I can’t cope

I’m really anxious. @AuntGlow. I actually have nothing to do tomorrow. Just hobby stuff. That’s where I need to be gentle, that it’s ok to do nothing. I did set up so tomorrow was a free day but now I’m not so sure it was a good idea.

I don’t know what’s small thing.

Since i'm not going to beach, I'm going to take Ruby out for a walk soon, and then tomorrow, I'm going to pull out all the clothes from my wardrobe and declutter... @Captain24

I've decided 🙂

That sounds good @tyme Ruby will love it.

I did a declutter not long ago and it felt good. However i still have all the bags that i was going to take to the salvos!

Do you have much to declutter?

I wonder if you could journal about this anxiety or even talk it out loud? Sometimes all anxiety needs is a voice to be able to release and gain clarity. Just a suggestion, of course - I trust you to do what's right for you. @Captain24 🥰

I know a free day feels scary for you right now, but I think it's such a good opportunity to explore what feels good in those incremental ways.

That's what I was referring to re: the 'small thing' - a very small self-care thing that feels sooo tiny you could easily do it. Like, cuddling Pix and Jett for a minute longer than you usually would.

LOL. I won't know how much until I start @Captain24 . I going to strip the cupboards bare. I don't want to keep stuff that I'm not going to wear.

Lol. Let's see if I actually get to do it! The kids are just getting ready for me to take them out, so I should say good evening now before I hop off! I'll catch up when I'm on on Wed. But I think I won't be on until late late because I've got training.

Take care though. Keep being you 🙂

Have a good night @tyme. I won’t be home until 8 on Wednesday anyway. See you then

That's perfect timing then! See you @Captain24

I don’t usually journal @AuntGlow. I’ve tried and it just doesn’t seem to work for me. I feel stupid talking out loud but i guess i could try telling Pix. That may help.

I guess it’s an experiment as to whether I can do it or not. I’m just physically and mentally exhausted. I have nothing left in the tank. I need a nothing day, I can’t keep going the way I’m going. Being busy keeps my mind distracted though. I just need to stop. I need to learn what to do to relax. Relax but keep my mind off my thoughts. I’m a little scared that they might win. It’s hard right now since I haven’t done much since about 4. They are loud.

I can spend more time with Pix and Jett. They will love that. Pix is hassling me for a treat right now. She had one after her bath and then another one after Jetts bath!

Hey @Captain24 , I haven't back-read since my last post (don't have time/energy currently), but popping in to say "hi" and see how things are for you. I can see from your post a short while ago that it's still really hard and especially with the thoughts.

I love the idea of talking to Lady Pixie Dust about things! 😊😍 I hope she is a really good listener.

I also struggle to find things to do to relax that have a strong enough focus to distract from the thoughts when they are strong. I have recently been finding benefit in reaching out to other people during those times - if someone is available - in face-to-face (whether it be a non-clinical crisis-support-centre or a friend/family member). Sometimes that is the only healthy thing that is a strong enough distraction - plus it can be helpful to know you aren't physical alone I find.

Not sure if that is a practical option for you where you live - or even with the variance of opening hours & people-available at different times. But I want to let you know that its OK to reach out to people for in-person help. 😊 For me this has always been super-hard because I always felt pressured to self-cope / self-soothe (which is a super good skill, but there are times when it can be even better to reach out I'm learning).

Otherwise... Hmm relaxing distractions. For me sometimes I do my paint by numbers. I know @MissGremlin sometimes does colouring or lego, and I know @Flutterbug9 likes Lego too (actually I did some lego last night too!! one i got on-gifted to me, lucky me!).

Sometimes I also find certain music can help me wind-down whilst also supporting my mood.

Hi @AlwaysMyself

How are you going today?

Yep.. still hard but it is what it is I guess.

Pix is a really good listener. She looks at me and tilts her head side to side!

There isn’t any in-person support around here. I do have my best friend coming around for a little bit on Tuesday afternoon. Won’t be for very long but it’ll still be nice. As for actual person contact tomorrow I actually don’t have anyone.

I have a paint by numbers that I started and I really don’t like it! I have Lego here lots of it.. plus I’ve just received some mini blocks kits to do, I have diamond art set up, I have a 3D puzzle I can start and I have resin to do. There is a lot but I’m really struggling with enjoying anything at the moment. I don’t see joy or pleasure. But all I can do is try.

What do you have planned for tomorrow?