@Captain24 darlin, you never have to apologise for not being able to reply promptly. We understand completely, and we definitely don't want to set up an expectation - for members or staff - that there's ever any pressure to reply or to be 'always available'. You could reply once a week if you wanted and that would be totally valid!
Anyway, hope that tonight goes okay and that you're catching up on your snoozles today. And hooray for rain!! Definitely something to celebrate. And tells me in a way of how connected you are to nature and to the earth - that you care so deeply for the life around you.
Good luck tonight 🤞
@Flutterbug9 thank you for sharing, and I'm really glad that me sharing my experiences was validating for you!
Have you ever thought about transitioning, medically or socially? There is all sorts of ways to feel more affirmed in our gender. And you don't have to identify as transgender or nonbinary for your experiences of not feeling 'girly enough' to be valid either. There is safety in conformity, and considering what's going on around the world right now in regards to trans rights, it's okay to decide that it's easier to continue identifying with your birth gender.
@AlwaysMyself still working out the best pathway actually. I think in some cases the surgery can even be subsidised by medicare, but I think like you say you have to have a proven track record of debilitating dysphoria to qualify. My mum had breast cancer though, so I have wondered if I could go for like a 'preventative' angle. My ex actually went to South Korea for their top surgery - apparently the surgery plus plane tickets and two weeks of accommodation was cheaper than getting it done here. So not sure yet!
As for my social transition journey, it's been relatively easy - I feel quite blessed that the majority of my friendships are with queer or trans folk. I was also working at SANE when I decided to change my name, and everyone here has been monumentally supportive - even going so far as to ensure we can all list our pronouns on our Teams display name, and when people do occasionally accidentally misgender me, my coworkers are quick to jump in to correct them - which goes a long way to reducing the mental load for trans folks. My family were... more challenging. My siblings were and always have been super supportive, my mum has always been accepting even if she doesn't understand. It was challenging to tell her about my desire for top surgery, I think partly because of her own experiences with breast cancer, but she does just want me to be happy. It took about a year or so I think for her to start getting my name and pronouns right all the time.
My dad was.... more difficult. He's always been more conservative and prior to getting diagnosed with Parkinsons, he often threw me curve balls by asking difficult questions, like how my gender might impact my young niece and nephew. I'm lucky my sister always stood up for me in those moments. Nowadays due to his mental decline, I think he gets my name right about half the time? But I do give him a free pass because he quite literally can't help it.
OMG the bathrooms.... I think what people fail to grasp is that a lot of transgender people 'pass' (i.e. you can't tell they're trans just from a glance), so what are those women who feel unsafe around men supposed to do when a big, beardy trans guy walks into the bathroom? I think it is fair to want a degree of privacy - and having standalone unisex bathrooms provides just that!
