I can’t cope

It’s not a spiral @Jynx Im in hypo-arousal or freeze/fawn, whichever way you want to look at it. I’m stuck and shutdown. There is nothing I can do but ride it out. All coming from my psych. It took me ages to bring myself under control to be able to drive the 4 hours home. This is why I no longer have suicidal thoughts. I’ve shutdown.

A coping plan would be good but you don’t have the time anymore. Which is fine as it’s no longer your job to be around as much. It’s up to us to work things out.

I have actually been jumping around on here a little bit I guess you don’t see that anymore.

I do jump into fight mode sometimes just not very often and fall straight back down. I even cracked it at one of the guys from work that don’t speak to me. I told him that I won’t speak to him as I just can’t be bothered any more. That actually made my psych happy.

Everything in my body is telling me to just go to bed and stay there, but that just isn’t possible.

Sorry this is negative and not recovery focused but yesterday was a really heavy day and I’m still struggling with it now I’ve just woken up. I’m struggling to respond properly.

I do appreciate that you found the time to respond though.

Just editing this.

I have had a day filled with extreme distress and had to make another appointment with my psych for today. My heart hurts and is broken. I have cried all afternoon and I don’t cry. I cried through my appointment as well. I’m really not ok. I know you don’t want to hear it but just wanted to tell you where I’m at. Yes, I’m not coping. I’m going to bed, I don’t like going to sleep as if means I have to wake up and face another day. A day I don’t want to face. I am safe but it’s like no one cares really anymore. Sorry but I’m feeling a little negative around the forum situation.

I got some sleep @MissGremlin. I put my phone down and was out. A big day of driving didn’t help either I guess. It’s exhausting to travel that far in a day as it is without a heavy appointment.

I really hope you found a little bit of sleep and are still sleeping now.

Reading along this morning @Captain24 . So glad you made it through to tiday - even though i also know how hard it can be to drag yourself along each day and night.

I think sometimes being able to post/vent is sometimes a really helpful coping strategy. And coping strategies are recovery-oriented right? So thus safely venting to us here (and knowing that we will be here to listen and support) can be recovery-oreinted coping, right? 🤔

Thats my view at least!

Morning @AlwaysMyself

I did make it. I don’t really want to. But I’m safe so it’s just a matter of dragging along. Apparently as I get through this I go back up a step and go back to have SI. Something to look forward to!

I don’t know. Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I don’t. It also depends on who is on moderator wise.

I’ve done 2 loads of washing but I can’t put it out. I just can’t do it. I’ve turned on the iron but it’s still on and my work clothes aren’t ironed. I usually manage to do everything. I’m just so disappointed in myself. I’m a failure. I’m useless. It just makes me feel so hopeless. I am safe but just don’t want to go on.

Totally get the continuing on but not wanting to. Not sure what you know about my own MH challenges and SI. But yep I'm there with ya!

Its OK to not hang out the washing just yet 😊 - good on you for putting it on as a first step 🙂. I left mine in the machine overnight last week - the clothes were still there the next day, patiently waitinf to be hung up, they were fine. I think my dishwasher is the same too 🤭 it waits a long time for me to put it on, then a long time for me to empty it too lol. They will remain fine for abit.

You're not a failure. You're struggling because you're burned out, depressed, exhausted, etc. That isnt failing in my books.

Does it help at all to think "just 1 item"? I.e. hang 1 piece of clothing or iron one piece of clothing.

And thats enough for just now. Later, you can try to do another 1 piece.

Not sure if that helps or not. I dont usually find it very helpful for myself, but i know many other people do which is why i mention it on the off chance 😊

If it would help you feel better about your struggles with daily houselife and selfcare, i am happy to share some of mine with you too - just ask. I know sometimes knowing you are not the only one having this difficulty can help reduce self-blame. I wonder what encouragement you may give me, which maybe you would also benefit from hearing for yourself too? 🤔

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I'm so glad you got some sleep. I think it was definitely a big day for you yesterday both with the driving and the heavy appointment, but you did it, you made it through, well done☺️.

I got a bit of sleep but woke up feeling exhausted and as if I hadn't slept at all.

How are you feeling today, have you got any plans for the day?

I really don’t know a lot @AlwaysMyself. I’m sorry that I don’t, that shows how self-centred I am.

The iron is still on! I have to go get the washing. I need to be able to pack it. I need my clothes ironed so they are ready for work. It just has to be done.

Im hopeless with the dishwasher. I’m pretty good a putting it on when its full but usually just get the dishes out as I need them!

Im usually pretty good at getting stuff done. I get up and start and keep going. But today it’s just not happening. I’m thinking I might hang out the washing, turn the iron off and go back to bed. I can’t face the day, I can’t face another day. I just can’t do it.

I don’t know what advice I’d give. It’s hard, I’m usually good at it though but right now I’m so shutdown that I can’t even think. Which apparently is normal and is ok. Well for where my MH is at anyway.

Im hoping that if I get some more rest I can start my day over. Today can’t go on like this. I will breakdown but I don’t even know what that looks like, it’s just that I feel like it will happen.

That feeling of not sleeping is so hard. It makes the day and mood harder. @MissGremlin. I hope you are as ok as you can be?

Im going to hang my washing out, turn the iron off and go back to bed. I can’t face the day and I don’t want to.

What are your plans for today?

@Captain24 I'm with you there today sweet. I don't want to deal with the day or the world (I'm safe) so I've put a movie on and I'm going to lay on my lounge.

I'm sorry things are feeling heavy today, I hope you can get some rest sweet and wake up feeling better. Always here for you, big hugs to you ❤️.

Not self-centred at all @Captain24 ! I actually don't share much outside of my little thread unless i know someone wants to hear it because i know how confronting it is for people. And i never want to overhwelm or trigger someone else. I let people ask at their own pace instead and share things as i relate to what they bring up 😊.

Let say there are a lot of reasons i click with your and @MissGremlin 's and @Flutterbug9 's experience of life 😉.

Going back to bed after doing the washing and turning off the iron sounds good. 🙂 its extra extra hard when tired also. And sometimes curling up to sleep for another hour or two can do wonders!