I can’t cope

We’re not getting any rain out here and while we aren’t in drought, we have drought conditions! I was excited that we got 11 mil of rain the other day. You can’t tell though, everything is so dry. All the paddocks in the way to work are yellow. @tyme

I had a guy from work follow me home one morning. I was scared, I slowed down so he could overtake me and he didn’t. He was staying at the showground at the time and I drove past the turn off to get to my place and he kept following. I drove around the block and he was still there. I went through maccas drive though and he turned into maccas. I come out of drive thru and he was standing there waiting for me. He wanted to give me his number to call home sometime. He is married with kids!

That would have been terrifying to be constantly followed and to be kept in the classroom. Did the police get him?

That must be so isolating for her. She must feel alone. I’m glad she has you.

Sometimes I write stuff down, she is really good at reading me though and can pull anything out of me that she is seeing at the time. She is really good.

Im sitting here doing the Kmart mini bricks. It’s just like Lego only smaller and the pieces don’t stay together anywhere near as well.

Do you have any plans?

Yeah... that's freaky that he followed you to give you his number... @Captain24 .

Yeah, I struggled a lot with the kmart bricks. I found Lego brand was the best, but as I said, it got too easy. So Temu was the next. It's a good challenge with the temu ones but you need to have the tools to undo the bricks or you get really sore fingers from pushing the tiny pieces together.

I do'nt have many plans but I'm trying to organise something for tomorrow because I'm off work. I want to go to the beach.. but I don't like cleaning up after. I'm waiting to see what my sister has planned.

I understand this - I am very similar! And it can be utterly exhausting when everything feels forced. Finding a middle ground is hard, but it is absolutely possible - it just takes time for balance to feel good in the body - and you're only just starting with all of this information about your mind!! So please be kind to yourself. @Captain24 🥰

How are things feeling today and what does your to-do list look like? Shall we explore some integration of gentle approaches to your tasks? 🫶

It was and I had to work with him the next night! @tyme

What tools? What do I need? I was going to start them tomorrow when I have nothing to do? It looks really hard though!

I love going to the beach and just go back to where we are staying to have a shower! I’d come with you! Oh.. when I go on holidays, the friend that came to visit is going to meet up with me to go to the beach. My favourite swimming beach is the same as hers! She lives in Sydney and I live out here. How random is that!

What else could you do with your day off? I’ve given myself tomorrow off and I’m a little stressed about it!

It’s all just hard @AuntGlow Im not very good with middle ground. I’m struggling with it.

I went straight back to old habits and did everything in one go. I mowed the front and back lawns, bathed the dogs, changed my bed linen, had a shower and washed my hair and had a bath. No rest, no breaks, no being gentle. Once I finished it all, all I wanted to do was go to bed. But I have stayed out of bed and doing some Lego.

I am a little scared about tomorrow as I have nothing on a to-do list. It’s about a self-care day. It’s about being gentle but it scares me and I’m not sure I can do it.

I just asked my sister and she wants me to help her with things around the house because she wants to invited guests over... so looks like I won't be going to the beach @Captain24 .

As for the tools, they are lego separators but for the mini blocks. I put together a titanic without the separator and it was hectic! As soon as I got the separator, it was much easier. It came with the sea animal lego i got. I didn't buy it separately. But yes, with the titanic, I was getting blisters on my thumbs!

That’s a bugger @tyme. I hope she doesn’t want you to do too much. You need to do things for yourself as well.

The little box I opened didn’t have one so I opened a bigger box and it does! I’m getting a little stressed about doing it! It all sounds so hard!

Those pieces are so little! Did it take you ages to do the titanic? Do the little ones take long?

I understand, it's honestly genuinely so hard when our nervous system and subconscious mind know a pattern so well. And that doesn't make it wrong or bad, just the most 'known' path. This is why very small steps towards a new path are most helpful. What is the smallest action you could take tomorrow? Whatever feels small, think even smaller! Then we can do some reflecting around how that felt. How does that sound? @Captain24 🫶

Nah, it's a 'good' challenge. You actually need to think a little and that's why i like them @Captain24 . And also, because they are smaller, i can fit more in the cabinet!

So can you plan something to do tomorrow?

I’ll give it a go after I finish this Kmart one. @tyme. I’m half way through.

They don’t look very big.

Well I’ve done all my chores, I thought a maintenance day would be good. It scares me though. I have diamond art to do that I haven’t touch in absolute months, I stopped enjoying it. I have these bricks to do. Maybe some resin? I don’t know. The idea of a maintenance day sounded good at the time but I guess I’ll just have to see what tomorrow brings. It is scary though.

Also… did you check out the wind down Wednesday thread? Rav3n and Jynx helped me with it though.