I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24

that sounds really tough I hope you are able to give yourself some compassion and the one kind thing could be reaching out and engaging with the community

You are such an active member and people are here to support you.

If you need more support please let us know

Mindee

You’ve probably finished by now @Mindee.

I managed to get some sleep but have woken up really tired. I need to beat this tiredness as I have nightshift for the next two nights.

Thank you for your kind posts last night.

I’ve decided to stop taking the hormone medication that causes severe depression @MissGremlin. Maybe that might help. May not help my medical condition but I guess I can live with that if the blood loss comes back. I haven’t had any for two weeks so hopefully that means it’s stopped.

I’m hoping that today is easier for you. Do you have moments during the day that things feel ok other than your chronic pain?

Also in response to your other message… I’m sorry nothing I suggested helped. I have a few more things but I’m guessing they probably won’t help either. But I’ll give it a go when I’m finished my work block.

I like the shower once I’m in there but there is so much involved in getting in it. @AlwaysMyself I think my psych was a little shocked at my limited showering. I do shower for work everyday though.

The dog one is good and they love it. I do spend most of my time with my dogs but just not always put the actual grounding part into it. They are currently sitting in the bed with me and I’ve been patting them but not grounding while I do it.

3-4 hours is a reasonable drive. I hope you made it home ok. I live in a small town in the country so we have to travel for pretty much everything. I’m think of asking my mum to babysit for my next psych app so I can see her in person. It’s a 4 hour drive but I also get an hour sitting on the beach watching the waves. It’s a good way to process my appointment before I drive the 4 hours back home.

I worked dayshift yesterday then I have this morning off, go to bed around 12 and sleep until 4:30 and then start again. I get 24 hours off from the time I clock of from dayshift and start nightshift. 24/7 would be such a hard slog but at least they are only 8 hour shifts. I couldn’t do the 24, it would be good money but exhausting.

How are you going now that you are home?

I get the work and consideration that it takes to get in the shower. So much is involved. I don’t share a bathroom with my babies so that’s easier. I’m actually sitting here now knowing that I need to have a shower before my Chiro appointment but I’m playing with my dogs. I need to get dressed but even getting undressed to get dressed is hard work but doesn’t encourage me to shower. I don’t leave the house much when I’m not working so I usually just stay in my pj’s for a few days. I know that’s pretty disgusting but that’s what I do. When I have an appointment I just throw a top on so it looks better and brush my hair. They only see me from the chest up! @Flutterbug9

The grounding is really good. When I give myself massive job lists for the day I have to stop for the 5 minutes to do it. My psych said it’s to give myself some maintenance (self care) during my massive days. The dogs love it. I usually use Pix as she is more snuggly. Jett likes to be picked up while I have a smoke so that’s his time. I love it after I have bathed them as the smell of the shampoo also adds to it. I do give them a lot of attention but not always focus on the grounding.

I hate when your mind won’t focus. At least my ADHD meds help with that a lot of the time. Without them I can’t manage to do anything. At least you know your limits and took the time to do something that relaxes you.

I got really tired on my dayshift yesterday and kept stuffing up. But at least I had an understanding digger operator. I just fixed what I did wrong and then he loaded me.

I’ve woken up tired today but I’ll go to bed at 12 and get some sleep (hopefully) before I start my nightshifts tonight.

I hope you have had some good sleep. How are you going? I hope things are feeling as ok as they can be?

I was listening to audio by a psychologist. Things that’s stuck in my mind she said is action leads to motivation. Also when struggling to do things, to say out loud ‘doing this for 2 minutes’. I’ve got few things I Must do today (including shower and washing my hair) going to try her theory @Captain24

ive got 2nd appointment with new psychologist tomorrow afternoon which am looking forward to.

Yesterday realised I’m going to need bit of help with part of one item. I bought square chrome shelf unit to put some of my Lego on, will get some pieces of mdf cut to size at some stage.

@Captain24 i hear you with the medication sweet, just please make sure to seek medical advice if you need to. I know the side effects from some medications can be horrible to deal with and i respect your decision to stop taking it, i just want to make sure you are safe aswell.

Sometimes I do but lately it's been hard to find those moments, it's usually Casper that brings a smile to my face for a short time by doing something silly.

I appreciate your suggestions so much sweet, please know that. You actually really helped when you said the one about Casper, that one really saved me last night. When I woke up in a panic I remembered what you said and I took the time to just focus on him, his soft ears, his coat, his breathing and it really helped to calm me down.

How are you feeling this morning sweetheart?

Thanks for those @Flutterbug9. I need to hear them today.

Funny you should say that about the psychologist. My GP said to me if I wait for motivation I won’t find it. I have to create it. I do find making a to-do list helps me a lot. I struggle to start it and push myself to do it. If I don’t start as soon as I get up then the struggle is worse. But when I get through a few things then it starts to become a little easier. Maybe that’s me creating a little motivation? I don’t know?

Im glad you are seeing them tomorrow, hopefully it’s a good appointment and it’s good that you are looking forward to it. With my old patch I dreaded seeing her. It was hard work to go but with this one, she is amazing and I love seeing her. It’s a shame that it’s all through Telehealth but at least I don’t have to leave the house.

Im running out of space for Lego! I have to reorganise the ones I’ve got to see if I can fit anymore in. I’ve just added to my shopping list to get more shelves to put into one unit!

At least the MDF will give you more space. If you are ok with it I would love to see a picture when finish but I’m cool if that’s not ok.

How is today going for you? I’m hoping you are able to get done what you need to. Especially the shower and washing your hair. It feels so much better when you do it it’s just doing it that’s the problem. I also struggle to get out of the shower once I’m in!

It’s safe to stop taking it, It’s medical not MH. However if the blood loss starts again I may have to go back on it. I was suppose to take it for 30 days and then see what happens, I’m just stopping earlier than that. The gyno said that after the 30 days if it starts again to go back onto them. So it’s all just a wait and see thing but I’m hoping my mood lifts. @MissGremlin

It can be hard to see anything good when everything is so dark. I like that Casper can help. Do you ever go outside? Can you walk barefoot on the grass at times? Also something else that I like is going outside at night and looking at the moon and stars. I’m in the country so it’s easier to see them though. Especially at work when there is no light around. I’ll just stand there and look at them and wonder who else is looking at them. It’s a nice feeling to know that somewhere out there someone else is looking at the stars too.

Im glad it helped. There is something about just concentrating on them. Not just the general pat and play. I’m glad it helped calm you down, he needs you and use him however you need at the time. I did read that breathing with him helped calm your breathing down. You don’t have anyone around to help with that so at least you have him.

Im pretty down and out and really tired but I’ve been to the chiropractor, done some grocery shopping and packed it away and now I’m cooking dinners ready for the next 2 nights for work. I usually clean my house today as well but I’m struggling with that. I should have started it as soon as I got home and not sat down. I’m trying to tell myself that it’s ok if I only clean the kitchen and tidy all the dog toys. It’ll be dark when my drops the dogs home so she shouldn’t notice.

How is things for you?

@Captain24 ok sweet I understand and I'm really hoping that stopping the medication helps lift your mood and the the blood loss doesn't start again.

I do go outside when I take Casper out but I don't like the feeling of the grass under my feet without shoes on. But I love going outside at night time and looking at the moon and stars. It's so nice to feel like you're not alone when you are looking up at the night sky, knowing that someone else is doing the same thing.

Having him there really helps and he knows when I'm struggling, he won't leave my side.

I'm sorry you are feeling down and out but well done for getting to the chiropractor and doing the shopping. You are doing so well to make dinner for the next couple of nights, I'm really proud of you. It's completely ok to just do what you can today sweet, the rest of the cleaning can wait until you are feeling up for it. Hehe oh I can relate to the dogs toys, Casper has his spread all over the house 😂.

I am feeling very heavy today, just trying to be gentle with myself. I'm actually surprised I'm not tired given that I've only had 2 hours of sleep.