that’s why I set timers when I’m cooking! @MissGremlin

well done with making the phone call. That is really hard to do.

It sounds like you are doing well with it. It’s a good meal to though. When I get gas I’m making pasta salad for lunches for work! Then pasta bake for dinners. I’m using some of the raw mince to give my dogs their tick and heartworm tablets for going away. They don’t need them here but do on the coast.

The gas is good. The water only goes hot when the gas is on. There is no heating up required. But there is also no storing of heated water.

I have ironed my work clothes and I have packed as much as I can, well physically anyway. I can’t do anymore but there really isn’t much more I can do until Wednesday. I could wrap my brother’s Christmas present but I really just can’t function to do that.

I just have to change my bedlinen. But that feels like hard work.

It’s not as much as I normally do but I need to focus on me, not tasks. I need to clean the kitchen but I’ll do that after I’ve finished cooking. I’m not going to worry about cleaning the floors. No on will notice other than me.

@Captain24 i forget to set timers 😂.

Thankyou, it was hard. I despise making phone calls, I still have another to make but that can wait.

It is a good meal, I want to make some pasta salads aswell and pasta bakes are yummy. Good idea with the raw meat to give the dogs their tablets. At least they will be protected just in case.

That's lucky, mine is storage hot water and it's so frustrating.

You've done so well sweet and I think it's important to take small breaks in between especially at the moment.

I'm going to see if I can get some rest, today is feeling heavy (I'm safe) and I just finished writing a poem to reflect on how I'm feeling. I shared it on my thread but didn't tag people as it can be triggering to read.

I hope the rest of your day goes ok sweet, i really am so proud of you for everything you've done today and recently ❤️.

I hope you get some rest @MissGremlin. Be gentle.

That feeling of "comfort blanket" is something i've heard a number of people in my support group too @Captain24 . And for me, the knowledge equiv is my comfort. I went through a lot of distress at the start of the year because internal conflict around it.

How did you go with it this morning?

Rice and tuna is a really healthy mix of energy and protein (or so i have been told lol). 😊

I ended up with carrots and a nutrution bar last night for dinner. But ive just had a nice treat whilst at a cafe with my dog for lunch - i had a bacon/lettuce/tomato roll 😊. Dog is happy sleeping beside the table. Its 31 degrees aparently, but in the shade really doesnt feel it. Nornally i wouldnt take my dogs out on a hot day - but he had his monthly appointment and the cafe is just opposite and in lots of shade with an open breeze. Car is very close and its overcast today so the road to cross over wont be too hot on his little paws thankfully. He was very happy he got lots of pats from people at nearby tables 🥰.

It was hard and I nearly didn’t do it. @AlwaysMyself. I now feel empty and unprepared. It’s actually kind of scary. Them around was comforting and now I feel lost.

The internal conflict is hard. It’s hard to think that that is what it could come down to. Hard to think that you may go down that path. Knowing the option is there is hard too but feels ready.

My dietitian is happy if I eat that so the must be some benefits but it must have the tuna in it! Carrot and a nutrition bar sounds alright.

That sounds really nice and to have one with you. I get the heat thing and people questioning it but sometimes it just has to be done and not by choice. You sound like it is well planned! That’s a good mum. We have lots of plans in place for the holidays, mum included with her baby. Lots of ice packs and prams for if the ground gets too hot or they get too hot! Jett has his vaccination on Monday, it’s really embarrassing getting it done. Have you seen the reels on Facebook where the chihuahuas are screaming when they see the needle, before they have even had it? I could create my own!!!

Im thinking I may go to bed for a little while. I have just changed all the linen and that’s me done for the day until my gas bottles turn up some time this afternoon. I then need to cook meals ready for the next few days. But that’s a later job and I can’t do it now anyway.

I hope you are ok?

@MissGremlin @Captain24

So proud of you @Captain24 - for the disposal and the linen change! I need to change my bed linen too (or, my cleaner to) - but I will leave that for next week. This week: I have 5 blankets (light & medium weights) to wash from the couches/dogs. Got the cleaner to clean 1 of the couches under the blanket, and then will get them to clean the other couch next week. So need to now wash the blankets so that I have them clean again next week once the second couch is de-furred. (Depsite the blankets, it still gets onto the cushions over time lol. But is has been 9 months so that is reasonable).

@MissGremlin well done on the phone call! 😊

I have an idea of a post i would like to write, and will try to do it today & post it and tag you and others too. It's a positive/helpful thing for people I hope, based on how I am approaching this year.

It's good to not have any other "to do" thing on for today. I can just stay home if I want now. Give myself space. Had a very thinking-morning whist driving to/from my appointment.

My lounges in both rooms are covered in dog hair! @AlwaysMyself. I just vacuum them occasionally. Usually only if I know someone is coming over so that’s not very often!

My gas arrived just as I was getting ready to get into bed so I’m just boiling the pasta for the pasta salad. That way it can cool while I’m sleeping! One less thing to do tonight, plus it’ll be cool enough to mix together. Then it’s only dinner left to do.

A chill afternoon sounds good.. I hope you enjoy it. What does it look like for you?