I can’t cope

When we were overseas, I told me BIL off so much. I had to step back because I'm not married to him. He is actually NOT capable of looking after the kids, unfortunately. He loves them, but they don't listen to him or anything. He ends up crying, they end up crying and it's WWIII. He is tapering off meds too so we have to be extra cautious. @Captain24

Maybe in a few years things will be different. And by that time, I probably would've moved out so I won't be around so much.

I questioned my sis to see if she really can take on that role now, and she said she's doing all the work anyway so she may as well.

Also, the in laws will be back in July. At least they can cook a few meals each which will make it easier for my sis. That's one thing I can't do - cook meals for them!

Please take care. Take a huge breath. When things go a little haywire, tell yourself that you are there so you can pay the bills! Cheers, tyme

Hello @Captain24 sweet, just wanted to let you know that I've read your post but I'll reply later tonight as I've been flat out today and had alot of things go wrong (I'm safe). But I didn't want you to think that i was ignoring you.

I hope work goes ok tonight sweetheart, I'll be thinking of you. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️

I hope you are ok? @MissGremlin It sounds like a tough day.

Feel free to vent if you want/need to.

I have no expectations with responses. If you can’t it’s totally fine with me.

I hope you got some sleep.

It must be so hard @tyme. Wanting to say stuff but just not being able to as it’s not your place. I do think you do have a right though as you are so involved in the family. It’s like a double edged sword.

The kids will never respect him and will always think of their mum as ‘bad cop’. Mum was always out ‘bad cop’ she did most of the discipline but dad wouldn’t let us go anywhere or do anything. The first time a friend asked me for a sleep over dad had to go and talk to them first. It’s a small country town and I had been friends with this girl since kindergarten and dad knew her parents before we were born. I was in year 6!

Coming off meds is so hard so I do get it. I struggled immensely, it was also one of the hardest to come off, but I still had to function even though it was hard. I still had work to go to and a house to maintain and dogs to look after. But I do know it’s not easy.

Sorry, I’m tired and angry. I even had a go at people at work. But I am so frustrated for you. I know you love your family and want to help but you need to look after yourself as well. You have wants and needs and should be able to do them. Sorry if this is wrong but I really care about you and want you to be able to look after yourself.

I guess if she is already doing it getting paid for it is a good thing. I hope it doesn’t create more work though.

I never thought I’d say this… but I’m glad the in-laws will be able to help a little. Just to take some of the pressure off you.

Im sorry… I know you love your life and love them. I just care.

Things did go haywire. I told a guy that I’ve had enough and won’t speak to him again. I had a go at a truckie for complaining about dust on a road that she was just driving on to get to one place from another. Not a road in continual use. Then another guy complained and I had a go at him too. He wasn’t who I thought he was though so I apologised at crib break. I did the best that I could and it still wasn’t good enough. I was tired and angry so anyone that spoke to me copped it. I was just and still am, in a foul mood.

Hello @Captain24 sweet, how are you going?

I'm awake and sitting with alot of thoughts, feelings and emotions (I'm safe).

I’m tired and I’m in a filthy mood @MissGremlin. I’m also annoyed at myself because I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to before my washing finished. I still have to vacuum, sweep amd wash the floors but I’ve just gotten into bed. I guess at least the kitchen and ensuite are cleaned and pixies food is done for the week and the dishwasher is unpacked.

Do you want to share your thoughts or feelings?

@Captain24 oh sweetheart, i hear you. You've done well to get those things done and the others can wait until you've gotten some rest.

I don't even have time to sit and process them. I have so much to do today but struggling to find the energy or motivation to actually do them.

I’m sorry that you don’t have time to process @MissGremlin

Energy and motivation can be so hard. I struggle with it a lot too. That is why when I get up I just start and I don’t have time to think that I don’t have the energy. But if I don’t start straight away I just can find it.

Are you able to give yourself a list of what you need to do? Put it in order of importance or timing? I like written lists as I can cross them off and see what I’ve done/achieved.

If I stop responding it means I’ve fallen asleep!

@Captain24

Thanks @Flutterbug9 That is beautiful.

I do shed tears occasionally but can’t just let go and cry.

How are you going?