I can’t cope

I must say, since it’s done the dogs are quiet! Jett hadn’t settled as he keeps going to the lounge and sniffing but he isn’t barking! @tyme

Yeah. It’s only day surgery. I would never cope if I had to stay in, I’m not coping now! I don’t want anyone here. Mum said maybe if it’s if i bleed to much or something. I told her just to keep her mobile close and I’d call. If it’s to do with safety after the anaesthetic then they will be asleep anyway. Mum will ring me first thing in the morning to check on me. The dogs will be fine. I like them being my company.

Thanks for thinking of me. I wish you were around after I get home from work tomorrow night 😢

My psych (before she was my psych) tried to get me to do one on my first day at hospital last time but I just can’t do them. She still remembers!

What Lego animals do you have? I like those ones, I’ve done heaps of them.

omigosh THAT DARN CAT!! @Captain24 haha you poor thing, it is so valid to not like cats - I don't take offence to that don't worry! Yeah you definitely have enough on your plate, and if you're as sensitive to sound as I am, I can imagine the dogs' barking was really overwhelming!

Nothing much exciting on for me today, I've just been watching Drag Race and getting yelled at by Trixie and Razz who decided that I was personally responsible for the rain ruining their outside playtime 🤣

I am sending you supportive, healing vibes for your upcoming surgery hun, and will catch up on how it all went next weekend 💜 Hugs!

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Yes it hard to give myself some slack. I don’t know how to @AuntGlow

The cat thing as so overwhelming trying to get it out of the house the noise the dogs were making it was just too much. They finally stopped and didn’t start again so that was good.

I can teach you if I tell you the steps and you watch a YouTube video at the same time!

I need the beach for the next few days. I have my surgery tomorrow and I’m so scared at least I’m in my way to work so I don’t have to think about it.

Are you around tonight? I won’t be home until 8 but I think I’m going to need some help to get through the night.

Hello lovely, yes - I am here! How are you today? @Captain24

I know things must feel really overwhelming right now, but we're in this together. 🫶

Hey @AuntGlow

I was distracted for a lot of the day but as it got closer to knock off my anxiety increased. A lot.

I got a missed call and the voice mail said my time has changed to 8:30 which means we now leave at 6:30. It’s sooner than I expected. But I guess it’ll be over quicker!

Anxiety growing towards the end of your shift makes a lot of sense @Captain24.

This is a positive way to look at it! Will you be leaving at 6.30am?

Also, know that you can come here and chat to people throughout your day - you don't have to do this alone. We've got you. 🫶

My heart is racing @AuntGlow. I can’t think straight. I can’t do anything, I need to clean the house and am just walking around. I can’t sit still either. I’m shaking.

Okay, I am with you @Captain24.

I know things are really scary right now, but I want you to know that you are safe. It's going to be okay. Can you try rubbing your arms and legs with your hands or wrapping your arms around yourself to give yourself a hug? Maybe you could practice some body shaking or bouncing too? I am wondering is something gentle and somatic could help here? 💛

I’m trying that.. it’s helping a little with the shaking but my heart rate is out of control and my breathing isn’t much better. I feel like I’m going into a panic attack and I don’t usually get them. Hopefully it’s just an anxiety attack.

Would taking a shower be helpful? As a sort of reset? I know that helps me when I feel this way. @Captain24

If not, I am wondering if there's anything on your safety plan that you might be able to refer to? 🫶