I can’t cope

@Captain24 sleep just doesn't seem to come to me and it's quite frustrating. Sounds like both of us are running on very little sleep.

I'm sending you some strength sweetheart, we are all here with you and together we'll make it through ❤️. Lots of love and hugs your way ❤️.

Thanks @AlwaysMyself. Work is usually really good for me. I’m a bit concerned about the next 2 shifts as they are both nightshifts. I guess it is what it is.

I don’t have any sick leave left. So I just have to keep working plus I need to save my leave for surgery.

My psych has suggested going down there to hospital but I just can’t take the time off work and I can’t afford to take the time. I would really like the rest and safety though. It feels like a comforting space and the facilitators and nurses are really nice and supportive.

What’s been happening in your world today?

Thanks @MissGremlin.

I’ve really got no words right now.

It’s all just too much and the thought of giving up is really strong.

Im safe at the moment….

@Captain24 i hear you sweetheart, you're not alone with these feelings. It's ok if you can't find the words right now, just know that I'm sitting here with you ❤️.

One baby step, one breath, one moment at a time and we'll get through this storm ❤️.

I don’t know that I want too. @MissGremlin

That’s all I’m going to say as I don’t want to add to your thoughts and hard moments.

I don’t want to get into trouble but I don’t think anyone is reading anyway.

@AlwaysMyself I don't think I've shared in any great detail about it, just bits and bobs over the years! It's a little late for a full Jynx ramble just now, but I would be happy to share my experiences with you at some point! Not sure if there's a transgender-specific space here yet (there ought to be, and maybe I should start one!) but if you want I can share some more stuff about my gender journey - here or in your thread, depending on what is preferable to our dear @Captain24 😊

I do relate a lot to the experiences you've shared here, I was definitely a tomboy too haha I think my mum said I was just 3 years old when I told her I didn't want to wear dresses!

I've also been meaning to jump into your thread anyway to catch up on things, I think you may have tagged me there? I can scope it out tomorrow haha.

@Captain24 you know you might have told me this before lol I am incredibly forgetful and we have both been here chatting for a number of years now!! But that's so cool, would you ever go back to it you think? I'm sorry that it was ruined for you, sounds like some very painful memories. Maybe one day you'll find yourself feeling ready to rewrite them, and can pop your tippety tappety dancing shoes back on!

Keep holding on hun, we're all here behind you 100% 💜

(づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡

Please share on here @Jynx @AlwaysMyself

Im keen for it.

No my dancing days are done. The passion is gone and the confidence is gone.

I’ll try but no promises.

@Captain24 i can relate to how you are feeling so much sweet. I truly get it, it's so hard and those feelings and thoughts get so strong. But these feelings and thoughts can pass if we just give them a chance to, it's not easy i know and it also doesn't happen in an instant but if we keep holding on, we keep fighting to see another day then maybe, just maybe better things are coming ❤️.

Hey @Captain24 ,

Sitting with you. Holding onto you.

Does thinking of your sweet little Pixue and Jett help at all?

Hold they tight and give them a cuddle maybe? Breathe with theur warm little bodies, feel their love for you.

I'm glad that work is usually really good for you. 😊

Have you ever spoken to your good workmate about how you feel? (I wonder if they could help be a support you could call for physical company tonight or in the future when things get really hard like this?)

I think I should go to bed before I get into any trouble @MissGremlin

Plus staying up doesn’t guarantee my safety.

I hope you get some sleep tonight.