I can’t cope

Love to change weather! @MissGremlin

It’s so hard when it’s been going on for so long. There is nothing to be ashamed of. I really feel for you. I’m holding hope for you that you will get through this and out the otherside

@Captain24 i despise the heat so I'll gladly trade 😂.

Thankyou sweet. It's just hard when I can't get any support other than my gp that's always happy to listen but what else can he do when he does so many referrals and noone will help. The system is so very broken.

Anyway are you excited to tackle bath time with Pix? Hoping she doesn't get wise to the bath time plan 😂.

Sorry @MissGremlin I fell back to sleep.

On the support front I just thought of something. There is a place on line called mindspot. They have a course where you do sections and have a counsellor call you once a week I think it is. It only goes for a few weeks but it may help. I did it years ago so can’t remember it fully but I think it was free. Not sure. It was really helpful though. I could be worth looking at.

No I’m not looking forward to bath time! I despise it. But it has to be done. It only takes just over an hour when I can trick her. I’m thinking I might go and mow the lawn first.

I love the heat. The hotter the better!!! I just have to be really careful with Pix in the heat. She nearly died of heat stroke. Mum didn’t think the emergency vet was going to make it in time to save her. When I went in the get Jetts food just after it happened, she walked out to get a patient and I thank her for saving Pix and cried!!

very thankful to you @Captain24 for asking the question which started the chats about GD.

little things I’ve done without thinking/realising.

last year I bought lots of girlie t-shirts as I like the designs (animals, butterflies, flowers).

With a week at a time in hospital due to infusion I decided to buy some new nightwear. Found myself looking at guys day time t-shirt and shorts sets and almost bought some.

something in my brain started querying what I was doing.

maybe part of ‘force of habit’, I don’t know.

any thoughts @Jynx

As I’ve mentioned on another thread, been some things on the forums recently that have brought me to decision I need to distance myself from the forums for awhile.

im not leaving the forums. Currently reassessing how often etc I am on the forums though.

@Captain24 Im not going back on my offer to help you with your new brick purchases. I just don’t know how quickly I will get back to you though. Might be a day, might be a week. If becomes urgent, suggest maybe asking @MissGremlin

totally crashed yesterday, spent for approx 14hrs, not quality though. Struggling with tears and feeling fragile again today

I’m glad it’s got you thinking @Flutterbug9. well sort of, it adds another layer but maybe it’s helpful. @Jynx will totally help you through it. They are awesome at helping people sort through things and working out what is on the inside. They really helped me out with my sexuality.

I would have bought them. You actually have me thinking about that. It’s ok to be querying about things. Working out what is inside can be helpful.

I think it’s ok to have a mix. I do. I have all men’s tracksuits for winter and men’s flannies. I do were some girly colours in summer but they are like men’s tops. I have shirts for if I go anywhere and they are girls shirts but wear like men’s shirts and I’m comfortable in them.

Distancing yourself is ok. If that’s what’s best for you. Sometimes I take some time out too. I get upset with things, like you with the mods, it hurts and questions what you are doing on here. Especially when it’s completely innocent. I had a post removed once for mentioning my kids names. I got in trouble for breaching anonymity. I had to then explain they were my dogs! There have been other times as well but also there have been times when they have been really supportive as well. The PSW have always been fabulous. It’s hard when you want and need the support but feel like you are pushed away.

It’s ok with the bricks, I’ll figure it out and I also have @tyme @to help as she has already done some too. I do see why you need tweezers though! They are really small.

That's a shame it wasn’t quality. I’m sorry you are so upset and things are hard. You do what you need too but know that I am hear when you are ready and I’ll be thinking of you!

Hey @Captain24 , how was yesterday?

Hey @tyme

Yesterday afternoon I went out and weeded my front garden beds and whipper snippered the front and back yard before the markets!

There wasn’t much there but I had dinner and the dogs got an outing and loved it. Plus it got me out of the house and it was nice.

Today I’ve mowed front and back yards, bathed both dogs and changed all my bedlinen. I’ve had a shower, washed my hair and just got out of a bath! Now to dry my hair and then nothing until getting ready for work on Tuesday!

How did you go yesterday afternoon? Did you take the kids and dog out?

Hey @Captain24 !

Sounds like a busy time this morning for you. As for yesterday, I'm glad you got to go out. Hope the dogs were okay.

No, I didnt' get the take the kids out. By the time I hopped off the forums, I was actually getting tired so I finished watching Slumdog Millionaire with my niece. It was on her list of things to do over the holidays. She wanted to compare the movie to the actual slums because we went on a Dharavi Slum Tour when overseas and the tour guide mentioned the movie. I didnt let the see the 'bad' parts of the movie though and that's why I had to watch it with her.

My niece wouldn't stop talking last night. Then at midnight, she sat on my bathroom floor eating a Chobani yoghurt. I told her to go into the kitchen or lounge, but she wanted to be around me... geez. then she blurted "My mum fell in love with my dad and now I've got his genes!" (I don't know where her head is).

Anyway, besides that, not much else is going on. I'll be off here around 7:30/8pm tonight and I'll be back on Wed.

What time is your shift on Tues? Also, have you meal prepped?

It has been busy but it’s all done other than drying the sheets and doona cover. But that will happen. @tyme

That sounds good, especially after actually seeing them, I haven’t seen that movie but I don’t really watch a lot of movies. How did the react to seeing how some people live?

That’s a bit cute, the bathroom is a bit strange though. How are you going to get her back to a normal routine? Are the other 2 having a similar problem?

That’s such a random comment. How do they even know these things?

I go to work on Wednesday but have to clean and do shopping and food prep on Tuesday I also have a psych appointment, I think it’s much needed. I haven’t done my homework but it’s too distressing.

Hopefully work is better this coming block than the last one. On my last night shift I drove to work and it was sunny, then it got windy, then I got hail, then it rained that hard that I could barely see the car in front of me and then it got sunny! Then at work I had a truck nearly reverse into me. There was less than a metre between us. I had to yell stop, stop, stop on the 2 way! Near the end of shift it got really foggy, enough that most things pulled up. Where I was kept running but the loader operator kept pushing to do unsafe things. I told him it wasn’t safe so he gave me attitude and just told me to park up. I called up the boss and said it was unsafe and I was parking up. They were ok with that. Then on the drive home I went past a slow car on the overtaking lane, it sped up and tailgated me all the way back to town. I was scared and was scared it was going to follow me home. When I turned off to go the back road home it didn’t follow so that was good but I was still scared. I was shaking!

Are you going to to take the kids to the beach?

That work experience sounds so stressful! I read about flash flooding/hailing in NSW. It's hard to believe when it is so hot and sunny in Melb. I also hope your upcoming shifts are better. As for tailgaters, that's also really hard. Brings back memories of when I was a kid. Mum was driving us all to school, and this creepy person followed her the whole day... in the end, mum had to drive to the police station and report it. I remember we, as kids, had to wait inside a particular classroom to get picked up in case this creep got us first. That was a really stressful time. I'm glad the person didn't follow you home!

And when I said I was taking the kids to the beach, I was silly because I didn't have a car! My sister reminded me after so I had to take all my planning back lol.

And the comment about having dad's genes.. that's my niece. She says all random things. She was prety much complaining that she had dad's genes instead of mum's because she and my BIL don't really get along. They annoy each other. My eldest niece is at her friend's house the moment, and the two younger ones are at home. The younger ones get along well, but the eldest doesn't get along with anyone...

I hope your psych appointment goes well. Do you write things down about what you want to talk about with her or things you want to work on? @Captain24

Also, anything you plan to do later tonight?