I can’t cope

It’s been too long I think @tyme. I’m feeling really depressed and home sick.

I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my calf muscles and back. Neither are getting but just worse every time I walk. Tuesday and Wednesday I did a massive amount of exercise because my Pdoc said I needed to exercise more. The nurses are concerned because I broke down through extreme exhaustion. The nurse yesterday told me I wasn’t allowed to go out for walk in the afternoon. It’s obviously been written in my notes for handover because this mornings nurse new.

We had no facilitators today so there were no groups. That meant an entire day of nothing. The thought of that was getting me really down. It left me feeling very alone. I went to the nurses station and said I was going for a walk. A really nice nurse didn’t want to let me go. She agreed on the walk if I promised to Uber back. I was not to walk up that hill. I agreed.

I walked down to the beach and cried in pain. The pain is making me feel so much worse. I walked along the water for a bit and then went and sat down again to rest my legs. I then walked to Coles. The pain was so intense that I could barely walk. Walking around the supermarket I started to loose all feeling in my feet. They went numb. You know that feeling where it doesn’t really function and so much larger than it is?

I managed to make it safely and called an Uber.

I get back here and just cried again. The nurse sent me to rest. I have spent all afternoon asleep.

Awww @Captain24 .

Ouchy. But at least, through this, you have learnt to get an uber!

Be careful that you don't overdo the exercise. Exercise is good for the back, but not excessively. I tell you what helps me most if I have a sore back? Swimming. It's low resistance.

If you can't feel your feet, that can be pretty serious. Do you intend on seeing a specialist after?

Hugs to you.

Do you have plans for when you return home?

Hi @Captain24 , sorry to hear about your painful back and calves 😣

I read that you're going home on Wednesday? Do you feel your admission has been helpful?

One bonus is the Uber @tyme.

I told a nurse today about the fact that my feet went numb and he checked them out. I have swelling and fluid on my feet and ankles. He said I need to see my GP but it’s hard to make an appointment.

Im about to go to the gym and then I’ll Uber down to the beach and Uber back. It’ll get me out and I get to go to the beach. I’ll just walk along the water carefully. I’m going out tomorrow to walk along a cool bridge that is near here. I’ll take photos but I’ll have to be careful as it’s pretty recognisable.

Im working on plans with my psych about what to do. Hopefully we can come up with some stuff.

I’m still really struggling @NatureLover but I have improved a little bit. I also have a fantastic psych that I’ve gained while being in here.

How have you been?

I hope things are okay with your back... it sounds a bit serious @Captain24 , but I'm no doctor.

How'd the walk go today?

I think things are pretty serious but I’ll worry about it when I get back @tyme

I just went in the surf and it was great but now my calves are hurting again.

Sorry you're still really struggling, @Captain24 😥

Will you continue with the excellent psych when you get home?

I have been all topsy-turvy. Not online much.

I’m sorry things have been so tipsy turns for you @NatureLover. I’m willing to listen if you need.

Yes I get to keep my awesome psych. I’m currently seeing her privately while I’m in here.

My Pdoc just came in and she doesn’t want to change anymore meds just yet. She is going to follow up with me get discharge for a few months to adjust what needs to be adjusted. So that’s a relief.

How are you feeling today @Captain24 ?

Hope your back is better.

Did you go to the beach?