I can’t cope

I don’t know.. I’ll just have to wait and see @Jynx. I don’t really have a lot of trust in changes or in SANE as a company.

I get that you are busier now and I understand that and I am glad that other members are getting to experience you too. But I guess with new duties you won’t really have much time.

Im glad I got it right. Socially is still a lot and those relationships that you lost obviously weren’t the right people for you to not accept you as you are. That doesn’t make the loss any easier though, I understand that. Especially when you are still who you always were on the inside. I’m glad you are able to see the change and embrace it. I feel the relationships of people that except you for who you are are the most meaningful. Just a question if it’s ok to ask, please tell me if it’s not, what is involved in medically transitioning?

It’s just all to hard and hurts too much.

I don’t deserve anything with the thoughts that are going through my mind. They are becoming less passive. I’m safe at the moment.

@Captain24 hopefully it's a new and brighter day for both of us ☺️.

We love them even with their quirks. Fingers crossed she forgets by the morning.

Bed days are definitely ok and it's good to allow our bodies to rest. I still try to do the things I need to do i just retreat back to my bed after I've done them.

It's good that you can get cheap bones for the puppies.

Thankyou, I'm glad they are done.

I totally get that stuck feeling.

Sending you hugs sweet ❤️.

I’m a blender right now @Jynx

Hello sweet @Captain24, I'm here for you if you'd like to talk about anything ❤️.

I don’t think I can @MissGremlin. I’m in bed in my safe space and it’s not feeling safe. I’m not tired but I need to sleep. Both babies are touching me which feels gentle.

Jetts on edge though and it’s unsettling. I don’t know what is wrong with him.

Pix is lying closer to me than normal.

It all feels different.

I feel different.

@Captain24 oh sweetheart, I'm sorry things are feeling unsafe right now. I'm glad you have both babies touching you, can you try to focus on them, maybe gently patting them and focusing on their breathing. They are there with you and I'm right here with you aswell ❤️.

Jett and Pix could be picking up on how you are feeling sweet, they are very in tune with us.

It sounds so tough right now sweet but know that you're not alone ❤️

They have swapped sleeping positions @MissGremlin. It’s a little weird. I’ve had my hand on Pix. I can’t reach Jett with where he is lying.

Maybe they do love me and care.

Im doing it pretty hard right now. I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin.

Im sorry, i know you are too and dont want to burden you so im sorry. I will keep it to myself.

Maybe I will fall asleep and get some peace.

I don’t feel safe at all right now, not in bed and not with my babies. But I am safe for anyone reading along.

@Captain24 I'm glad you've had your hand on Pix.

They most definitely love and care for you sweet, to them you are their everything ❤️.

I hear you sweet, it's really hard to not feel comfortable in your own skin and I'm sorry you feel this way right now.

You aren't burdening me at all sweetheart, I'm choosing to be here with you cos I care about you and I want to be here to support you ❤️.

I really hope you can get some sleep soon sweet, but I'm here with you until you can fall asleep.

Thank you so much @MissGremlin.

I did read your reply last night but was in no position to respond but I did feel it and thank you.

I got to sleep around 12:30 which is really late for me. I did keep waking up a lot during the night though. It was also hard as I had one dog each side of me and touching me so I didn’t really have much room.

I hope you managed even a little bit of sleep last night.

Im up now and have fed the dogs. Now to try and trick Pix into the bath. If I can get both dogs bathed I will only have a couple of things to do after that.

Thank you so much for being there.

You're so welcome @Captain24 my sweet and it's ok if you can't always reply, I understand ❤️.

I'm sorry it was a late night for you and that you kept waking during the night. Awww your dogs wanting to be close to you but yes they can take up alot of room at times making things hard.

It was another night of barely any sleep for me and attempts to nap this morning haven't gone well.

Well done feeding the dogs, I've fed both Casper and Stella aswell. Good luck tricking Pix into the bath, hope she cooperates for you 😂.

I'm happy to be here for you and thankyou for being here for me aswell ❤️