I can’t cope

hey @Captain24 i know it can be a bit overwhelming when things don't make sense, and it's okay - you don't have to have everything figured out right at this moment. sometimes feeling tired makes those negative thoughts persist more, but then those thoughts make you more tired - it's almost like a loop! is there anything that can keep you safe? maybe even sleeping/resting on the bed?

we're here for you 💛

There’s a continuous loop running around in my head and none of it good @rav3n All unhealthy thoughts.

I’ve taken my meds so they should hopefully knock me out in about 30 mins.

I’ve written a list of things to do everyday over my break. Even writing the list was hard. I don’t see myself doing it. I haven’t even got the washing off the line that I did when I got home from work this morning.

I just can’t do anything. I’m sitting in a chair out on the back verandah. With the dogs just laying in front of me. I’ve got nothing in me.

My meds haven’t kicked in. The thoughts are louder. Stronger. I’m so tired I can’t cope with them.

hopefully sleep helps you gain a bit more control over those negative thought loops @Captain24

making a list of things to do sounds great! are you rewarding yourself for each task you get done?
even i struggle to stick to my schedule a lot of the time. i'll have a list of chores to get done but then barely finish any in time. sometimes i used reminder alarms and lil rewards as motivation. other times, i'll break the task into smaller parts and re prioritise things. like maybe i'll set a timer and say in 10 minutes i need to move from my bed to the dinning room. then another 10 min timer to move from the dinning room to the backyard. and then another 10 min timer to gather a few clothes (usually i end up getting them all because i can't be bother doing multiple trips back and forth), etc. not sure if that's helpful but thought i'd share in case you wanted to try.

The longer I’m awake the less I feel safe. @rav3n

This is self-sabotaging but I’ve got nothing that I can see for a reward. I don’t have any interest in anything. I’m going to try some crafty stuff but I don’t see it happening.

The timer is a good idea.

Ello @Captain24 . Sounds like a tough evening?

Did I tell you it's my niece's bday today? I let her watch Encanto... I don't even know what it's about... Have you seen it?

Hey @tyme

Just a little rough. It’s pretty scary actually and until I fall asleep who knows what could happen.

Happy birthday to your niece 9? I’ve never seen that movie so I have no idea. Do you make the day special for her. (I’m recalling you don’t do birthdays)

I can sit with you if you want. @Captain24

You're right. I don't do birthdays so the extent is watching something on the computer. Oh, and she got maccas for dinner. lol. That's it. That's enough a treat for her because she hardly gets a movie or maccas.

This is prob equivalent to what a lot of kids get every night.

Yes pleas @tyme. I should go to sleep

soon. I’ve been laying in bed for ages.

I like how you do little special treats. You’re right though, it’s probably something a lot of kids do all the time. I don’t think it’s healthy though.

In going to organise a lunch with

my bestie one weekend with her son and have maccas. They live out of town so he doesn’t get it either.

What’s happening for the weekend?

If I stop replying just know I am safe and asleep.

Thanks for letting me know @Captain24

Yeah, these kids here don't get screens and junk food so hence it's actually a treat as it ought to be.

I think these days, kids have too much so they can't be grateful for small things.

My nephew is even easier. Even if I give him a pencil, he's grateful. If I spend 1:1 time with him, all he things about is his sisters. It's as though he feels odd and weird if he gets 1:1 attention because he never gets it.

Organising going out sounds great! Isn't it funny how maccas can be a treat when there are others who eat it all the time? I don't like it much. As I've mentioned in the past, just go slow with your friend. It sounds like small doses at a time is enough?