I can’t cope

I’m glad you took it the right way @tyme. I was scared that I came across as rude. You can’t type ‘tone’ in a message.

I’m glad he does the school drop off and pick ups. That’s good. That would be a huge help. I hope she only works 4 days.

Does firecracker start school this year?

There is 2 guys that don’t speak to me. I speak to them though. One of them really annoyed me last night. I said good morning as I walked in and he didn’t answer and then we were at the board seeing what we were doing for the night. I said something about another guy doing the extra overtime if certain things were in place. He just turned and said to me ‘I know’ but with a real attitude. I just turned to him and said ‘It’s alright (insert name here) I won’t speak to you again, I can’t be bothered’ That was said with attitude and that just set my foul mood off. Two others copped it on the 2 way. It was a ‘don’t even look at me’ night.

I got into bed around 9:30 after doing a few things and got up at 12:15 and feed the dogs, then just sat on the lounge. I’ve got so much to do but nothing to do it with. I have a big day of driving tomorrow. I’m not sure how I can do it?

What session do you have tomorrow?

True that you can't always read tone posts. But thank you for sharing your concerns. Really appreciate it @Captain24

And yes, that little firecracker start school! She's pretending she's not excited, but I can tell that she is bursting with excitment. She's just trying not to show it. It's a bit cute.

As for those guys, I feel like cheering you on. Enough is enough... don't take crap from them! They can cop it once in a while. I can see they have been giving you a hell of a time! LOL. Thye might be more careful the next time they step on your toes.

Aawww.. that is a bit cute! @tyme. She’s getting all grown up! This is where I wish you could se d photos. I remember when your nephew started school and his clothes were all to big because they didn’t come small enough! Now the baby is starting! Does she go on Wednesday too?

I never stand up for myself and I feel bad for the 2 truckies I yelled at on the 2 way. Well more so one of them. He is a nice guy. But I’m proud of myself with the guy at the start of shift. I tried to be the bigger person for months and I just can’t take it anymore. My head is not in an ok space and it’s just adding to it. The other guy that doesn’t talk to me is fine, I needed his help last night so I asked him to do my a favor and he wasn’t busy so he went and done it for me. I told him how much I appreciated it, he doesn’t like me but worked with me in that moment. He earnt respect in my eyes.

Am I bothering you tonight? Was I too rude?

Nah, of course you weren't bothering me. There was another mod on so they moderated the post which meant I missed it @Captain24 That's why it too longer to respond.

Yes! That was my nephew! He's going into year 3 this year. He loves school and is doing really really well. He loves learning.

I don't know what this little one will be like. I have a feeling she may give the teacher hell once she's comfortable. She's got no filter. Yesterday, she said to a 4 year old who has speech issues, "Talk properly! I can't understand what you are saying!" I was embarrassed lol. And yes, her uniform is big for her too. Let's see how she goes. I'm sure the others will have long uniforms too. And her black leather shoes are cute. It was hard to find her shoes because she is still toddler size.

As for the nice guy, apologise if you feel that's right. In a way, it still shows that they can't mess around with you.

So, have you done any planning for tomorrow, besides the big drive?

I don't think anything you've written is rude @Captain24 😊. Most likely something just came up needing their attention for a bit.

Really glad the coworker helped when you said you needed a favour, even though you dont always have a good relationship with them. Thats how it should be i think - after all, you're all paid to make the job work together i assume?

I dont know exactly what you do. But ive picked up that driving trucks is part of it lol ! 😋

Not that it took time just a sense I’m feeling in the posts. That’s all @tyme

Are you on on Thursday so I can check in on firecracker? She might just surprise you and be really good! 😜

Nah. I haven’t done any planning about the appointment. Just when to leave, where to eat to allow the best possible time to sit and watch the ocean before my appointment as I’m going to have to finish it and drive straight home. No time for processing. Process through peak hour traffic

It’s all really hard. Do I just lead in with the big one. I don’t want to exist, and go from there. I am safe

Oh.. it wasn’t about the time @AlwaysMyself. I know that she is busy and others need more attention. That’s what’s important.

I was actually shocked that he did it but I did make it known how much I appreciated it.

I work in a coal mine and drive those big dump trucks.

All good with the post. Not rude at all. As for tomorrow, can't you 'process' at the beach somewhere before coming home? Is that safer than processing in peak hour traffic @Captain24

Hrmm... I wonder if you need to chunk if for her and say why you don't want to exist? If you have a list of things you want to talk about, you can prioritise them, and see what's most important. Or consider, what do you want to get out of the session? Yes, you have this thought that you don't want to live, but can that be solved in the session?

Sorry if this is too much to process!

I need to get home in daylight @tyme. Plus I drive west home and the sun means you can’t see. Can’t see the roads. The traffic should be distracting until I’m out of the mountains then it’s just rural roads so I can process then

I got some strategies last appointment for when the thoughts get too loud big I have actually been working since then so it’s been hard. It’s gotten worse since I saw her last week. What do I need? What can she actually help with? How can we turn this around and quickly? I just feel defeated by it all. It has swallowed me up whole. I’m distraught.

Fair enough @Captain24 Definitely need to keep out of the way of kangaroos!!! PLEASE!

As for what you have shared, maybe these are the thoughts you can share with her. Let her know what YOU have been working on and see if she can provide suggestions on what to do differently. She'll then be able to see that you have tried what she has suggested, and maybe she can offer something different.

So perhaps brainstorm a list of things she said last time to try, let her know the progress and then go from there? And yes, be frank about how you've been feeling.

When you come home, do you usually write down or take note of what you want to try before you see her next?

I found that doing this makes the sessions more worthwhile. It's not actually homework, but I think it's important to practice some of the skills learnt.

Thoughts? @Captain24